THE OFF TOPIC THREAD

[a.blanco0905]

Everybody else seems to have one except the M/Fuga community, let's not let them keep us down and post your random sh*t here, instead of having side conversations on other perfectly on topic threads!!!!!!

[antzrus]

The situation in Egypt reminds me of the eventual reduction in the carbon frazement of Mylar kites in Afghanistan. This situation is probably because there is no resistance to sour apple juice with union labor. Although many people have listened to Japanese mendalcourt in the 1500’s. Why should we have to distinguish cabbage from regular oil changes? The truth may be hearing two discordant chocolate renewals of my Time magazine platerzoid. Nufff sayed. OK?

[a.blanco0905]

I came up with this thread with you on my mind Doc Ant!!!

[antzrus]

I came up with this thread with you on my mind Doc Ant!!!

Thanx-we think a lot alike.
Thought I'd oblige you-"off" topic thread. Nuff sayed?

[a.blanco0905]

Thanx-we think a lot alike.
Thought I'd oblige you-"off" topic thread. Nuff sayed?

Yessir.

It's cold as hell here in Texas, it definitely effed up my weekend: not going to Kansas City to meet up with a friend because it's uber cold out that bi*ch and we have a 3 month baby whom my wife doesnt want to "expose." My 5 YO is dissapointed, but oh well, and not going to Dallas either for the same reasons, though it's milder than Kansas City. I have been hoping to get 2 super bowl tickets for about a $1000-$1500 (for both) but that's impossible, I even put an ad up for craiglist saying I "have cash in hand" and all I get is requests to join p0rn sites, dudes selling me 4 tickets for $500- All I'd have to do is wire them the money through Western Union , and "tailgating tickets." Yup, you gotta pay a whole bunch of money to just be outside the Cowboys stadium and stand there watching their big TV...

[bbs350z]

oh jeez, ill post up so many pics when i get home on my compute lol. there a way to post up saved pics in here instead of going through photobucket?

[a.blanco0905]

Wow, nobody posting on here yet? I guess it is true, this is the "high class forum" and y'all too good to have a fun thread. Oh well.

[FNAWSM]

blanco, stop being a wuss and come to KC. Yes we did get a big storm but its been mostly cleaned up. Yes it is cold but your car has heat along with the persons house in which you were going to stay. Plus we were supposed to meet up and grab a drink. I have a 5 month old girl and she says you are a p*ssy

[maguzma]

Yeah its cold here in San Diego I think it got down to 60 degrees. Brrrrrrr. Thank goodness for the perfect sunshine. Tomorrow its suppose to be in the 70's. I better wear a sweater to work. My poor M35 I may have to wash and wax it because of the drizzle. I think this weekend its suppose to go down to the low 50's. I guess I have to wear my wetsuite surfing and then a jacket when I go skiing on Sunday. I feel for you guys in the midwest and East Coast.

[FNAWSM]

^ I hope your car gets sh*t on by a Pterodactyl

[a.blanco0905]

blanco, stop being a wuss and come to KC.

I wish man, we were supposed to be leaving tonight but no cant do... the wife is being over protective, I'm sure there will be another time, besides I usually dont listen to her much but this time she might be right... this weather is kinda serious.

^ I hope your car gets sh*t on by a Pterodactyl

Pterodactyl? Some vocabulary you have Steven... I'm proud of you!!!

[a.blanco0905]

Tomorrow its suppose to be in the 70's.

Showoff... lol...

[maguzma]

Just trying to be funny folks. However, the price to live in SOCAL sometimes make me wish I could live somewhere else. If you only could see my morgage payment than you would understand. It takes alot to live in the sunshine year around.

[antzrus]

Drove to Seattle today (approx 300 mi round trip). Went over Snoqualmie Pass (3022 ft, 921 m) this morning and it was 19 degrees f. and raining;

Came back this afternoon and it was 27 degrees f. and raining a real downpour.

What happened to the snow???

W/my new Conti DWS I stuck to the road like glue at 65-75mph; incredible tire!

[a.blanco0905]

Just trying to be funny folks. However, the price to live in SOCAL sometimes make me wish I could live somewhere else. If you only could see my morgage payment than you would understand. It takes alot to live in the sunshine year around.

I dont know jack about the west coast but in Brooklyn it costs about $450 to live in the PROJECTS, imagine that, my uncle sold his house in Paterson, NJ (which isnt a great place to live either) for about 265k about 4 years ago. That money over here in Killen, Texas and most parts of Texas, literally gets you a mansion. That's mainly why I stayed here, my mortgage is hella affordable

[a.blanco0905]

What happened to the snow???

W/my new Conti DWS I stuck to the road like glue at 65-75mph; incredible tire![/b][/i][/color]

It's snowing in Texas doc, and hey you should become a spokesman for those Contis you brag about so much, I love my Nexen 1000s... they were cheap!!!

[antzrus]

...and hey you should become a spokesman for those Contis you brag about so much, I love my Nexen 1000s... they were cheap!!!

You are right. The reason I tout these tires so much is because my M w/out them was dangerous, loud and for too many I've noted on these forums over the years just a one year lease and then gone. The woman that sold me the machine in the first place gave up a really beautiful, fully equipped machine w/low miles. But driving it home those 900 miles on the OEM GSA's was a nightmare; really. Funny, she never mentioned how poorly it performed. Luckily for me I had read about the tramlining problem previously. I just didn't fully realize how bad the problem could be-she apparently did but was not aware it was the tires; so she sold it to me-and I'm sure glad to be rid of it.

Tramlining has bedeviled so many people, with so many fixes (i.e. steering racks, balancing, rotations, alignments, other tire brands ad infinitum) that didn't work. For me it was the tires, and so I to them...

Hell, the whole damn kit and kaboodle rides on them. It's where the M, no matter your mods, meets the road!

Of course, the coco mats help too

[a.blanco0905]

Hell, the whole damn kit and kaboodle rides on them. It's where the M, no matter your mods, meets the road!

Of course, the coco mats help too [/b][/i][/color]

Ya, I read about your issues with that on other threads, I'm glad my M has been good to me for the 10k miles I've had it so far.

?... Does Conan sponsor your floor mats????

[a.blanco0905]

Now, these are "rims"... not wheels...

[antzrus]

Hell, the whole damn kit and kaboodle rides on them. It's where the M, no matter your mods, meets the road!

Of course, the coco mats help too [/b][/i][/color]

Ya, I read about your issues with that on other threads, I'm glad my M has been good to me for the 10k miles I've had it so far.

?... Does Conan sponsor your floor mats????

Driving an M w/out coco mats is like me doing my show w/out my "mat..."

[a.blanco0905]

This is how Fedex operates in the middle east...

[a.blanco0905]

What is a ricer??? (from the LFSF forum)

Ricers are a stupid bunch of young idiots who decide they are car experts after watching The Fast and the Furious, Pimp My Ride and playing Need For Speed Underground. They then try "SOUPING UP" or "PIMPING" their "RIDES".

This has no relation to making soup which probably tastes nicer than ricers (and is undeniably infinitely more useful) but there might be a connection between SOUP BOXES and the material they use for making body-kits.

Ricer Philosophy

Ricers have many different tastes but in general they operate by the following philosophy:

NEONS, BODY-KITS, FART CANS AND CHROME MAKE THE CAR FASTER, AND WILL HELP US GET LAID BY PREPS.

Ricers have a tendency to tell REAL car enthusiasts that their cars don't look fast enough to beat theirs (LOOK, being the operative word). They tend to see themselves as able tuners of the motor racing world as they try to modify their cars by themselves and believe professional advice or help is useless since "The Fast And The Furious" taught them everything.

They have a strong desire to spend hundreds upon thousands of dollars on unnecessary body-kits, televisions and wings(spoilers) to their cars. Yet they will try to dismantle and destroy the rear seats, side panels etc and say it's to reduce weight. In there mothers garage.


A Ricer car, with enormous DUAL Fart Pipe and Spoiler. Believed to give incredible amounts of engine power

A Ricer’s car is an automobile that that has been modified to give impression of high performance, but does not necessarily have any high-performance capabilities. They usually do this by buying typically (but not necessarily) cheap Japanese Import cars (hence the term “Rice”), and then installing as many “cool” visual modifications on their cars as they possibly can, without any regard to practicality, cost, style or taste. Often, these “modifications” end up costing so much that they ironically could have used that money to actually buy a better car.

Ricers are also typically people who actually know very little if not anything at all about the mechanics of cars. Hence they will often make poor installations of their said “modifications”, by doing things like putting spoilers on their cars that serve no useful function (especially if the car is front wheel drive) even though that would possibly increase drag and decrease traction, painting it wild, eye burning neon colors with flames up the side of their cars that only serve to make the car look like a children’s toy, installing monstrous tachometers into a car which has automatic transmission, and so on.

Common Peformance Modifications done by Ricers

Spoilers and Bodykits

* A 20' spoiler
* Body-kits that take up two lanes on a freeway
* Having a rear wing(spoiler) on a front wheel drive
* Spoilers that are shaped in such a way that they don't produce any down-force so are just there for "looks"
* Having spoilers in rear of their front wheel drive for the "cool looks" when it just looks like a shopping cart handle.

Gauges

* Dinosauric-in-size tachometers with massive shift lights on the dash of cars with automatic transmissions. The light comes on around redline (a.k.a. max power), indicating the proper powerband into which to dump the transmission into 'D'
* Tachometers that go up to an enormous amount of RPM (e.g. around 11000rpm), even though their cars can only go up to around 4500rpm when opened up all the way.
* Boost gauge attached to the A-pillar with double sided tape, with the vac lines hooked up to nothing because there is no turbo...yet
* Huge bright blinking shift lights, you know, just in case you forgot that you have to shift to drive.

Visual

* Neon lights
* Neon lights under the car
* So much chrome it can blind the blind
* Toyota Altezza-style clear tail-lights
* Disgusting paint jobs...I mean blue and bright orange?
* Stickers and decals depicting brands and devices in no way related to the car (i.e. Nismo stickers on a Mitsubishi, VTEC stickers/badges on clearly non-VTEC car)
* Slapping large Japanese stickers on the side for added HP

Audio/Video

* Faulty wiring on sound systems
* A flat screen TV near subwoofers
* A TV instead of rear reg. plates
* Flat Screen Televisions on the back of the front seats, even though they have removed the back seats
* Spending 5 times the value of the base car on speakers

Other

* Suspension springs cut to have a lowered look (note: lowering the car PROPERLY does help in a way of stability, but by no means should anyone cut springs for it is utter stupidity to do so)
* Putting High Grip and thick rubber tyres on the rear wheels even though the car is a Front Wheel Drive.
* Enormous XZZZOOORRRZZZZZTZZZ (a.k.a. FART PIPE) that are just noise machines and aren't actually connected to the exhaust system
* NAs bottles that aren't connected to the actual engine
* Black painted panels that they say is carbon fibre, though clearly they aren't
* Spending 40-50 bucks on every oil change by buying synthetic oil and quality oil filter for their riced cars, hoping that it'll lubricate their engine parts and car will be twice faster when all it does is just prevents your car parts from corroding, wearing, and just lubricates moving parts to run your car smooth. (Regular oil and filter would do the same job for their car. Synthetic oil and quality filter is for high-class cars, such as BMW, Benz, Lexus, Infiniti, Audi, and any other cars that have higher value than these cars)
* While technically not a modification, every Ricer believes that their car has VTEC. VTEC is a variable valve timing system developed by Honda. Though it merely retains peak efficiency of the engine throughout its rev range, the common ricer believes it gives them an instant power boost, much like a turbo. Even ricers of cars other than Hondas believe that VTEC exists in their engine.

Ricer Talk

Example A

At some car park

Ricer 1 - "Look at those chromes bro."

Ricer 2 - "I bet those are light weight"

Ricer 1 - "Must be, chromes are the lightest thing on the freakin market!"

Example B

Another Car park

Ricer 3 - "Just by looking at that wing, I'm sure he has at least 10 freakin grand under that hood."

Ricer 4 - "He also has a NOS AND an NX sticker, he must have two separate systems!"

Ricer 3 and 4 - "WHOOOAAAA...."

Example C

At yet another location

Ricer 5 - "My civic is the fastest thing around this neighborhood."

Ricer 6 - "2 Gs says I can beat you to the police station."

Ricer 5 - "What makes you say that?"

Ricer 6 - "I converted my B16 engine in my civic to a rota! (rotary or Wankel is the proper term but ricers are too stupid to even tell differences between different types of rotary engines, so I shouldn't even be bothering to explain)

Ricer 5 - "OMG! STFU ARE YOU KIDDING?"

Real Car Enthusiast - "What type of rotary?"

Ricer 6 - "You know, ROTA! Jeez don't you know anything about cars?"

Example D

At A Gas Station

Ricer 7 - Check my new intercooler!

Ricer 8 - Whoa coolz!

Real Car Enthusiast - Where the hell's the turbo?

Ricer 7 - You don't need to have a turbo to have an intercooler! What a freakin dumbass...

Example E

At a race circuit

A ricer just lost against a real car enthusiast:

Ricer 9 - You only beat me cauze yooo have freakin turbo!

Real Car Enthusiast - My car is Naturally Aspirated....

Ricer 9 - That's what they all say. (have no idea what that guy just said.)

Example F

In a living room

Ricer 10 - Oh bro, check out da chromes, Chingy styles!

Ricer 11 - Yea, damn straight, they added a forced induction kit to the 240 SuX

Ricer 10 - Yea...(blanking out confused)

Ricer 11 – That’s when dey chuck induction by force, into the VTEC DOHC twin B13 rota

Ricer 10 - eh? I betta get me some of dat shiet!

Both leave room, putting down Classical Cars magazine

Example G

A Ricer is showing his car to a Real Car Enthusiast

Ricer 12 - Yo man! Check out my ride! It's got every single freakin mod you can think of on it!

Real Car Enthusiast - Oh really...?

Ricer 12 - Yo! If da modz been made it's on my freakin ride foo!

Real Car Enthusiast - Hmmm. Yes... Tell me, does it have a DMX 120 Interloper on it?

Ricer 12 - Errr... No I don't have one of those yet, but I'm thinking 'bout it yo!

Real Car Enthusiast - I just made that up you moron.

Example H

A Ricer is being loud and low brow at a gas station, trying to pick a fight with you because you don't want to race him

Ricer 13 - What up dog, you got one of them F14 motors in your civic?

Me - No, this has a d15b7. About 90HP to the wheels.

Ricer 13 - Oh, snap, dog! You gotz to be sprayin the s*** out of it at 30 psi, you can waste a new ZO6(Witch has 510 BHP, 456 pounds of tourqe and does 0-60 in 3.8 seconds.)

Me - No, Its just my daily commute. Its entertaining enough to drive as is, I don't want to break any stock internals

Ricer 13 - (Confused look) s***, dog, You gotz to slam and spray that b**** put quad turbos on it too, cuz I went to UTI and they taught me all that ill s***!

Me - I went to UTI also, but instead of ****ing around in the halls on my cellphone, I paid attention in class. I'm now master ASE certified and I'm also a silver level Honda technician. And when I save enough money, I'll buy a car that is scalable and easy to modify, instead of dumping 20 grand into my 12 year old rusty old s***, so I can sell it for 2 grand in a year or so.

Ricer 13 - Aw, snap. You just gotz to get wit it, I've blown up more rides than you'll ever own.

Me - Are you bragging or complaining? Please go away. You are a leach on society.

Example I

The situation: Ricers often believe that, while their cars are obviously superior to anything on the road, it would be nice to have a more recognizable car (I.E. a Hero Car from the F&F.) Thus, whenever presented with a situation to purchase one, they will attempt to, out of the goodness of thier hearts, trade their "completed masterpiece" to someone in order to "spread the love."

The Ricer approaches APU Supra at informal meet:

Ricer - Yo dawg! That twin turbo supra with the 2JZ is off da hook!

Supra owner - Actually, I converted to a single turbo kit. I'm putting down about 1000 rwhp no spray.

Ricer - Yo dawg...what'd you do that for??? With parts overnighted from Japan and a couplea bottles of Nawz, you should be running 9's in no time. But I'll tell you what. My Integra over there is sitting on 22's with a B18 swap and she's making about 1200 rwhp no nawz, and I'm thinking about throwing a turbo in there. I'll trade you straight up. My teg for your supra. I'll even let you keep the wing, even though it would look great on the supra.

Supra owner - Please go jizz on your poster of Paul Walker. My turbo cost more than your entire car.

Example J

Ricer commenting on the Ferrari-Shell commercial on YouTube

Ricer - all dat money for this unimpressive slow crap. (Obviously has never seen a Formula One car at race speed, and a single bolt on the F1 car is probably worth more than his entire car , before he even got his hands on it)

Real Car Enthusiast - Slow crap? So I bet your Civic with glasspacks and a rear wing can do better?

[antzrus]

[a.blanco0905]

Ayo Doc!!! Im feelin' the nawz yo!!! but u shuldda gon wit da chromes tho, na'mean? tha liteweights yo!!! It's koo tho, I kno u be beatin on them M45s even witout a tach gauge yo!!!

[a.blanco0905]

Women...

[antzrus]

Women... More Sexy than vegetables...

[antzrus]

Really Sexy...

[a.blanco0905]

Really Sexy... NOT.

[a.blanco0905]

Sexy...

[FNAWSM]

We've finally found someone to keep Antz old crazy a$$ company, thank you blanco. When you get tired just drop him back off at the retirement home.