Questions For the married couples out there.

[TurboSauce]

Lol, thanks for your views though everybody. I think I got the gist of it though, but carry on, people may have more to add.

[themadscientist]

There was also a point in time, in some regions, where legal marriage was promoted by government and by religious groups to encourage "good hygiene." That's code for "keeping the darkies from penetrating our pure white women." But that was a while ago.

lol at "pure white" White people are mutts. That's why we are prolific and lovable. Our noses are cold too, true story. It's almost as funny as modern Americans complaining about illegal immigrants destroying the country. I think the American Indians would agree and would love a do over.

I know I get the dirty looks from Japanese dudes when I'm out with my wife. Too bad chumps, get some game, or stop treating them like property, perhaps quit chasing schoolgirls?

[nissangirl74]

How is marriage beneficial to our society?
Why do many people prefer to co-habit than marry first?

1. Good marriages = Happier people
Happier people = less domestic violence
Less domestic violence = fewer emergency room visits for black eyes / broken bones
fewer emergency room visits for black eyes / broken bones = less $ taxpayers have to pay out for state subsidized care
less $ taxpayers have to pay out for state subsidized care = more money for beneficial programs
more money for beneficial programs = helps victims of domestic violence
fewer victims of domestic violence = happier people
happier people = good marriages
*People who get married for love and companionship, and not obligation and necessity, are happier, healthier, live longer, and have children who
typically also live healthier, happier lives.

2. Some people feel that a marriage certificate is equal to the "ball-and-chain". They feel like if they get married, all of their freedom is gone. Some people feel that if they get married and make it legal, if one decides to bail, a divorce would just be a nasty, long, expensive process. If you are just co-habitating, you can leave with no consequence or explanation. Some people just simply feel the need to figure out if they can live with each other before they decide that they can't live without each other.

[Jesda]

I'm a fan of the first 2 weeks of a relationship.



























Weekly rates are cheaper.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcYppAs6 ... re=related[/youtube]

[Bubba1]

I'm a fan of the first 2 weeks of a relationship.Weekly rates are cheaper.

. There are plenty of advantages to being married or single. Marriage is obviously not for everyone, but I think if/when you meet the right person. (cough***Mandy Moore***cough) I think you might think differently.

I agree many are infatuated with the concept of marriage, but sadly, too many are unprepared for the joint effort and commitment that goes along with it.

[Dattebayo]

Peter Cook on the subject of marriage

[IBCoupe]

I'm happily married. You have to have a certain personality and relationship for it to work. It's not for everyone and some people just shouldn't do it. I don't think they are cheating themselves out of much. The commitment part of marriage is in the mind and independent of a piece of paper stating the same.

Being areligious, marriage is more of a legal trapping to me and a public statement and celebration of my commitment to my wife. I would love her just as much and be just as dedicated to our partnership in life without a fancy ceremony.

My wife and I had our ceremony at the Hempstead, NY Town Hall. No fancy ceremony required - we had 11 guests.

[IBCoupe]

There really isn't a real core purpose to marriage (HOLD ON A MINUTE AND HEAR ME OUT BEFORE YOU GET ALL BUTTHURT AND ACT LIKE I HATE YOUR WIFE). Its a tradition and a social habit that's been passed on since what seems like forever. In this society it has a legal and economic role, brought on by government that involves itself in encouraging and enforcing the religious affairs of adults.

There was also a point in time, in some regions, where legal marriage was promoted by government and by religious groups to encourage "good hygiene." That's code for "keeping the darkies from penetrating our pure white women." But that was a while ago.

The modern iteration of marriage isn't bad, and arguably those who function well in a monogamous, legally committed relationship are healthier and more prosperous than those who don't, but the tradition itself doesn't have any inherent value. Its just that -- a tradition -- like thanksgiving or Christmas. We (by we I mean others) do it because it feels right based on our concept of what life should be about.

So there's my serious answer. You can all go back to picking on Dave now.

I'm in the rare exception where getting a marriage was absolutely required, or else our committed relationship would end when the government kicked her butt out. But, like I said, we're an exception.

[themadscientist]

Green card eh? I've been on the other side of that equasion.

[IBCoupe]

Yeah. We were planning on getting married anyways, but the length of time required for processing kind of helped along our decision as to timing.

[sentrastace]

this thread just made me really depressed. lol.

[themadscientist]

why?

[Bubba1]

why?

I was wondering the same thing...

[TurboSauce]

why?

I was wondering the same thing...

me too

[TurboSauce]

How is marriage beneficial to our society?
Why do many people prefer to co-habit than marry first?

1. Good marriages = Happier people
Happier people = less domestic violence
Less domestic violence = fewer emergency room visits for black eyes / broken bones
fewer emergency room visits for black eyes / broken bones = less $ taxpayers have to pay out for state subsidized care
less $ taxpayers have to pay out for state subsidized care = more money for beneficial programs
more money for beneficial programs = helps victims of domestic violence
fewer victims of domestic violence = happier people
happier people = good marriages
*People who get married for love and companionship, and not obligation and necessity, are happier, healthier, live longer, and have children who
typically also live healthier, happier lives.

2. Some people feel that a marriage certificate is equal to the "ball-and-chain". They feel like if they get married, all of their freedom is gone. Some people feel that if they get married and make it legal, if one decides to bail, a divorce would just be a nasty, long, expensive process. If you are just co-habitating, you can leave with no consequence or explanation. Some people just simply feel the need to figure out if they can live with each other before they decide that they can't live without each other.

Thanks Bex, about the only info i could use in this thread

[nissangirl74]

You're welcome, hope it helps.

[TOMMY VERCETTI]

Marriage is a job plain and simple.

[Bubba1]

Marriage is a job plain and simple.

Why?

[marlin29311]

I love how skewed the media has made everyone's view of marriage.

[Encryptshun]

How is marriage beneficial to our society?
Why do many people prefer to co-habit than marry first?

1. Good marriages = Happier people
*People who get married for love and companionship, and not obligation and necessity, are happier, healthier, live longer, and have children who
typically also live healthier, happier lives.

By saying this are you implying that, all else being equal, a married couple will be happier than a non-married couple?

[Bubba1]

By saying this are you implying that, all else being equal, a married couple will be happier than a non-married couple?

No, not all marriages. GOOD marriages, measured over the long haul, and its not exclusionary. It simply means based on the many studies out there comparing married to non-married folks, the ones in happy marriages have a tendency to fare better in those categories than those that are not. It does not mean that non-married couples, single people, or those in any other type of relationship are excluded from enjoying the same happiness.

[Encryptshun]

I guess I'm skeptical regarding any "objective" measurement of relative happiness. Who defines "good" versus "bad"?

[marlin29311]

I do. bow down.

[Bubba1]

I guess I'm skeptical regarding any "objective" measurement of relative happiness. Who defines "good" versus "bad"?

I would think any adult surveyed is capable of determining if they are happy or whether they are in a happy marriage or not.

[Encryptshun]

You didn't say "happy marriage". You said "good" marriage.

[Bubba1]

You didn't say "happy marriage". You said "good" marriage.

Is there that big a difference between the two?

[Encryptshun]

You didn't say "happy marriage". You said "good" marriage.

Is there that big a difference between the two?

There certainly could be. I could ask a hundred different happily-married couples how they define a "good" marriage versus a "bad" marriage and I'd get a hundred different answers.

I know interracial couples who have a very "good" and "happy" marriage, but if I asked other people if an interracial marriage was a 'good' marriage they'd say no.

I know couples with open relationships, who are married but who can date and sleep with whoever they want, who would say their marriage is EXCELLENT but many other people would say you can't have a good marriage and sleep with other people.

I know couples who would say they have a good marriage even though they don't have kids and I know other people who would say it's impossible to have a good marriage without children.

My point is still that Bex's comments made it sound like married couples are happier than unmarried couples even if both have equally "good" relationships. I think that whole statistical universe is way too subjective to be anything more than illustrative.

[Bubba1]

There certainly could be. I could ask a hundred different happily-married couples how they define a "good" marriage versus a "bad" marriage and I'd get a hundred different answers.

I know interracial couples who have a very "good" and "happy" marriage, but if I asked other people if an interracial marriage was a 'good' marriage they'd say no.

I know couples with open relationships, who are married but who can date and sleep with whoever they want, who would say their marriage is EXCELLENT but many other people would say you can't have a good marriage and sleep with other people.

I know couples who would say they have a good marriage even though they don't have kids and I know other people who would say it's impossible to have a good marriage without children.

My point is still that Bex's comments made it sound like married couples are happier than unmarried couples even if both have equally "good" relationships. I think that whole statistical universe is way too subjective to be anything more than illustrative.

I think you misinterpreted Bex's comments and you're making this far more complex than it really is. What other people consider about your marriage (such as interracial, open relationships, kids vs no kids) is irrelevent. To put it more simply, if you were given two choices about the state of your own marriage: happy vs unhappy, good or not good, you choose one. Most people have no trouble choosing one or the other when it comes to their own relationship.

And the bottom line is that of the people that respond that they are in happy or good marriages, many studies have shown that, among other things, that those people tend to live longer than those that that say they are in unhappy or bad marriages.
It's that simple. It obviously does not mean that everyone in a happy marriage lives longer. It just means there is a trend. That is not a shocking conclusion. It's about as shocking as learning that smoking a lotta cigarettes can increase your chances of getting lung or throat cancer. Doesn't mean you're guaranteed to get it if you smoke. And It has nothing to do with the type of cigarette you choose to smoke. It simply means your odds of getting it are higher if you smoke than if you dont smoke. I hope that makes sense.

[Encryptshun]

Yeah? Well....

Well....


Take this!




OP, to respond to your questions:

1) I don't think marriage is beneficial to our society. It is poorly defined, carries with it the propensity to both be protected and victimized by the government, and ultimately (with a divorce rate of over 50%) supports a pretty grimy industry centered around fighting over property and kids.

2) Co-habitation prior to marriage should, as far as I'm concerned, be mandatory before anyone is grated a marriage license. I don't believe you really know someone until you live with them.

[skydragoness]

I guess I'm skeptical regarding any "objective" measurement of relative happiness. Who defines "good" versus "bad"?