Would you?
Okay, this one hits a little close to home for me. I'm a single father, my 2 boys live with me and visit their mom every other weekend.
AND what I find hard to believe is how few women are willing to date a guy with kids.
I've dated some both with and without and had friends date both w/ & w/out. The one piece of advice I offer is, that date the person, don't "meet" the kid(s) until you've decided whether you want to date the person. There are going to be times when you and the other person hit it off, but the bigger picture doesn't work. For example, I dated a very nice woman for nearly 2 years and she was fine with the kids and everything. As the relationship progressed to us talking about marriage she came to the decision that she wouldn't/couldn't be the step-mom or live knowing there was always going to be an ex-wife around b/c of the kids. We talked about it and I still have strong feelings for her and admiration for the mature way she handled everything and that we talked about it.
Over the last year I've had one woman that I have dated off and on who that b/c she was "willing" to put up with the fact that I had kids I should see her as a saint. IMHO, no man or woman should be given "credit" for being willing to date someone with kids.
Okay, starting to rambble, cause I've got tons of thoughts/opinions on this.
In short date the person, don't even meet the kids until you decide you'd like to date "long term".
AND what I find hard to believe is how few women are willing to date a guy with kids.
I've dated some both with and without and had friends date both w/ & w/out. The one piece of advice I offer is, that date the person, don't "meet" the kid(s) until you've decided whether you want to date the person. There are going to be times when you and the other person hit it off, but the bigger picture doesn't work. For example, I dated a very nice woman for nearly 2 years and she was fine with the kids and everything. As the relationship progressed to us talking about marriage she came to the decision that she wouldn't/couldn't be the step-mom or live knowing there was always going to be an ex-wife around b/c of the kids. We talked about it and I still have strong feelings for her and admiration for the mature way she handled everything and that we talked about it.
Over the last year I've had one woman that I have dated off and on who that b/c she was "willing" to put up with the fact that I had kids I should see her as a saint. IMHO, no man or woman should be given "credit" for being willing to date someone with kids.
Okay, starting to rambble, cause I've got tons of thoughts/opinions on this.
In short date the person, don't even meet the kids until you decide you'd like to date "long term".
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shindrifter
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I probably can't date a girl with a kid too much of a headache. I say think way ahead, see if you're financially set before jumping the gun.My cousin married a girl with a kid and he looks like hell at first. He's used to it now but, I'm pretty sure he'll have a hard time when that kid becomes a teen and inflict some major emotional scars. Try to lecture them and they might just spit that "You're not my father" BS at you and all hell break loose. But than I'm always the kind of guy that stars from scraps, so I live my life that way. From the bottom up no short cuts and alot of hard work, besides the college funds don't just roll in by themselves. That's my 2 cents.
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Stoneage_Turbo
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Just about anything
if they have kids there ususly too hung up on the dude that knocked them up to be attracted on any level (outside finacing) to rebound boy , seems to be the trend , i used to be open minded about that kinda thing but not anymore (hope she has a lovely life), its really bad when you finnaly have enough of her crud and things just dont work out.... bad when you liked the kid and the girl , im sure even worse on the kid
in otherwords she'll have bagage and the kids will too..... and im not skycap
in otherwords she'll have bagage and the kids will too..... and im not skycap
Mike, ditto. It's true that when you've had enough, it never ends pleasantly. My friend, who came from a divorced mother and father, married a single mother(divorced), who also came from a divorced family. I see a trend here.
Bet you can't guess what happened...they had enough of each other, and she took him to the cleaners. Get this...In WA state, if you marry and then divorce a single mother, you can be ordered by the judge to pay child support for the kid.
Misconceptions aside, I bet if you told my buddy he would have to pay child support for a kid he didn't create, he would have never EVER even dated this broad. He *could* be a deadbeat and skip town and not pay her a dime, like the kid's dad did. Oh well, I guess it's ok that he has to give her money for the next 13 friggin years until the girl is 18. Yeah, good idea.
Bet you can't guess what happened...they had enough of each other, and she took him to the cleaners. Get this...In WA state, if you marry and then divorce a single mother, you can be ordered by the judge to pay child support for the kid.
Misconceptions aside, I bet if you told my buddy he would have to pay child support for a kid he didn't create, he would have never EVER even dated this broad. He *could* be a deadbeat and skip town and not pay her a dime, like the kid's dad did. Oh well, I guess it's ok that he has to give her money for the next 13 friggin years until the girl is 18. Yeah, good idea.
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Thee 240sx Owner
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How can you not know what a MILF is... If she was one then i would say yes.. if not.. then there must be a reason why she is single and has a kid... so i would say no.... and if there is more then one kid and she's living on gov aid.. then hell no cuz that shows she doesn't have the attitude of making it on her own....
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Stoneage_Turbo
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Just about anything
Wouldn't it have just been easier to tell me what MILF is? One person said it was Mother I'd like to ****. It's not a big deal, but its annoying when people throw around terms or acronyms (sp?) and not know what they mean.RacinDa240sx wrote:How can you not know what a MILF is... If she was one then i would say yes.. if not.. then there must be a reason why she is single and has a kid... so i would say no.... and if there is more then one kid and she's living on gov aid.. then hell no cuz that shows she doesn't have the attitude of making it on her own....
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Thee 240sx Owner
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