Cyber Sex

[Jookmasta]

make this thread a sticky!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol lmao lol lmao

[soilwork240sx]

im surprised laurel hasnt posted in this again. maybe shes having another cyber date!!

[Nathan]

Mmmmm, 3D girlfriends are so much better! KS Honda Killer, dont feel bad...as long as theirs grass on the field, play ball

[Touchdown038]

Definitely the best thread I've read in quite a while. And although I had read it before, Toahk's story made me laugh.

I figured a thread like this would get flames from all directions, but then I saw Laurel started it, and then I realized she has all the NICO guys in the palm of her hand, cherishing her every word

[240nismo]

You all do realize that this is an enormous sausage party and a waste of time... the only woman we should be thinking about is Silvia:)She's a huge $lut, she's done us all good

[Jookmasta]

:Werd

[S14Life]

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 **** of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty ***** of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't ***** with me *****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****. bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja: Baby?

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bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They *****ing charge your ***. j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ***. bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3: thats it. bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

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BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the *****, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh **** BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie p0rn you ***** up. eminemBNJA: Oh **** eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

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bloodninja: Wanna cyber?Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.(pause)Katie_007: is that it?bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?(pause)bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this **** is HOTT.Katie_007: ...bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.Katie_007: What the ***** is this madlibs? I'm outta here.bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.Katie_007: whatever

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Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch. Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay. Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll. Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough. Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty. Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good. Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh. Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ***. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm. Sarah19fca: you like that? Bloodninja: I peel some bananas. Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those? Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark. Sarah19fca: Peanuts? Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh. Sarah19fca: What are you talking about? Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats. Sarah19fca: This is stupid. Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer. Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold? Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh. Sarah19fca: /ignore Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a ***** anyway. Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

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Bloodninja:Wanna cyber? DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-) DirtyKate:Who are you? Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate:I want everything, baby! Bloodninja:Is this a delivery? DirtyKate:Umm...Yes DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. **pause** DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza. Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though **pause** DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now. Bloodninja:How did you know? Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate:What the f**k? DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t DirtyKate:F**k

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Hahahahahah

[S13 Power]

LMAO!!!

Too Good.

[Touchdown038]

Quite possibly the longest post in NICO HISTORY! And quite possibly the funniest.

[LaureltheQueen]

hmmm... i was heavily buzzed when i posted that. I do in fact have a 3d boyfriend though. Haha, I'm ageek.

[krazy skwerel]

I think the second one with brittney was most amuzing. :batman

[K1LLA916K]

hmm ive done i twice when i was 14...still young and inexperienced with the female counterpart. and then my attention turned to my cousins penthouse magazines. which later turned into a few websites from back in the days. which later turned into skipping freshman year of high school once a month to go watch a p0rn movie with a couple of homiez while sitting around drinking coke and eating popcorn. and then came bonnie...enough said.

[killacas]

I don't know Laurel. But strange enough now I want to. :p

[WDRacing]

ehh.... Cyber is for 13 yr olds.... Laurel, if you want the real deal... call me... :naughty

Or old guys who like 13yr olds......I'm a certified dirty old bastard.

From this mods POV, excellent thread. Without the internet where would be...

WD

[gibbo80]

this is hilarious

[SHIFTrl240]

thank you for helping me to waste the past 10 mins of my life by reading this..... even though it was pretty funny.

[AZhitman]

That rhinoceros thing was funny as hell! LMAO....

I never knew this kind of crap went on on the Internet... No wonder society is so unproductive... LOL.

[InstantRice]

this may have been the funniest post in nico history.

[Dano]

this thread is gay, should be closed, but Toahk's post was hilarious...

-Dan

[JohnI3laze]

I am ashamed to admit I laughed at some of this garbage. This whole thread is exactly why these boards are going slowly downhill. And yes I do have a sense of humor, I just don't usually come to NICO to use it.

[Touchdown038]

On the contrary, I think a little sense of humor is what these boards need. We have a great community here, but there have been times where I wish that there was a little more brought up besides cars.

[Jookmasta]

excellent thread, but i think the first one cyber story post has the second one beat hands down

[float_6969]

Second story has my vote. I've seen the first one before. We should put a poll up to vote this as the funniest thread in NICO history!!! I'm LMAO!

[Jookmasta]

:Werd

[Josh]

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

LOL

Yeah, the second one was the best... The first was pretty funny though.

[implict]

wow.

[skydragoness]

ah. now i remember why i don't go in the 240sx general chat often. :P

[SWIFT_DRIFT]

ah. now i remember why i don't go in the 240sx general chat often. :P

exactly. one of the biggest post-whoring threads in a while.

[Touchdown038]

exactly. one of the biggest post-whoring threads in a while.

Relax, we're just having a little fun. Lighten up a little bit.

[Anand]

trust me this is not one of the biggest post whoring thread.. this comes in somewhere in the middle...