Today is the Obama Crowley Gates beer summit!

[Kohster]

This Thursday President Obama has a beer with Professor Henry Louis Gates and Officer James Crowley, the two primary parties in the racially charged arrest that has become drawn media focus away from the Health Insurance Reform promotion Obama has been pushing. It’s being hyped as the most important alcoholic drink in Civil Rights history since Lyndon Johnson and Martin Luther King split a bottle of Jim Beam in 1968. Johnson went on such a tear he actually passed the Civil Rights Act before finally drying out. What will this accomplish?

Here’s the secret advance transcript from the meeting.

President Obama: Welcome here Gentlemen. Officer Crowley. Professor Gates.

Officer Crowley: It’s an honor, Mr. President

Professor Gates: Thank you Mr. President

Obama: Let’s all sit down. Shelly will be right here with our beers.

Crowley: Well I’m looking forward…

Obama: Shut the f*** up.

Crowley: I’m sorry?

Gates: I think he said…

Obama: BOTH of you shut the f*** up. I have absolutely no time to hear whatever crap is your f***ing problem. I am trying to pass a Goddamned Health Care plan. It’s not a “Have Beers With a Couple of ***holes” plan. I’m trying to get on Mount f***ing Rushmore, not have beers with…oh here’s Shelly.

Shelly: Hello gentlemen! Just to confirm, what kind of beers would you like?

Crowley: Blue Moon.

Gates: I actually don’t drink beer.

Obama: You will drink a Goddamned beer, even if I have to get one of those G-men to waterboard it down your f***ing throat. Now Gates, I know you. So I know what a pompous a** you are. Officer Crowley, you seem to be a fine officer, teaching a class on racial sensitivity to the other police.

Crowley: Yes Mr. President, I’m very proud of…

Obama: Now you can teach a course on how to completely f*** up an interracial encounter. Because you are one stupid Goddamned bastard. I’m sorry I said it was stupid for you to arrest a man in his own home, because it f***ed up my Goddamned agenda, not because it wasn’t 150 % true. You have got to be the stupidest Goddamned cop in America, and you know, even though politicians are always calling you the finest, there’s a hell of a lot of dips*** power tripping cops. How the f*** did you not just get the hell out of there once you’d realized it was all a big f***-up? How the hell do you end up with this old guy in cuffs when it’s his Goddamned house?

Crowley: Well, as you know from the reports and the news, Professor Gates became belligerent…

Obama: What, did he hurt your feelings? Did he make you feel bad? He’s a rich black man, in his own Goddamned house and you’re busting him. Here’s what happens: He screams bloody murder, and you tip your cap and back the f*** out of the house.

Gates: I’ve been trying to explain just that Barack…

Obama: And you, have you lost your mind? You think you’re f***ing cop-proof? Un-coppable? Jesus H. Christ! A black man mouthing off to the cops. Cops aren’t your students, dips***; Cops are ***holes who will f*** you up if they get a chance. You must be the stupidest idiot since officer idiot here. And you’d better keep your Goddamned head low for the next eight years. You are not going to play this for your fifteen minutes. Remember Reverend Wright? Notice you don’t see him anymore? That’s because he’s rotting in a cave full of scorpions in North Afghanistan. I can do these things. I’m the Goddamned President. Officer Crowley, I can have a bullet put in your head, and I don’t mean shot. I can get a man who will physically put the bullet in your head, with his fingers. So both of you shut up and drink your Goddamned beers. Then we’re going to do a little press conference and you guys are going to act all nicey nice and smile, or I will ruin your f***ing lives and your families’ lives too. I’m the Goddamned President; I’ve got better things to do than this.

Crowley: What about your “teachable moment?”

Obama: This is it. I’m teaching you to shut the f*** up, drink your beer and then make nicey nice. Have you learned the lesson, or do I have to show you how my security can work your inner organs without leaving a bruise? Yes? Yes? See! You’re learning. Now you two drink your beers, while I sit in silence and think about f***ing Health Care.

mmm…

Okay, done?

Crowley: Yep.

Gates: Yes, Mr. President.

Obama: Okay. Let’s go make nicey nice.

--as transcribed to Dan Kilian

[numbnuts240]

Crowley: What about your “teachable moment?”

Obama: This is it. I’m teaching you to shut the f*** up, drink your beer and then make nicey nice.

b.o. is bad a**

[ThatGuyRoger]

that was too funny

[AZhitman]

Spectacularly funny!

Now, if our Prez actually had the sack to say some of that stuff, I'd have voted for him.

Nice find, Kohster.

[eds13]

^ I still wouldn't have.

ugh.... i would like a blue moon tho

[Red coupe]

I wonder if Obama actually drinks bud light, or if its just to help him appear as a "regular guy"

Man I hate politics.... and bud light...

[AZ89two4Tsx]

Obama said he didn't want to say what he drank because then the manufacturer would use it as an endorsement.

[MastaYu]

[AZ89two4Tsx]

Obama likes purple drank.

[AZhitman]

"PURPLE DRANK!!!!"

[Repo Man]

Mrs. Repo JUST had one of those about an hour ago. Apparently, it was wonderful. She called Torry, but Torry didn't have time to talk. Even though it was about Purple Drank.

[simmode1]

Favorite part... by far.

I can have a bullet put in your head, and I don’t mean shot. I can get a man who will physically put the bullet in your head, with his fingers. So both of you shut up and drink your Goddamned beers.

As Riley would say: So gangsta...

[Red coupe]

Obama said he didn't want to say what he drank because then the manufacturer would use it as an endorsement.

lol, thats even lamer... because it was on about every news show last night what he ordered and I can't help but think if he really wanted it kept secret it would be.

Hell the whole thing is stupid. Reeks of cheesy publicity stunt.

[dusred]

Damn. That was funny.

[nissangirl74]

Damn, that was epic!!

If I had Obama's e-mail address, I'd send that too him!

[dusred]

With Obama being the guy he is I'm sure he'll find it. I don't like Obama one bit but I do like how chill he is.

[themadscientist]

Probably chill because he is playing president on our dime.

[Red coupe]

Probably chill because he is playing president on our dime.

Your from another country, quit yer b****en.

[themadscientist]

Well, you're from Kalifornia, I'm from, the rest of America, so, yeah, we are from different countries!

[Red coupe]

Well, you're from Kalifornia, I'm from, the rest of America, so, yeah, we are from different countries!

sucks to be you, have fun with the hick states.

[themadscientist]

You mean the ones NOT paying their bills with IOUs and furloughing state employees?

The experiment that is the people's republic of Kalifornia has failed (not saying you agree with the policies of course). The Federal government, at least the hard left has a hard on for the way that state has been run,,,,,into the ground, and they want to do it on a countrywide scale. Scary stuff man. If one state is having trouble you can always aim towards Oregon or Nevada and hit the gas. What do we do if the whole country goes this way?

[WDRacing]

I don't care what happens to the rest of the country, just so long as they adopt CA's Marijuana reform

[audtatious]

After the beer bash, Obama steps out to get his wonderful deed noted by photographers for all to see, thus leaving the racist to help the handicapped man down the stairs.



This is in direct contrast to the previous President who lent a helping hand to a racist of the past and one who vehemently hated him.....Sen. Robert C. Byrd



Crowley seems to be a decent sort. Being automatically kind to those who would use him as an example.

[AZhitman]

"Hick states"?

As opposed to 'ghetto state' (CA) with some areas flush with wealth?

If CA didn't have a coastline, it'd be Texas, but with more weirdos and crappier freeways.

[Kohster]

would you prefer the term " fly-over states?"

and I hate it that the most of the weirdos here come from others states. The weirdos and a-holes from other states seem to love migrating here.

so glad we have a coastline and arent like the other states
Modified by Kohster at 1:20 PM 8/1/2009

[audtatious]

Maybe you should help make CA somewhat less extreme-left leaning and they will go back to the NE coast?

[Kohster]

its hollywood too, A LOT of people travel here every year trying to get work as actors and these guys usually are the a-holes from others states who think they're better than the hick state they came from lol

[audtatious]

I wouldn't know. I've visited CA a few times on business and didn't care for it. Staying in downtown San Fran I could not go anywhere without stepping over the bums sleeping on man hole covers or having one follow me around with a cup and penny, which he rattled. San Diego was not too bad I guess.....

[Kohster]

I hate central and northern ca honestly. And I've studied at UC Santa Cruz and Berkeley and I've lived in modesto for a year. Meth labs everywhere lol.

[audtatious]

Berkeley, huh? Did you live in the tree's?

Just remember, what happens in central/northern CA is the "norm" and is pressed upon the rest of us.