please help a NICO man out on what to do

[TorQue45]

I am so depressed now. I found out this weekend that my wife is cheating on the net. I still love her, but I don't know what to do

I know this is not the place to talk about this kind of issue, but I just don't know where to turn to.

[Altiman94]

cheating, liek talking to other men, or actually hooking up with them? Sorry, I'd just like to clarify so I can offer a lil more advice and support.

[Repo Man]

You mean using the net to hook up in real life? If this is the case, get offline and seek help in person. Best of luck man.

[NICOmom]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Whether she is cheating in real life or having a relationship via the internet, it is still a painful situation. My heart goes out to you. Marriage is a very precious thing that some take for granted. I recommend seeking counseling. People do not seek comfort, sex or love from others outside of their marriage for no reason. As painful as it sounds, it takes two to make and to break a marriage. If your wife is seeking fulfillment from someone else, it means she is not getting it from you. Counseling can help you both identify what is missing from your marriage. It can also help you to forgive and heal eachother.

My blessings and prayers are with you in this time,

Nico Mom

[Altiman94]

well, I agree with NICOmom on this one. I'd say get some professionaly counseling for the both of you if possible. Good thing AZ got her on here giving us poor souls advice on life eh?

[jdmfreak]

OOOOOHHHHHHHHH So this is Greg's wife? He better watch what he say's now. j/k

Yea, you definately confront her and seek counseling to try and save the marriage.

[szh]

Agreed! If you want to save the marriage, then you both need to seek counselling asap. No delays to let anything fester.

Z

[BadMojo]

Agreed! If you want to save the marriage, then you both need to seek counselling asap. No delays to let anything fester.

Another vote for counseling here, too!

Good luck, man.

[yashin]

Leave her. Plain and simple. Nothing worst than a woman who cheats. A cheating woman can never, ever, ever be trusted. Kick her *** out the door. If she did it before she will do it again. I don't know you but, you're to good for her. I have not patience for women who cheat on their husbands.

[-HyJynX-]

How old are you? how long have you been married/seeing each other? Do you happen to listen/know Tom Leykis?

[OneFastStanza]

I am sorry to hear about your situation but I agree with Yashin. I personally don't believe I could ever trust someone that would cheat on me but I would say at a minimum I would look into counciling. I wish you the best.

[Fenvy]

if she's not happy with you, you better find out what's wrong, whether it be something of you or her

[MaineExport]

People do not seek comfort, sex or love from others outside of their marriage for no reason.

I agree with everything you have said... including this statement.

BUT... her "reasons" may have nothing to do with him. Some people are inherently flawed. Also, some people have issues from childhood or adolescence that leave them feeling like they need affirmation and validation EVERYWHERE they can get it. In such a case, even a perfect husband/wife cannot fulfill the cheating party's insatiable "need." Although... the same solution will apply... counseling!

Hitman... no wonder you're such a great guy... with a wife like this... you must have done something right in life!

[Jesda]

Drop her like a bad habit. Everyone is flawed but some flaws hurt others. Thats when they become inexcusable.

[Megaseth]

I know a good Hitman....

[f1seb]

1 more vote to kick her *** outside the door. If she was sooo unhappy in the marriage then she would've served you the divorce papers already. Why would she be sticking around and cheating on you at the same time. She probably likes the security you bring her, plus the fun she can have on the side. No 2nd chances to people like that I say. If you can be faithful then why can't she. Get the divorce papers and a lawyer so she doesn't get half of your life since she doesn't deserve it.

[I H8 UR DSM]

i think a more clearly representation of what 'cheating on the net' means...cybersex? because that might come down to not being much different than watching porno and masturbating, which 'most' people dont consider cheating ( i know some do....weirdo's ; ) lol) but to me, the original post sounded like he was saying , cheating online, like maybe she's talking and flirting online or something, which in my opinion can be resolved and fixed w/ counseling...there is too much divorce in this world, so i think we need a clearer explaination of the circumstance

[I H8 UR DSM]

now if she's sending and recieving nude pics, that may bring in another discussion, but i still dont know if thats the same as really cheating...shrug

[TorQue45]

Thank you all for your conforts and responses. You guys are the best and the coolest. I am 33 and have been married to her for 6 years. My marriage has up and down, but mostly up. I would never suspect she would do anything to hurt me. I ran across a program called 007 spy software, which monitor every keystroke. I installed on friday and when I checked on saturday morning, I can't believe what I am reading. My heart is pounding like a drum. I was in shock. She was cyber-sex. She only started doing this for two weeks now. I confronted her about it, but she denied everything. until I showed her everything. She admited and say she was sorry and that she never do it again. she didn't mean to hurt me and she was just flirting. lately I am so busy with work that I don't pay much attention to her, that's how it started. I told her I forgave her and that she and I have to see counselling. She agree to it.

She has never doing anything like this before, so I will give her a second change.

Thank you again for all your replies

[jdmfreak]

Good!!! I hope thing work out for the better.

[Nathan]

Good people can make mistakes at times. I know that her having cyber sex was probably very troubling to you (rightfully so) but it sounds like it can be resolved. Especially if ya'll have had a good relationship up until this point. I dont think counseling would be a bad idea, but I think she really needs some good ol' fashion lovin to get her headed back in the right direction. My task for you is clear, go rattle some headboards

[TorQue45]

I so confuse on what to do with her now. I checked her cell phone today and found out she called the guy. I confronted her and she denied, but then she admitted. I am so pissed now. She told me that the reason she called was to appoligize to the guy. She told me this morning that she promised not to contact him again, but she did the opposite. I don't think I can ever trust her again. Do you think her reason to call the guy is reasonable?

[jdmfreak]

An apology to him??? I see no reason for this, but why dont you ask her what she was apologizing to him for. That way you may get a motive. IDK wha else to tell you right now except that you have 2 options.

1) Hurry up and get counsuling and get to the root of the problem so you can possibly save the marriage.2) Divorce. I can tell you dont wanna do this but it might be the only solution.

GOOD LUCK.

[Megaseth]

wow, if she denies her calling him, and all she was doing was "apologizing" to him, what for i dunno, then shes untrustable.

[UncleBen]

Nice work, good to see things may work out for the best. Good luck.

[Jesda]

Your foot + Her *** + The door = Your sanity and well-being.

Im dead serious. Do not waste the rest of your young life on selfish people.

-Jesda

[elwesso]

Its a sad situtaion, but Im gonna have to agree with Jesda.....

[Megaseth]

Like i said, i know a good Hitman.

[audtatious]

Sorry for you to have to go through this. I suggest you start looking around more. Check phone bills to see if she has ever called that number before or others at odd times of the night/day. To me, it is fishy that she had someones number that she was simply having cybersex with. I would assume that is NOT the norm. If the number she called is local, you can be assured they have probably met up before and you cannot simply turn a blind eye to it.

[Nathan]

Sadly, audtatious is right...the call to him today raises the possibility of them being more intimate than merely a random internet fling. I would discretely investigate the matter further before accusing her of anything more while simultaneously trying to find out what you can do to make her happier. I am of the opinion that it still might be salvageable, but its going to take worth on both parties part. Perhaps she needs a reminder of the GOOD things in ya'lls marriage as well. Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, you could always trace his address down through the cell phone and go take care of business