THis is a specific rambling about my life in general im sure alot of you guys dont even relaly know me hell ive only been on one verbal fight here on the forums and after that we hugged and made up haha.
But anyways i guess this time around its about why im feeling sad all of a sudden i assume its because im bored or tired... but who knows.
I took my engine in to get rebuilt and now I have nothing to aspire to whiel they work on it I guess My hobbies keep me hapy and busy since I dont have a girlfriend. But since my hobby is on hold for amonth whiel I wait for my engine im questioning my real needs. I figure that Ive been without a girlfrienda for about 5 years. I suppose its because im shy with chicks I have plenty of friends that are girls but I dont have any balls to ask any out. and anyways most of them have boyfriends / my good good pals. SO I ponder how long it will take before i receive an interest from a female party now, tomorrow, never?
I guess what im looking for here is comfort on some level i dont have anyone to converse with right now everyone is alseep. Otherwise I would talk to my good budies online.. but im so confused I want to go to school but I want to finish my car I want a girlfriend but im to scared to talk with girls. Maybe I should shed some light to my feelings with women.. I had a girlfriend who promised me everything in the world now by everything i mean devotion and love which is basically everything you need .. she ended up cheating on me and dumping me so now I dont trust girls and I dont ask them or talk to them directly unless I know them through a friend. I dont have the guff to ask them out aor anything but my real pradicament is the fact that maybe my car hobby is in breach of my women? I partially dont ask them out becaus ei would rather spend money on my car than going out. Although for a 19 year old I make plenty of dough.
I jsut dont seem to be a ladies man. I tell you what living in a small community gives you zero options. I think im going bald .. I am unhappy with my teeth I just dont feel good.. I cant sweat ... I dont cry.. I have asthma.. I have allergies that are horrendous.. I have no help.. I have no love.. all I have is myself.. I like myself but I dont enjoy my company infront of a mirror...
im so confused.. I wish iI knew the future.. I wish I had someone to reach out to.. my family is cool but they know how much i share my independance from them but I guess im looking for a different kind of love from an outside source .. something fresh and new I know my parents to well and honestly I dont want to be them when I grow up but i dont mind their personality at all hell I resemble them. I love them but I cant be close to them I feel like I need a breathe of fresh air. But I can im gulping liek a fish my allergies kill me.
All I have is myself and my daily routine what am iI to do.. I dont liek clubbing or dancing I prefer conversations that get my mind stirred up liek a whirlwind nobody is like me I guess I wish there was a person who thoguth the exact same way I did... I could talk to them for hours and hours all the girls here from what I can tell are superficial and shallow they only date guys for their clothing or cars which is why I am workin gon my car.. but I dont want to be trapped into something superficial my heart doesnt have the strength.. I dont know what to do now ..
I dont mind what your response is as long as its not negative this post is real not BS please dont be to mean ...
No balls at alls
I was about as bad off as you, I've had 3 or 4 "relationships" in my life (computer nerd 
) and ALL of them have ended in them cheating on me. It makes you bitter and afraid of them evil womens! BUT it was my personality that shinned through all of this, and everyone came to know me as a nice guy. Girls say they want nice guys, some actually do beleive it or not. College is good and all, but if you are like me, you aren't exactly ready for it, and going to college just to get chicks is.....stupid to say the least (no offense, but at 10k a year, just buy lots of strippers!).
You should go looking for a girl, but the type of girl you need probably will not be turned on by you going up to her and hitting on her. The girl you need is going to be swayed by kindness and generosity and the fact that you are a good person. Because THAT is the kind of girl who won't cheat on you. THAT is the kind of girl who will love you (granted your not an *******).
) and ALL of them have ended in them cheating on me. It makes you bitter and afraid of them evil womens! BUT it was my personality that shinned through all of this, and everyone came to know me as a nice guy. Girls say they want nice guys, some actually do beleive it or not. College is good and all, but if you are like me, you aren't exactly ready for it, and going to college just to get chicks is.....stupid to say the least (no offense, but at 10k a year, just buy lots of strippers!). You should go looking for a girl, but the type of girl you need probably will not be turned on by you going up to her and hitting on her. The girl you need is going to be swayed by kindness and generosity and the fact that you are a good person. Because THAT is the kind of girl who won't cheat on you. THAT is the kind of girl who will love you (granted your not an *******).
s13EastTN wrote:You should go looking for a girl, but the type of girl you need probably will not be turned on by you going up to her and hitting on her. The girl you need is going to be swayed by kindness and generosity and the fact that you are a good person. Because THAT is the kind of girl who won't cheat on you. THAT is the kind of girl who will love you (granted your not an *******).
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hannibal
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Man, be yourself. As the girls get smarter and realize its not about 'game', they'll be looking for guys like you.I think its good that youre not willing to compromise yourself to just to get the girl. If she cant see and appreciate what you have to offer, then you dont want her anyway. Trust me, no relationship is better than a bad relationship.And dont be afraid to be by yourself. ALONE and LONELY arent the same thing.
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masticatingcow
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I can understand why you'd be frustrated... I mean, it doesn't seem fair. But to tell the truth, often times we guys mistake such a situation as bad luck or the result of a lack of confidence... as if our lack of socialibility is our own fault, that WE are to BLAME for "something like this."
We look around at many of our friends and see them with girls, and later, we sometimes hear of their "exploits" and "conquests." Your situation is less equitous, to be sure. Being surrounded by "chick" friends is NOT the same things as been surrounded by "girl" friend(s).
But remember that a quality relationship is not built on physical attraction, nor even having similiar interests. Any strong relationship is built on being friends first and lovers second. I don't mean that sequentially, of course, but that should the "love" relationship become rocky, a strong couple always has their friendship to fall on.
So where am I going with this? Well, for starters, being friends with a bunch of girls gives you insight into the way they think about themselves, about each other, and on many occasions, probably the way they think about you. Having this perspective grants you a sensitivity to the "feminine" mind, a trait that will no doubt be more attractive than the ability to dance or even have a ripped body or be hung or any of that other crap. While it would be foolish to assume that those other things are completely unimportant to women, those that are interested in a PARTNERSHIP will value your sensitivity and openess to understand OVER them. While it might seem funny, the truth is that a woman who wants a partner (not a f***-buddy) will be more accepting of your limitations, natural and imposed, and prove to be the type of girl you need.
Also, being sensitive to your partner's needs will draw women who will be sensitive to YOUR needs. I know it can be difficult to trust after your heart is broken; trust me brother, we've ALL been there. Developing trust is the most important part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise... Most of the women I know who look for "guys that actually care" (their exact words) aren't looking for a guy they can vent to, but one that they can learn to TRUST, and one that will learn to trust them.
One of my favorite movie quotes came from "Abrase los Ojos," a foreign film that was remade into "Vanilla Sky." I think the quote made it into Vanilla Sky, but I can't be sure... it's "Cada día es otra ocasión de darle vuelta todo alrededor" -- "Every day is another chance to turn it all around." And it's true. So when you're ready, jump in and start looking for that quality girl... she's out there, I gaurentee it.
We look around at many of our friends and see them with girls, and later, we sometimes hear of their "exploits" and "conquests." Your situation is less equitous, to be sure. Being surrounded by "chick" friends is NOT the same things as been surrounded by "girl" friend(s).
But remember that a quality relationship is not built on physical attraction, nor even having similiar interests. Any strong relationship is built on being friends first and lovers second. I don't mean that sequentially, of course, but that should the "love" relationship become rocky, a strong couple always has their friendship to fall on.
So where am I going with this? Well, for starters, being friends with a bunch of girls gives you insight into the way they think about themselves, about each other, and on many occasions, probably the way they think about you. Having this perspective grants you a sensitivity to the "feminine" mind, a trait that will no doubt be more attractive than the ability to dance or even have a ripped body or be hung or any of that other crap. While it would be foolish to assume that those other things are completely unimportant to women, those that are interested in a PARTNERSHIP will value your sensitivity and openess to understand OVER them. While it might seem funny, the truth is that a woman who wants a partner (not a f***-buddy) will be more accepting of your limitations, natural and imposed, and prove to be the type of girl you need.
Also, being sensitive to your partner's needs will draw women who will be sensitive to YOUR needs. I know it can be difficult to trust after your heart is broken; trust me brother, we've ALL been there. Developing trust is the most important part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise... Most of the women I know who look for "guys that actually care" (their exact words) aren't looking for a guy they can vent to, but one that they can learn to TRUST, and one that will learn to trust them.
One of my favorite movie quotes came from "Abrase los Ojos," a foreign film that was remade into "Vanilla Sky." I think the quote made it into Vanilla Sky, but I can't be sure... it's "Cada día es otra ocasión de darle vuelta todo alrededor" -- "Every day is another chance to turn it all around." And it's true. So when you're ready, jump in and start looking for that quality girl... she's out there, I gaurentee it.
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masticatingcow
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s13EastTN wrote:You should go looking for a girl, but the type of girl you need probably will not be turned on by you going up to her and hitting on her. The girl you need is going to be swayed by kindness and generosity and the fact that you are a good person. Because THAT is the kind of girl who won't cheat on you. THAT is the kind of girl who will love you (granted your not an *******).
:bsface
Don't think about your relationship 5 years ago when you were 14(?). I'm looking for something substantial just like you, but it's not like I'm actively seeking it, also like you. I kind of act uninterested in girls, like I have a girlfriend (many girls have told me this is the vibe they get from me). Confidence is the key. Girls want what they don't think they can have, they don't want what's readily available. If you see or know of a girl you may be interested in, you can introduce yourself and ask her something about herself.
Wow Im surprised guys I was originally going to avoid this post for ever but my curiousity for the amount of replies built up to much. I was afraid I was going to get ragged quite a bit. But it seems that alot of us have so much in common I guess as male counterparts we share certain experiances even if the persons are far from eachother I think we all have gone through similar experiences. I appreciate all of your responses I trust alot of you more than I do with people I live near. I guess you could consider this a frat / sorority lol mixed dishes.
As for insight into the women psyche, I guess you could say that I do infact have this trait because Ive been surrounded by them alot. However I guess I look alot older than 19 or so, everyone that I meet that isnt above 40 thinks Im older than them. I guess its because I come off mature to them in the sense of how I approach situations or converse. But I dont think Alot of the females around where I live are NOT looking for a smart older thinking individual. Hell I can still joke with the best of them but, I just appear as more of a father figure to them I figure.
I assume the growing population of female persons wwould be concentrated in the school. However I guess I shall bide my time until I figure out what I want to do in my life. I have no clue .. I can repair a PC with a certain ease, I can converse about equity and house refinancing compitantly, I can repair cars but I dont like getting dirty because of my other symptoms mentioned above. However nothing appeases me in any situation to be doing that for a job.
Its as if I cant win with myself. I am far from commiting suicide if that reconciles any of your fears. I just cant win with my mind. The only thing that excites me is the challenge to fix something.
Your comments got me right off the whole girl subject I jsut felt really lonely last night.. just wanted someone to hug I guess and tell how my day was.
But time progresses and Im sure I will my journey into life is only short lived I cant stop here I must take the first step towards a victorious path and I thank all of you for guiding me, either small or large comments, everything impacted greatly.
As for insight into the women psyche, I guess you could say that I do infact have this trait because Ive been surrounded by them alot. However I guess I look alot older than 19 or so, everyone that I meet that isnt above 40 thinks Im older than them. I guess its because I come off mature to them in the sense of how I approach situations or converse. But I dont think Alot of the females around where I live are NOT looking for a smart older thinking individual. Hell I can still joke with the best of them but, I just appear as more of a father figure to them I figure.
I assume the growing population of female persons wwould be concentrated in the school. However I guess I shall bide my time until I figure out what I want to do in my life. I have no clue .. I can repair a PC with a certain ease, I can converse about equity and house refinancing compitantly, I can repair cars but I dont like getting dirty because of my other symptoms mentioned above. However nothing appeases me in any situation to be doing that for a job.
Its as if I cant win with myself. I am far from commiting suicide if that reconciles any of your fears. I just cant win with my mind. The only thing that excites me is the challenge to fix something.
Your comments got me right off the whole girl subject I jsut felt really lonely last night.. just wanted someone to hug I guess and tell how my day was.
But time progresses and Im sure I will my journey into life is only short lived I cant stop here I must take the first step towards a victorious path and I thank all of you for guiding me, either small or large comments, everything impacted greatly.
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MainEvent212
- Posts: 4182
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are you fat? cuz that could pose a problem...hit the gym, it will help...it will also help you relieve stress and frustration...not that i'd know, unfortuantely i got myself a GF (only god knows how) before i got to that stage, so i'm still chubby and i cant even kick my own ***...but good luck to ya
anotehr thing might be to start hanging out w/ new people, dont worry about it in the way of talkng to girls...think of it as talking to people...you'll come off alot smoother that way
anotehr thing might be to start hanging out w/ new people, dont worry about it in the way of talkng to girls...think of it as talking to people...you'll come off alot smoother that way
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skydragoness
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92' 240sx 60k survivor :) - Location: North DFW, TEJAS
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skydragoness5 wrote:MasticatingCow, Iwannas15, and Anand all have it RIGHT on.
:Werd
Being yourself goes a long way
Indeed. Confidence is usually pretty obvious and gives off a strong vibe, but so is trying too hard to be what you arent.
In the meantime, join groups or clubs if necessary; actively expand your circle of people.
And for the love of God, dont settle for less.
-Jesda
RMiller wrote: I kind of act uninterested in girls, like I have a girlfriend (many girls have told me this is the vibe they get from me). Confidence is the key. Girls want what they don't think they can have, they don't want what's readily available. If you see or know of a girl you may be interested in, you can introduce yourself and ask her something about herself.
masticatingcow wrote: "Every day is another chance to turn it all around." .
i agree to all of these and these i think are the high light of the thread that caught my eye.
also just ask a girl out/ get info etc, and if she not interested there's alway another one a head.
And if it make you feel any better im also trying to get this part of my life handle as well, because from my developemental psychology class my teacher said that
=====REPRODUCTIOn======= is the GOAL in LIFE.
think about it. the only reason your fixing your car is get get babes...... working out to look good so you can get babes......survival or eat so you can have energy to get babes/ have sex.... GETTIng good clothes to impress chick to get chicks... etc.....
SO instead of building model/ pc just try go out an make something happen..... GET CHICKS!!!!!
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krazy skwerel
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I thought for a while that maybe all life was about was reproduction, but honestly if it is then how sad is that? I don't work on my car just to get women. i work on it cause it is fun. I like to have a fun car. I don't listen to certain music just for women. they don't like my music thats their opinion. Peoplewho live just for sex truly are missing out on life. Just my thoughts.
I am not saying I don't do things to impress wmen. Just that everything I do is not to impress women.
I am not saying I don't do things to impress wmen. Just that everything I do is not to impress women.
i agree but my point is that the purpose of living is to reproduce, other than that the rest is just gravy. i mean yes there are things we do because we just enjoy doing them, but the main reason why were here is because our ancestor fulfilled their job to reproduce and die. if that did not happen then no one on this planet would be alive today.
Don't get me wrong though, cause there's nothing wrong with doing thing that you like doing.... for me it racing/ drifting. i do it cause i love it.
But you have to keep in mind that there's a reason why where all here.... because our ancestor reproduced. it sound blunt but it's true.
Don't get me wrong though, cause there's nothing wrong with doing thing that you like doing.... for me it racing/ drifting. i do it cause i love it.
But you have to keep in mind that there's a reason why where all here.... because our ancestor reproduced. it sound blunt but it's true.
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krazy skwerel
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Yes I know where you are coming from, and yes reproduction is a major part of life. Though I still refuse to believe it is the only reason we are here. There is so much more to life than that. I get were your coming from, but honestly I see life as kind of a proving ground to show what you are made of for the afterlife. Granted many don't believe in God and it wuld get into a theological debate, but I try my best to live for the Lord. I know it may sound corny, but that is just my thoughts and beliefs. If you don't believe then I totally respect that. It is your choice. Lie is full of twists and turns. You just gotta know how to navigate them.
If that didn't make sence then I blame it on alchohol. I am at work and crinking. i know not a good example, but I really hate my job. Please don;tdisregaurd what I have said though. I truly meant it. I love God, and thats the bottom line. I try my best to live for the lord, but like I said if you dont believe then thats cool. Life is up to you. Believe what you want. my truth may not be your teuth. It's crazy, but that is how life goes. Oi good night folks.
If that didn't make sence then I blame it on alchohol. I am at work and crinking. i know not a good example, but I really hate my job. Please don;tdisregaurd what I have said though. I truly meant it. I love God, and thats the bottom line. I try my best to live for the lord, but like I said if you dont believe then thats cool. Life is up to you. Believe what you want. my truth may not be your teuth. It's crazy, but that is how life goes. Oi good night folks.
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masticatingcow
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First of all, props to everyone for taking this thread seriously and contributing honestly... probably one of the better threads I've seen on ANY forum, ever.
I doubt anyone would get into a theological debate over your religious practices, krazy skwerel, though I am forced to wonder about this "crinking at work..." by "crinking" do you mean "drinking?" And by "at work" do you mean "at a place where I hold some amount of responsibility and am accountable for the interests of others?" If that's the case, I think THAT needs addressing. I don't think that vice activities are at all correlated to your spirituality, though I can't believe you are doing anyone any favors by getting drunk on the job. If you loathe your job to that degree, you have the power to change that. You can either get a different job or isolate and resolve whatever about your current job you can't stand. Whether it be your workload, your boss, or your coworkers, you should approach it differently than hitting the bottle. If you draw strength from God then use that to conquer this.
In many respects, I'm sure you share much with xxtrizz... dissatisfaction with your situation and a sense of powerlessness. But as we learned with xxtrizz, you ARE empowered and can change where you are, socially or otherwise.
Maybe I'm no philosopher, but the way I see it, life is about chances... taking them and turning them into oppurtunities. Maybe it's about reproducing, and maybe its about living to prove your worth for the afterlife. But regardless of what you believe, tomorrow you will wake up and face a new day... and there's no reason for it to be harder than the one before. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's no way to spend this life, regardless of it's purpose.
I doubt anyone would get into a theological debate over your religious practices, krazy skwerel, though I am forced to wonder about this "crinking at work..." by "crinking" do you mean "drinking?" And by "at work" do you mean "at a place where I hold some amount of responsibility and am accountable for the interests of others?" If that's the case, I think THAT needs addressing. I don't think that vice activities are at all correlated to your spirituality, though I can't believe you are doing anyone any favors by getting drunk on the job. If you loathe your job to that degree, you have the power to change that. You can either get a different job or isolate and resolve whatever about your current job you can't stand. Whether it be your workload, your boss, or your coworkers, you should approach it differently than hitting the bottle. If you draw strength from God then use that to conquer this.
In many respects, I'm sure you share much with xxtrizz... dissatisfaction with your situation and a sense of powerlessness. But as we learned with xxtrizz, you ARE empowered and can change where you are, socially or otherwise.
Maybe I'm no philosopher, but the way I see it, life is about chances... taking them and turning them into oppurtunities. Maybe it's about reproducing, and maybe its about living to prove your worth for the afterlife. But regardless of what you believe, tomorrow you will wake up and face a new day... and there's no reason for it to be harder than the one before. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's no way to spend this life, regardless of it's purpose.
Quote »
Maybe I'm no philosopher, but the way I see it, life is about chances... taking them and turning them into oppurtunities. Maybe it's about reproducing, and maybe its about living to prove your worth for the afterlife. But regardless of what you believe, tomorrow you will wake up and face a new day... and there's no reason for it to be harder than the one before. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's no way to spend this life, regardless of it's purpose. [/quote]
i totoally agree... and i guess everyone has their challenges in life, i guess we all just have to make the best out of every situation..........
So instead of looking at talking to girls or asking them out as a challenge it can be looked as an opportunity.
we only have one life...and time never rewinds.... use it wisely, and make the most out of it. IF something your doing is not working out then "CHANGE" and make something happen for yourself.
Maybe I'm no philosopher, but the way I see it, life is about chances... taking them and turning them into oppurtunities. Maybe it's about reproducing, and maybe its about living to prove your worth for the afterlife. But regardless of what you believe, tomorrow you will wake up and face a new day... and there's no reason for it to be harder than the one before. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's no way to spend this life, regardless of it's purpose. [/quote]
i totoally agree... and i guess everyone has their challenges in life, i guess we all just have to make the best out of every situation..........
So instead of looking at talking to girls or asking them out as a challenge it can be looked as an opportunity.
we only have one life...and time never rewinds.... use it wisely, and make the most out of it. IF something your doing is not working out then "CHANGE" and make something happen for yourself.
