Need help with girls?

[Gaijin]

holy crap, i laughed so hard at this i cant see straight. i missed the hilarity of nala threads soo damn bad, i gotta start getting on here every day and follow this.

[numbnuts240]

Tito, did you actually meet this girl?

i did. and it doesn't take more than a little conversation during a first encounter to read a broad. we set the little ingrate up on a date, and he blew her off to play taxi. nala you little f*****, erase my number, don't ever seek advice again, and diaf. don't go to carlisle. it'll be a race between heavy and myself as to who punts you in the nads first.

[Bubba1]

i did. and it doesn't take more than a little conversation during a first encounter to read a broad. we set the little ingrate up on a date, and he blew her off to play taxi. nala you little f*****, erase my number, don't ever seek advice again, and diaf. don't go to carlisle. it'll be a race between heavy and myself as to who punts you in the nads first.

Tita, it's about time you and Heavy gave up on him, Welcome back from the Creepy side of the force.

Nala, these guys set you up on a date that looked promising for the loss of your virginity and you blew her off
???

[sbird1]

Nala, you sir, are the dumbest human being on the planet. You may be able to form sentences and make yourself sound intelligent, but I'm fairly confident that this is purely muscle memory, likened to teaching an elephant to paint. While your antics may provide humor for more evolved, intelligent people, you may want to stop now to limit the amount of future humiliation and whatnot. You represent what is wrong with America.

[krimsonviper]

OMG WIN. She messaged me and was like, wanna blaze?
I smoked with her and now she says shes coming to my room now! My friends says she may have an STD but i doubt it

n' this is y i miss NICO, wow....


jus wow

WHERE WAS THIS!?!? I MUST READ THE OTHER RESPONSES!!!

[MellowZ32]

in case he misses your post.

i did. and it doesn't take more than a little conversation during a first encounter to read a broad. we set the little ingrate up on a date, and he blew her off to play taxi. nala you little f*****, erase my number, don't ever seek advice again, and diaf. don't go to carlisle. it'll be a race between heavy and myself as to who punts you in the nads first.

[PoorManQ45]

Tito, did you actually meet this girl?

i did. and it doesn't take more than a little conversation during a first encounter to read a broad. we set the little ingrate up on a date, and he blew her off to play taxi. nala you little f*****, erase my number, don't ever seek advice again, and diaf. don't go to carlisle. it'll be a race between heavy and myself as to who punts you in the nads first.

Wow, I will say that you're a pretty cool dude for trying to help Nala out. Most people would not have done that.

It is unfortunate that he won't pull his head out of his butt to realize that everyone was trying to help him.

[tmeyer29]

boy oh boy, nala....everything about you is utterly and completely wrong.

[alms24sebring]

Its all good reading, but for a quick recap of this thread, just read my first post at the top of this page. Some fun Nala yuks also appear on page 8 when Nala randomly decides to post pics of himself again. Classic Nala.

Yes that post is the first thing that cought my eye.

No words can express shame. page 8 here I come

[alms24sebring]

..And I was not let down.

Nala I think this girl is too much drama for you anyways. Her 'boyfriend' is probly a muscular, pompous caveman that would be pissed and would kick your a$$ in a minute. Instead of these dumb b*tches that live on drama, try those girls that keep more to themselves. Dramatic women are almost always stupid and always start crap with other people for a thrill. However those quiet girls might have deep secrets that you can possibly, if you play your cards right, fulfill fully. I personally like those kinds of girls. Even though they are quiet they can have alot to talk about and are fun to discover and unveil. If you talk to these women, they can feel excited about telling somebody what they see in their lives. And no Im not talking about 300 pound fattys that eat cheeseburgers in the corner. There are plenty of girls like this, sexy girls, that wonder in my College. All you have to do is seek, talk, get # or email, eventually just ask her out of nowhere. If it works great, if not try again.

2nd. I know dam well that when every guy in here first got laid, they either couldn't get bonage, or was a 3 pump chump. It happened to me. Bubba1 gave great advise not just for you but for all men in here (thanks). So, you better eat that cooch atleast and make her juicy for you. If you stick it in after and happen to squirt early, just make up something stupid like 'yeah its been a while sorry. I got you next time'. I did that too, it works, but you HAVE to make up for it for a wild ride later on. Its not all about sex either, you have to atleast connect in some way. A drunk girl at a party isn't ganna want you for virgin 3 second 2 1/2 inch hard pen15. Shes drunk, she wants her p**** pounded right. Its not ganna make you feel good when your embarassed to hell, tells all her friends about Stephen Setts, the guy that fails hardcore, and you see her with another confident guy 20 minutes later going upstairs. Cooch feels really really really really really good the first time so be warned. Try and get a practice girls first atleast lol. You can only grow from there.

[Red coupe]

Her 'boyfriend' is probly a muscular, pompous caveman that would be pissed and would kick your a$$ in a minute.

NALA IS LIKE A BLACKBELT OR SOME s***.

[s0m3th1ngAZ]

This thread has convinced me nala is the most epic troll in the history of the internet. Or he has down syndrome. Whichever.

[poems2beats]

Honestly guys, some of the name calling and negative comments aren't even funny anymore. I'm sure its not doing his "confidence" any good.... Let's just sit back and let nala be nala. Maybe one day it will happen for him and if not... Well, we can sleep easier knowing there is no chance of nala making babies.

[MellowZ32]

This thread has convinced me nala is the most epic troll in the history of the internet. Or he has down syndrome. Whichever.

i'd go for the latter.

[Jesda]

Honestly guys, some of the name calling and negative comments aren't even funny anymore. I'm sure its not doing his "confidence" any good.... Let's just sit back and let nala be nala. Maybe one day it will happen for him and if not... Well, we can sleep easier knowing there is no chance of nala making babies.

Maybe he can avoid publicizing his idiocy.

[alms24sebring]

Her 'boyfriend' is probly a muscular, pompous caveman that would be pissed and would kick your a$$ in a minute.

NALA IS LIKE A BLACKBELT OR SOME s***.

O forrealz lol. well I knew there was some info I was missing but that was unexpected.

There's something for him, playfight with a female and "accidently" grab a boob... she might like it. And if she slaps you, you can karate chop her in the throat and then put her in the sleeper hold, but that is not recomended. Sleep fondling and/or rape is also not recomended.

Baby Nalas!!!

[Red coupe]

Honestly guys, some of the name calling and negative comments aren't even funny anymore. I'm sure its not doing his "confidence" any good.... Let's just sit back and let nala be nala. Maybe one day it will happen for him and if not... Well, we can sleep easier knowing there is no chance of nala making babies.

The thing is...

Maybe he can avoid publicizing his idiocy.

This.

There is an old saying...
If you don't want people to think your stupid, don't say stupid s***.

Look, if Nala was just out there being Nala and all this came from raiding his face book or e-stalking him I agree, it would be WAY over the line...

But he knows what is going to happen. He invites it. He offers it up.

If you spit in someones face your a d!ck.
If you tell them your going to spit in their face again, and they stand there and wait for it they deserve it.

What are you going to do when someone CHOOSES to get made fun of?
Its a big playground...walk away?

[Bubba1]

Nala, I'll keep this brief so maybe you;ll read it. There is a valuable lesson you have not yet learned.

"Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt"

In other words, we wouldn't think you were so creepy if you didn't share so much creepy detail. Unfortunately the damage is done here. But perhaps in the future, where people don't know you as well as we do, you'll think carefully before "exposing" too much of yourself.




Back to this thread, I had heard Nala attempted computer dating....

[Bubba1]

This.

There is an old saying...
If you don't want people to think your stupid, don't say stupid s***.

Sorry, Red Coupe, I didn't see your post when I typed mine. You beat me to it. I guess great minds think alike.

[poems2beats]

I think you guys misunderstood me a little bit. It's not like I think this whole thread is wrong. It just seems to me that SOME of the more recent post are a little mean spirited and not very funny.

[drksolest]

^ was funny!!!

[themadscientist]

Why is that not an acceptable answer?

[alms24sebring]

^ I dont know, beats me

[krimsonviper]

What kills me most of all (second to Nala-ism) is people still stroll in here, giving Nala advice! I can't palm my face hard enough!

[krimsonviper]

I should specify, that I'm talking about "good" advice. The advice on how to get him laid. Everything else to still be said and passed on like a dubee wrapped in strawberry zig zags.

[alms24sebring]

So what ever happened with that girl anyways?

[themadscientist]

Nala has her cut up in trash bags and is digging a hole to dump her in as we speak.

[MellowZ32]

While he listens to Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus!

[DJButton]

DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL IN BOSTON!!! Yikes, I have friends there, why was I not aware of this!? But seriously, wait... there is nothing serious about this.

[Jesda]

Nala has her cut up in trash bags and is digging a hole to dump her in as we speak.

Apparently he didn't realize my "J. Gulati's Guide to Dating and Blood Stain Removal" e-book was a parody.