Questions For the married couples out there.

[nissangirl74]

1. Good marriages = Happier people
*People who get married for love and companionship, and not obligation and necessity, are happier, healthier, live longer, and have children who
typically also live healthier, happier lives.

By saying this are you implying that, all else being equal, a married couple will be happier than a non-married couple?

No, I am not. He asked for an example on how marriage can be beneficial to society and I gave him one. Never once did I say that you had to be married to be happy.

[costa_rican13]

this is all funny, i was waiting for jesda to pop in on this. and he did lol. nonsense.. arent people getting , married because they wanna be with eachother and they make eachother happy? atleast now days? because back when my mom and dad got married was because they were having me. im not married yet but i am engaged though.

[Bubba1]

this is all funny, i was waiting for jesda to pop in on this. and he did lol. nonsense.. arent people getting , married because they wanna be with eachother and they make eachother happy? atleast now days? because back when my mom and dad got married was because they were having me. im not married yet but i am engaged though.

But did you propose by saying, "you're what????"

[costa_rican13]

Ok got me there. Lol by saying "will you marry me"? But still saving for the wedding.

[themadscientist]

Good luck to you in your impending nuptials.

[costa_rican13]

thanks

[sentrastace]

there are so many different views on marriage....
for religious purposes...
for financial purposes...
"it's just a piece of paper"
but yet it really means something to some people...
Like when you're a little girl you always dream of getting married...
but now that you're grown up you've got to worry about finances, and that person not being good enough, or breaking your heart, or those scary divorce statistics (divorce is expensive!)
Oy.

[VMPhil]

Marriage is essential to establishing a family unit. When raising children it is important to have that family unit to raise, teach and guide the children. It takes a mother and father to instill moral values, work ethic, and discipline. For the Married couple it creates a strong bond between 2 people who people who share the same values. the couple may be completely different type of people (like a lot of married people i know) but they hold many of the same values dear to their heart and help the other person grow emotionally and characteristically. When one person is down, the other person will always be there to help the other back up.

Living together before marriage is paramount to establishing and confirming this bond. I know a few couples that didnt live together before Marriage and once they lived together, they couldn't stand each other. You have to be able to cope with the little habits. You can have a person try to change a few things about how they live their life but you can't completely change a person. For example, since I have been married I have had to change the way I organize dishes after I wash them. My wife wants stuff in a specific way. I have also had to for-go having a TV in the bedroom. Conversely my wife has had to make some changes in how she does things around the house. once we have come to an understanding or compromise we can learn to co-exist with out aggravating each other. Some people just cant do that. if you have 2 type A personalities it is a lot more difficult and to find that out after marriage sucks a**.

I am not saying a single mother or father cannot raise a child successfully but statistically it is more difficult. My grandmother raise my dad on her own and my father raised me on his own, although I did see my mother quite often its just not the same. I like to think I turned out alright. Too bad so many other people I know who were raised by single parents did not.

[AppleBonker]

Like when you're a little girl you always dream of getting married...

I still remember my dreams vividly

It takes a mother and father to instill moral values, work ethic, and discipline.

What about two mothers? Or two fathers?

[Encryptshun]

It takes a mother and father to instill moral values, work ethic, and discipline.

What about two mothers? Or two fathers?

Thank you for asking that so I didn't have to.

[VMPhil]

It takes a mother and father to instill moral values, work ethic, and discipline.

What about two mothers? Or two fathers?

Ah inquisitive grasshoppa! Very GooD!

As long as you have a yin and yang. 2 mothers or 2 fathers. The saying goes it takes a village to raise a child and while that much may be true, 2 parents are the foundation to keeping a child on the straight path, One hand to discipline and the other hand to pull the child closer. Some people (like myself) beat the odds so it is possible to have a single parent do the job but it is ten times more stressful for the child and the parent (accounting for each variable of hardship e.g.money, time, resources etc.). at least that is what I have observed through personal experience.

[AppleBonker]

Interesting. I know many people who were raised in single-parents households that turned out fine. I would agree that two good, caring parents is better than one. But I would definitely take one good parent over two poor ones. I honestly think the character of the parent is far more important than their relationship status. Could just be me though.

[VMPhil]

Interesting. I know many people who were raised in single-parents households that turned out fine. I would agree that two good, caring parents is better than one. But I would definitely take one good parent over two poor ones. I honestly think the character of the parent is far more important than their relationship status. Could just be me though.

I agree with you on the 1 good parent vs. 2 poor. that's what got me through. My father was very strict and tough with me when he needed to be. I have a couple of friends that are social failures that had 2 parents. However In the best of environments, 2 parents can contribute more money, time and effort to the situation with out being overwhelmed. I never said it was necessary but it is a vital component.

[Bubba1]

there are so many different views on marriage....
for religious purposes...
for financial purposes...
"it's just a piece of paper"
but yet it really means something to some people...
Like when you're a little girl you always dream of getting married...
but now that you're grown up you've got to worry about finances, and that person not being good enough, or breaking your heart, or those scary divorce statistics (divorce is expensive!)
Oy.

Well, I can understand the not being good enough part especially if he drives an SRT-4 (j/k).

You are right that marriage means different things to different people. But at the end of the day, the only important meaning is what you and your significant other attach to it. and it should be similar.

As far as living together prior to marriage. I think it depends on the couple. I lived with my wife before we got married and it was great. Neither of my siblings went that route with their spouses, and they have also enjoyed long happy marriages.

[AppleBonker]

As far as living together prior to marriage. I think it depends on the couple. I lived with my wife before we got married and it was great. Neither of my siblings went that route with their spouses, and they have also enjoyed long happy marriages.

I'm not married, so I can't really answer the how marriage is beneficial part (just haven't given it the thought).

If some chick ever decides I'm actually marriage material, you can bet I will live with her first. See, I'm ridiculously anal about a lot of things. And if something disturbs them it'll get on my nerves really quickly. I need to be positive that will not occur before committing to it. I'm not saying that would be necessary for everyone (as Joel pointed out the alternative can work), but it is a requirement for me.

[sentrastace]

As far as living together prior to marriage. I think it depends on the couple. I lived with my wife before we got married and it was great. Neither of my siblings went that route with their spouses, and they have also enjoyed long happy marriages.

living together before marriage i think is a necessity. theres so much you'll learn about a person from their habits you'll want to know them before you get married and discover something you might not have wanted to deal with lol.

whats scary though is making the commitment to live together, thinking it'll turn out to be marriage eventually, but then it doesnt. good thing about it is that you didnt do it in reverse and get married, live together, then have to divorce because you cant stand the person lol.
i live with him and its nice to know he doesnt runaway when im not wearing makeup, and i laugh and his epic farts.
i do however get annoyed that he hates cleaning and grocery shopping (the very minimum which I ask him to do).
does that a marriage make?

i'm starting to become cynical for some reason. lol.

[AppleBonker]

i do however get annoyed that he hates cleaning and grocery shopping (the very minimum which I ask him to do).
does that a marriage make?

Weird. I kinda enjoy both of those things. I hate folding laundry. But I have no problem grocery shopping (and I'm generally the one cooking). I also try to keep everything clean. But I am, admittedly, a neat freak.

I'm assuming those aren't the only two chores (if you will) assigned to him. If he generally pulls his weight, I guess you just have to decide if these two annoyances are too much.

[sentrastace]

I'm assuming those aren't the only two chores (if you will) assigned to him. If he generally pulls his weight, I guess you just have to decide if these two annoyances are too much.

those are the ONLY chores assigned to him. lol.

[AppleBonker]

Whoops. Then I hope he pays the majority of the living expenses. If not, punch him in the sack and tell him to man up. My bad on making a poor assumption...

[sentrastace]

hahahahaha. living expenses are split down the middle. nice to see youre not a lazy boy

[VMPhil]

I'm assuming those aren't the only two chores (if you will) assigned to him. If he generally pulls his weight, I guess you just have to decide if these two annoyances are too much.

those are the ONLY chores assigned to him. lol.

wow, he has got it good. I wash the dishes, take out the trash, Vacuum the house, feed the cats, scoop the cat box (which the cats are decidedly NOT mine), occasionally feed and walk the dog, Shovel\plow snow, and fix anything broken (including computers). I also help my wife cook and do grocery shopping.

[AppleBonker]

I wash the dishes [and] I also help my wife cook

Not in my house. Best rule ever: whoever cooks does not clean. I'll spend 3-4 hours cooking if I have to just to avoid 15 minutes of doing dishes. Lulz. Plus, when I cook I know that I am going to eat something I enjoy and it will be cooked to perfection.

[Kompresshun]

I wash the dishes [and] I also help my wife cook

Not in my house. Best rule ever: whoever cooks does not clean. I'll spend 3-4 hours cooking if I have to just to avoid 15 minutes of doing dishes. Lulz. Plus, when I cook I know that I am going to eat something I enjoy and it will be cooked to perfection.

Me and my wife do the same thing, whoever cooks doesn't deal with the dishes usually. We help each other out with everything though, aside from the laundry, I hate doing laundry

[sentrastace]

you are nice, decent boys
bill wise, everything we share, its 50/50.
however, i cook, i clean. he cooks and cleans like once a month lol. i cook every night/every other night, clean once a week, its frustrating.
i take the trash out.
we go grocery shopping together and split it, he refuses to go himself. rawr.
oh, and if i ask him to fix something, itll take him like 6 weeks to do it.
(he hates everything that takes effort) -.-

like i said, you guys are nice!

[Encryptshun]

(he hates everything that takes effort)

Including your relationship, apparently.

[AppleBonker]

(he hates everything that takes effort)

Including your relationship, apparently.

Make him work harder to get in your unders...

[Encryptshun]

That's assuming he works hard enough once he's in them...

[Kompresshun]

That's assuming he works hard enough once he's in them...

[AppleBonker]

[VMPhil]

Me and my wife do the same thing, whoever cooks doesn't deal with the dishes usually. We help each other out with everything though, aside from the laundry, I hate doing laundry

My wife does the Laundry except I fold socks\pair (she hates doing that) and I carry the Laundry basket up and down the stairs for her. I assist with the menial side of cooking (stirring stuff, making sure stuff doesn't burn, Chopping veggies etc.)Then dirty dishes get tossed into the dish washer. the only scrubbing I do is on the Pots and pans that cant go in the dish washer so it aint so bad.