****How to Shower Like a Woman****

[toyhouse]

****How to Shower Like a Woman****

-Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

-Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. -Look at your womanly physique in the mirror

-make mental note

-must do more sit-ups.

-Get in the shower.

-Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

-Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

-Wash your hair again to make sure its clean.

-Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

-Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.

-Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

-Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).

-Shave armpits and legs.

-Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

-Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.

-Turn off the shower.

-Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

-Spray mold spots with Tilex.

-Get out of shower.

-Dry with towel the size of a small country.

-Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

-Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.

-Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

-If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.

and ...

****How to Shower Like a Man**** -Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

-Walk naked to the bathroom.

-If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.

-Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut.

-Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ***.

-Fart.

-Get in the shower.

-Don bother to look for a washcloth (you don use one).

-Wash your face.

-Wash your armpits.

-Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

-Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

-Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.

-Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.

-Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

-Make a shampoo Mohawk.

-Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

-Pee(in the shower).

-Rinse off and get out of the shower.

-Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.

-Partially dry off.

-Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.

-Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

-Leave bathroom fan and light on.

-Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

-Throw wet towel on the bed.

-Get dressed in under two minutes.

-Fart.

[IvoryJ30t]

LOL at the guy shower part...

[Checkered-Member]

older then baby Jesus…but funny non the less

[Kaioshin1982]

hahaha first time reading that! very funny! thank you for making me smile! I was about to commit suicide coz i was so bored at work.

[SeVa-S13]

-Make a shampoo Mohawk.

Damn right.

[elwesso]

Haha..! I got a good laugh out of that one!!!

Perfectly documented!!!

[MainEvent212]

:ylsuper, i'll remember the shaking of the weiner when i get a wife

[themadscientist]

so I'm supposed to wash out the shampoo? *Mad starts to rethink wearing the shampoo mohawk to work* I was wondering why everyone was looking at me!

[Turb0wned]

lol

[-HyJynX-]

"woo-woo" lmao, hilarious

[themadscientist]

Oh boy I'm in trouble, they already asked me to stop that shaking my weiner at people thing. I got to work on my people skills:(

[Mr1der]

perhaps they need a man and woman taking a shower, just so we don't get mixed up...

[themadscientist]

no two women and me, I can be objective.

[Hijacker]

just whatever you do, leave the gay bar out of this experiment

[themadscientist]

I don't know how Gay guys shower but I'm sure there is a lot of soap dropping:eek:

[Hijacker]

we need to protect kenny's sweet virgin ***!

[Get240DiZzY]

I read this awile ago, but the one I read had parts about the man tasting his wifes soaps and shampoo's because if the names lke grapefruit and stuff.

Gotta love the woo-woo. It doesn't count unless you do it like Bubb Rubb, though.

[Mr1der]

masturbatlon and shampoo don't mix well...

fond memories of yelling "oh god it burns my peehole!"

conditioner is where it's at

now you know and knowing is half the battle!

YO JOE!

[AZhitman]

LMAO - Classic.

That's an oldie but a goodie.... Friggin' hilarious.

[IvoryJ30t]

1der needs to stop whacking off with the conditioner

[Mr1der]

dude, conditioner is better than lotion though, it doesn't leave an oily residue and leaves me moisturized!

where's Fred at? perhaps he can recommend a good dino or sythetic...

[themadscientist]

toothpaste is better, I'm a little into pain though, that's all I'm saying!:whipped

[Mr1der]

perhaps you should try baking soda, salt and vinegar and cracker crumbs you sick ****!

[IvoryJ30t]

why doesnt someone try a jellyfish.

[themadscientist]

I'm a little into pain though

"a little" M, yikes!

[IvoryJ30t]

coil pack nipple clamps huh?

[Mr1der]

good lord that'd be crazy, I've heard stories of coil packs killing people while they worked on them...

yikes...

[IvoryJ30t]

oh believe me, im not gonna test that little theory.

[SeVa-S13]

The cooling shave gel. Leaves the monster feeling cool and refreshed post-activity. Not that I've ever engaged in such immature and barbaric acts....

[Hijacker]

don't forget to drink some engine oil. it'll change the flavor of the discharge :lol: