I need some solid opinions. Boyfriend issue.

[numbnuts240]

One must not confuse obsession with love

or any of these

with love

exactly my point. she may be infatuated with him, but it may very well not be because of love.

Watch it.

But I know what you mean. Went out of state for mine as well

you don't count, you entered friend zone from the get-go so i don't categorize you with all the other broads around.

[modo]

it's over, i've found someone new, and i couldn't be happier.

YOU'RE WELCOME!!!!!

[sentrastace]

exactly my point. she may be infatuated with him, but it may very well not be because of love.

It's lust if:

You're totally focused on her looks and bodyEven before you know her name, you're already fantasizing about what she looks like naked and what it would be like to have sex with her.

You don't care about anything she has to sayIt wouldn't make a difference to you if you never had a conversation with her. Furthermore, you don't bother to return her calls promptly and you can easily go for days without talking to her -- until you get horny again.

You only want to be with her to have sexYou make excuses not to spend time with her, except for sex. And if she asks you for a favor, you tell her you're too busy. But if you have to be with her and not have sex, she gets on your nerves and you find yourself fantasizing about other women.

She's your booty callAfter you go out trolling for tail with your buddies on Friday night, you then call her at 1 a.m. for some drunken action. Ah, the booty call.

You leave after sexAfter having sex with her, you look for the easiest way to leave. No cuddling, no breakfast the next morning, just "I gotta go."

It's love if:

You have great chemistryYou get lost in your conversations, and the hours pass like minutes. You're more than willing to listen to her when she talks about her day. The chemistry between you is remarkable.

You find her beautifulEven if you catch her with no makeup on and her hair pulled back while she's unclogging a toilet, she still looks beautiful to you.

You want to spend time with herAll you want to do is to be with her, whether you're having sex or not. Even if she tells you that sex will have to wait, you don't care.

You see a future togetherYou experience the strange feeling that your life would be totally empty without her. You tell your friends and family that she may be The One, and you're even thinking about marrying her.

You introduce her to your familyIt becomes very important to you that your parents like her, and that she gets along with everyone close to you.

You include her in all your plansWhether you're going out with your male friends or taking your dog for a walk, you want her there with you. And if she's not there, you can't get her off your mind and sneak off to give her a quick "I miss you" phone call. Of course, you don't tell your buddies.

You are more romanticAll of a sudden you find yourself listening to cheesy romantic songs and thinking of her. You send her flowers and love notes to work and set up romantic evenings candlelit dinners at home.

You always take her sideIf someone says anything even slightly disparaging about her, you immediately rise to her defense. Furthermore, in social gatherings, you always agree with her even if you disagree behind closed doors.

She makes you want to be a better manShe challenges and motivates you. She makes you happy, and you'd do anything to make her happy.

Do you guys agree with this article? from askmen.comhttp://www.askmen.com/dating/c....html

[RobPaulson]

meh stace you need to stop looking to others for answers.

be honest with yourself, i have a feeling you already know the resolution to this situation. stop dancing around it and be true to yourself and your gut. it sounds like your trying to justify your decision with other peoples opinions, so if it doesnt work out, you have someone to blame (not directly, but you can then think to yourself 'aw well i got bad advice, i didnt f*** it up').

just be honest with yourself.

[RobPaulson]

i also HATE those stupid articles telling people how to feel and what to think about thier significant other. there is no formula for this crap, people are the way they are. not to mention, all this 'you should do this' 'how to please your man' 'what your man wants' 'what your man is really telling you' is all just brain washing in my eyes. (not in a foil hat way, but in a lack of a better word way)

i see this because i participate in some online dating (hey! dont judge me!), and you have NO IDEA how many beautiful girls out there have NO personality, THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. you know why? because they read cosmo and askmen.com .... i'm not even kidding, i could compile a generic 'profile' and it would match 80% of the online dating profiles in existence.

so i'll say it again, be true to yourself, phuk everyone else and what they consider to be a standard of living or relationships.

[Koshin]

this thread is funny..

HA

[sentrastace]

meh stace you need to stop looking to others for answers.

be honest with yourself, i have a feeling you already know the resolution to this situation. stop dancing around it and be true to yourself and your gut. it sounds like your trying to justify your decision with other peoples opinions, so if it doesnt work out, you have someone to blame (not directly, but you can then think to yourself 'aw well i got bad advice, i didnt f*** it up').

just be honest with yourself.

im not here looking for answers, just advice, an opinion, and an opportunity to vent and maybe think aloud a little so I can make the right decision. I am not basing my answers off the opinions here, ultimately whatever I do or think will be my doing and if I am wrong im not gonna blame it on NICO.

[MellowZ32]

not to be a d!ck to you stace. I like you but... Karma is a bich!I don't like cheaters.

[sentrastace]

i also HATE those stupid articles telling people how to feel and what to think about thier significant other.

not to mention, all this 'you should do this' 'how to please your man' 'what your man wants' 'what your man is really telling you' is all just brain washing in my eyes. (not in a foil hat way, but in a lack of a better word way)

I agree. I have no interest in THOSE types of articles but articles that give a psychological, unbiased perspective. i hate cosmo and etc because I dont need a magazine to tell me "how to please my man" and etc and im sure they dont know excatly what my man is thinking like they state. I know this article from askmen.com isnt the best answer but it is simple and straightforward and I think true on the most basic level ONLY.

I only posted that because someone said maybe we were in lust and after getting a simple explanation (people can go on for days about what lust is and what love is) i concluded that there is indeed real love in our relationship but it just isnt enough to make him not want to cheat/deceive me. either that or hes faking love.

[RobPaulson]

im not gonna blame it on NICO.

(not directly

i dont think i got my point across properly..... oh well, guess thats why im single

[nissangirl74]

i concluded that there is indeed real love in our relationship but it just isnt enough to make him not want to cheat/deceive me.

Then it's not real.

[Dattebayo]

I have never met a girl I liked from around DC. I don't expect many women to find guys they like from around here either. It's too expensive and retarded to think about relationships around here IMO.

I say dump and get back into the scene. Have some fun and don't go into a relationship for a while... If you do, you're just settling.

[n240sxfnatic]

If I were you, I'd go out. I'd have sex with strange men. I'd have sex with basketball players. I'd have sex with Greeks. Men from Greece. I'd satisfy my urges. I'd satisfy my sexual desires.

[f1seb]

Neon........nuff said.

[EZcheese15]

Well I guess I'm late to the game, but here's my $.02:

Most of what I have to say has already been mentioned, but here's my opinion. Like mentioned, if you met him because he was cheating on somebody else with you, than you can only expect that its possible he's cheating on you with somebody else. As a general rule of thumb, girls tend to make changes in their lives, and guys don't. I mean, some do, but in general.

It's like the old saying, "A girl marries a guy hoping he'll change, and a guy marries a girl hoping she'll never change." The reality is, most of the time the exact opposite happens. The guy never changes and the girl grows up.

If you don't feel like the relationship is going 100%, then he's not the right one. I'm lucky enough to have a handful of friends who are married and are absolutely in love with each other. And you know what? You can tell. Nobody around them questions it, and everyone agrees. The fact that you're questioning it yourself should tell you something.

Anyway, like its been mentioned, you could get any guy you want. Not only are you beautiful (as already mentioned a million times in this thread), but you are extremely nice, appreciative, and motivated. In my opinion, those are far better qualities anyway. In fact, because you are so beautiful, that may actually be one of your problems (don't take it the wrong way). But because of this, you will tend to have more of the pretty-boy player types hitting on you than your average girl, and you're more susceptible to fall for the trick.

My advice is get pickier. Be single for awhile. Let love fall into place itself, and don't go chasing after it.

[Ajax]

If I were you, I'd go out. I'd have sex with strange men. I'd have sex with basketball players. I'd have sex with Greeks. Men from Greece. I'd satisfy my urges. I'd satisfy my sexual desires.

I'm guessing there's really nothing but p0rn in your town.

[Koshin]

Ok Stace, Ill have sex with you. GOD

[nissangirl74]

Well I guess I'm late to the game, but here's my $.02:

Most of what I have to say has already been mentioned, but here's my opinion. Like mentioned, if you met him because he was cheating on somebody else with you, than you can only expect that its possible he's cheating on you with somebody else. As a general rule of thumb, girls tend to make changes in their lives, and guys don't. I mean, some do, but in general.

It's like the old saying, "A girl marries a guy hoping he'll change, and a guy marries a girl hoping she'll never change." The reality is, most of the time the exact opposite happens. The guy never changes and the girl grows up.

If you don't feel like the relationship is going 100%, then he's not the right one. I'm lucky enough to have a handful of friends who are married and are absolutely in love with each other. And you know what? You can tell. Nobody around them questions it, and everyone agrees. The fact that you're questioning it yourself should tell you something.

Anyway, like its been mentioned, you could get any guy you want. Not only are you beautiful (as already mentioned a million times in this thread), but you are extremely nice, appreciative, and motivated. In my opinion, those are far better qualities anyway. In fact, because you are so beautiful, that may actually be one of your problems (don't take it the wrong way). But because of this, you will tend to have more of the pretty-boy player types hitting on you than your average girl, and you're more susceptible to fall for the trick.

My advice is get pickier. Be single for awhile. Let love fall into place itself, and don't go chasing after it.

Perfect. /thread

[Bubba1]

If I were you, I'd go out. I'd have sex with strange men. I'd have sex with basketball players. I'd have sex with Greeks. .

Have I mentioned lately that I play on the Greece olympic basketball team...?. j/k

Stace, I'm confident you'll make the right decision for you.

Torry: well said, sir.

[sentrastace]

thanks for all of your input, NICO.

[jona300zx]

Your welcome... and hi.... I am JONA. kthxbye.

[breadbox]

Your welcome, Stace.

Swim Strong.

[krash]

Any time

<----- Likes listening

[Jesda]

Cheaters cheat. So, that resolves that issue.

[AppleBonker]

Cheaters cheat. So, that resolves that issue.

I don't know about this entirely. I have cheated before, though only the one time. Fact is, it ate me up inside, as lame as that sounds. Once I realized what a mistake I made, I put in the effort to regain the trust that was lost. It took a long time and was a lot of hard work, but the motivation came from me. From the little I've read about your situation (let's face it, no one from NICO knows remotely close to your whole story, only you do), it doesn't seem like he has come to the same conclusion.

I knew what I did was wrong, and I was honestly concerned it was going to destroy a wonderful relationship (at the time). I chose to fess up because I thought it was the right thing to do, and the only way to potentially save the relationship. I wasn't caught, I came clean on my own. Since then, I made it a point to never cheat again. Sure, I felt terrible about what I did to her. But I ruled out ever cheating again because how horrible it made me feel as a person. I'm not proud of that decision, but I'm fairly certain I've learned a great deal about myself from it.

I just don't get the feeling that your guy is in the same boat. It was stated previously on this thread, so I guess I'll repeat it. I'm sure you know in your heart what needs to be done. It's a tough call, so I can understand the hesitation. The same chick I cheated on later cheated on me. Karma is a beotch. But, I tried to give her the same chance she gave me. Unfortunately, she blew it and I had to kick her to the curb. Not exactly the way I pictured that ~7 year relationship to work out. But, to this day I am still completely satisfied with my decision and I wouldn't change a thing if I could do it over.

It appears you've given this guy plenty of opportunities to make things work. For whatever reason (seriously, not to be a d!ck but this guy sounds retarded), he is not putting in the same effort. You seem like an awesome person, and I can guarantee that there is someone better out there for you. Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to point out that I think some guys can change. It just doesn't seem like yours wants to. Good luck!

[JustinStrife]

Kick him to the curb. If a person will cheat on you once, they will do it again. He's also hiding things behind your back(or trying to). You can't trust him. There's plenty of fish in the sea and half of nico. Go out and find a better fish.

[Urabus GodofTraction]

Once a cheater always a cheater.

[Jesda]

I don't know about this entirely.

I know this entirely. I also like turtles.

[AppleBonker]

I know this entirely. I also like turtles.

As one who has made the mistake in the past, I have to force myself not to believe this, or else I'm doomed... That, or I can just stay single and not have to worry about it.

[themadscientist]

I'm not judging you, but I think it important to look at this situation logically.

1. You were cheating with him before. That sets up the impression that that is a reasonable relationship arrangement.

2. He was cheating with you before. This reinforces the impression that you condone the activity.

3. he cheated on you very quickly and you forgave him. This drives home the impression that cheating is not a deal-breaker for you.

This relationship was spawned and grew to its current state laced with multiple incidents of infidelity. The very very foundation upon which it is built is mud; no structure can last built on that.

You need to do some soul-searching and come to understand what you really want. If you like to live fast and loose, be honest with yourself and live that way. I think the only time you do something "wrong" is when you misrepresent what you are about to others. If you, however, truly want a committed relationship, you must first sever ties with this guy. Don't hate him, don't make a big deal about it. You two cannot travel the same path and you have to part ways. You then need to live the way you claim to want. That means, no hooking up with someone who is in a relationship. If he would be willing, he's a cheater and he will show you no more respect than his current girlfriend. If he is with someone, and he really wants to be with you, and he breaks cleanly and maturely with his current girl before starting anything with you, then you know you have found a REAL MAN, and he might be a keeper. Unless he drives a Honda of course.