Fartty

[initial_jc]

I feel really fartty today.

Normally it wouldnt be a problem, when im alone, but im at work.

I share an office with an older lady 60ish, and im 21.I usually goto the bathroom every time i need to fart, But sometimes i let one slip in the office or sometimes i feel that the fart is follwing me all the way from the bathroom.

Do you have any tips, or ideas that i can try to cover up the smell?

btw the my farts are horrendous, they have been compared to smelling like the sewer or as if my stomach was rotting from the inside

[ADDirishboy]

I hear febreeze works wonders. Maybe a spray or 2 up the 'ole pooped would be beneficial to your cause.

[initial_jc]

the problem is that i wear colonge in the morning

and i dont want to carry a bottle with me

[initial_jc]

do you guys ever feel like the farts you lay stay in your clothes?

[skydragoness]

A few years ago my male friend actually ripped a horrendous one in the backseat of my friend's Impreza ...it smelled awful for about a week. At that time he was working at some catering place that put oil on just about everything.

[ADDirishboy]

I do feel that way sometimes. Actually, I just took a massive smelly dump. I ate a ton of really hot buffalo wings last night, and they just ignited my sphincter. Got any advice on how to put the fire out?

[initial_jc]

milk of magnesia works good but it's hard take

[leesredgt]

. Got any advice on how to put the fire out?

[RCA]

What works for me is eating something you don't usually eat.

If I have been eating junk food, I have oatmeal or I have been eating well I have junk food and my gas is gone. Also try a new protein shake brand for the first time and it gets rid of gas as well.

[ADDirishboy]

I feel like that could make things worse.....

[Chaotic_Warlord]

[Otto.]

This thread disturbs me.

[Infinitiguy19]

Better:

[Mr1der]

Blame it on the dog.

[NSR_s30]

Just let it rip.

[Loki]

I'm going to go ahead and forward this thread to your supervisor....

[Dattebayo]

Every time I get all farty I usually have to take a dump. Get in the head and start forcing it out.

[Axel Grungy]

If your having bad gas, change your diet. Obviously your body isn't liking what you're eating.

On a side note, did anyone see those fart deodorizer pads on pitchmen?? LOL get one of those.

[xtougelove]

febreze owns.

[xtougelove]

but spray it before you actually fart

[fijianrocket]

truly made my night lmao

[Dattebayo]

Learn you some facts on farts

[93coupe]

Learn you some facts on farts

Pretty interesting stuff there.

[dasoupdude]

Put a few scented Dryer Sheets betwixt your underwear and sphincter. Let em rip them, next thing you know you theres that smell of "spring feeling" with hint of methane.

[Bubba1]

I feel really fartty today.

Normally it wouldnt be a problem, when im alone, but im at work.

I share an office with an older lady 60ish, and im 21.I usually goto the bathroom every time i need to fart, But sometimes i let one slip in the office or sometimes i feel that the fart is follwing me all the way from the bathroom.

Do you have any tips, or ideas that i can try to cover up the smell?

btw the my farts are horrendous, they have been compared to smelling like the sewer or as if my stomach was rotting from the inside

You're a polite guy, some of my co-workers, will do the ol' train whistle movement with their arm when they feel a butt blast erupting. I had one coworker who used to walk by other's desk and lean up against their arm when he felt the urge to let one rip. I had another one that used to yell "time me" (to see how long he could make it rip)....

If you can't blame the fart on your co-worker, you might want to consider adjusting your diet to foods that don't result in so much swamp gas. Taco Bell wreaks havoc on my digestive system, so I very rarely eat there.

You could also discuss your digestive distress with your coworker. For all you know her sense of smell might be impaired to the point, your bowel blasts might not offend her.

Other ideas include keeping the door to the office open and you sitting closer to the door than she with a small fan under your desk pointing out. Of course your visitors might not enjoy the front assault on their nasal passages.

Good luck.

[OriginalWheelman]

Pepto helps me a lot of times.

[AZ89two4Tsx]

Usually when my farts smell that bad they come out a little wet. Like not physically anything liquid coming out (usually) but it probably has the same consistency of really humid air/mist.

Sometimes I feel like I need to use the "manpon" technique so it doesn't leak through.

[schanne]

Just let it rip.

Thats what I say! I have a really bad gas problem all the time. Except I'm proud of what my butt does.

[Chaotic_Warlord]

As long as they are SBD's you could always blame it on the vents, but you have to play it off smooth. Fart, then be like "hey do you smell something?" if she says no, then you can just play it off like nothing happened, if she says yes, then you say something along the lines of " there must be a dead mouse in the air conditioning vents ".

[Bubba1]

Thats what I say! I have a really bad gas problem all the time. Except I'm proud of what my butt does.

I'm not sure those downwind from you would share your pride...