I think I saw a cloud of white smoke once, probaly 30K miles ago, I had gotten on it pretty hard just before shutting it off (presumably avoiding an accident or a jerk, don't remember which). It uses the same amount of oil it used when I bought it with 42,881 miles (~½ quart in 3750 miles, possibly not consuming beyond that point regardless of miles [wouldn't know since I change the oil at that mileage]). Averaging >22.2MPG for that entire 97+K miles combined. That might be slowly dropping now, though, as my commute has changed from 100 miles a day with 18 possible stops (only 4 possible stops in the main 40 miles each way) to 36 miles a day with 16 possible stops (four 8-10 mile trips).
ETA: My oil consumption and mileage probably both have to do with the fact that I take out slower than your grandma most of the time and rarely get on it at all (and I've been driving the speed limit [55 where I'm at, not 70+] for the last 30K to boot, so the MPG might be closer to 21.5 if I had stuck with 8 over). Regarding that driving style, the 140K miles probably goes to show that rarely getting on the engine doesn't hurt it in spite of people saying "these engines were meant to be driven and if you baby them they'll break". :P