Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

[MinisterofDOOM]

Why don't women just say exactly what they want?

It's NOT just women. NO ONE says what they want. And I'm pretty sure the reason is that no one actually KNOWS what they want. It is impossible to please someone who doesn't know what they want in the first place.

[infinitgkid]

Step three is the really tough one.Plan on being alone and prepare yourself. It's true that there is someone for everyone. It doesn't matter what kind of freak you are, somebody is down to hang with your freaky a**. If you are honest with yourself, with the rest of the world, and look for a freak like you you have set yourself up better than others. The rub is, there is no guarantee you bump into that freak. If you accept that all you can do is pursue happiness and plan your life around being alone you won't get desperate. Notice I refrained from saying "need." When you are needy, you don't make good decisions and you negotiate from a position of weakness.

^ Best advice of the week.

[PoorManQ45]

It's NOT just women. NO ONE says what they want. And I'm pretty sure the reason is that no one actually KNOWS what they want. It is impossible to please someone who doesn't know what they want in the first place.

Excellent point. I guess this, hopefully, comes with maturity.

Maybe it's just me, but I lay out what I want, exactly how I want it.

If I'm just drifting, I just go with whatever because I don't care.

Next question:

What's the deal with all the planning? Men do this too, but it doesn't seem to be as much as women. When doing something, lets say vacation, every little detail must be planned out.

If something that was planned doesn't get done the person is disappointed.

Why not just go where you're going, with an idea of what's in the area. Then do what you have time for.

[numbnuts240]

some people are a lot more easy going than others. you have those that feel lost without daily structure, and those who are perfectly fine with doing things on a whim. your ideology that all women behave in the exact same manner makes me concerned for your penor. it sounds to me that your understandings of the inner workings of the opposite sex derive from stereotypes doled out by pop culture.

[PoorManQ45]

LOL. We all take input from all sources

I have personal dealings with the issues I am asking about too though.

If I want to go to the movies I go:me: "Lets go to the movies"her: "Ok, what movie would you like to see?"me: "I don't know, lets just go at 7 and see what's playing"her: "what if nothing is playing that we like?"me: "Then we'll do something else"Her: "like what?"etc...

It is always like this.

I don't care what we do, I just want to do something...

[marlin29311]

LOL. We all take input from all sources

I have personal dealings with the issues I am asking about too though.

If I want to go to the movies I go:me: "Lets go to the movies"her: "Ok, what movie would you like to see?"me: "I don't know, lets just go at 7 and see what's playing"her: "what if nothing is playing that we like?"me: "Then we'll do something else"Her: "like what?"etc...

It is always like this.

I don't care what we do, I just want to do something...

Umm, I'm like this as well...and I'm pretty damn easy going. I just hate going to the movie theater to see nothing is there that I want to see...then it kinda kills the night because what you were planning to do doesn't work and you're stuck there thinking about what you want to do now...

Men generally take on a very short planning cycle...women tend to have a longer outlook then men do. It's just built into the personality. I actually like the fact that my fiancee looks forward into the future more than I do because it helps me with certian things that I want to do as well...

I just have one question.

Why don't women just say exactly what they want?

"I want you to make me happy". WTF am I supposed to do with that!

Or the typical "you should know what to do"

You want directness? Give it back. If she says she wants to make you happy, then say a BJ will make you happy. See if you get one. There's a certian level of mystery that occurs until you're deeply engrained into a relationship, as two people try to figure each other out and understand one another. Act like yourself, and your partner will too.

And you should know what to do to make your partner happy. That's why you're in a f***ing relationship, or haven't you noticed?

There is so much garbage being spewed from pop culture about relationships and what matters with people that its amazing people even still talk to one another...

[cellardoorv]

You want directness? Give it back. If she says she wants to make you happy, then say a BJ will make you happy. See if you get one. There's a certian level of mystery that occurs until you're deeply engrained into a relationship, as two people try to figure each other out and understand one another. Act like yourself, and your partner will too.

And you should know what to do to make your partner happy. That's why you're in a f***ing relationship, or haven't you noticed?

There is so much garbage being spewed from pop culture about relationships and what matters with people that its amazing people even still talk to one another...

[PoorManQ45]

And you should know what to do to make your partner happy. That's why you're in a f***ing relationship, or haven't you noticed?

generally I do know what to do, but you can't account for everything.

It's those one offs that I'd really like them to just say WTF they want

[Dittoz7]

My Question: How Do You Tell a Girl "No, I Don't Want To Be Your Significant Other", Without Them Hating You Forever...

[PoorManQ45]

DTF?

[Dittoz7]

This Is Mostly Me Being To Nice, And Girls Getting the Wrong Ideas.

I Can't Help It, I'm A Nice Guy...

[numbnuts240]

be up front about it, but not to the point where you humiliate them. take them aside and be all like

-listen hea woman. i don't appreciate you all up in my grill like this. i ain't cha baby daddy, so you need to step off with all this "us" business. i mean, i'll f*** ya, but there ain't gonna be no cuddling after. hit it. and quit it. 'namean?

ok, don't do that, but really just take them aside, express how flattered you are, but that you just aren't interested in a relationship right now. notice how i didn't say "relationship with you". leave those last two words out, hurts the self esteem, yo.

[PoorManQ45]

^^^LMFAO!!! DO IT!

[cellardoorv]

My Question: How Do You Tell a Girl "No, I Don't Want To Be Your Significant Other", Without Them Hating You Forever...

Honestly... just tell them that. Trust me. As a female, I would much rather hear that, then being led on, led to think you feel otherwise, etc, because the guy couldn't man up and be direct. She might not like you for a while, but she'll get over it. Life goes on.

[PoorManQ45]

PPIHB and kick her to the curb

[AZhitman]

^ Brien, you haven't put anything in anyone's butt except that one awkward time at Boy Scout camp in the puptent, so knock it off.

Besides, it's "PIIHB". Get it right.

Anyway, I can't for the life of me, figure out why you guys have such a difficult time with this....

I'm as happily married as a man can get, but I have never experienced these weird communication issues you guys are describing.

Hell, ask Torry - you do NOT want me around if you're trying to spit game in a group of single women... I could be twice as ugly as I already am and STILL reel it in.

Maybe I'll draft up a little "how-to" to go along with Bex & 'Chele's therapy session here.

Carry on, ladies. You've got your work cut out for you, but you're doing a great job.

[S13_love]

Anyway, I can't for the life of me, figure out why you guys have such a difficult time with this....

I'm as happily married as a man can get, but I have never experienced these weird communication issues you guys are describing.

After reading this thread...Im actually kinda wondering this myself.

Other than that, there is definitely some good advice in here...I also agree very much with what tms said too.

[seang]

I thought this thread was gonna be about the book with the same name of which I have a copy.

[PoorManQ45]

remember, most of us arn't as old as you geezers... So we run in to maturity issues...

[marlin29311]

remember, most of us arn't as old as you geezers... So we run in to maturity issues...

I'm 23 and not running into such issues...

[Jesda]

Men are from Mars.

Women are from Craigslist.

[AZhitman]

remember, most of us arn't as old as you geezers... So we run in to maturity issues...

Someone please dig up the picture of Brien on the sofa with his beloved... You know the one.

[PoorManQ45]

yep, it's in my photobucket account

i guess I just attract the crazy eyes...

[cellardoorv]

I'm 23 and not running into such issues...

You are what we call one of the "good ones".

I haven't even met you, and I can tell you're a really stand up guy. 2L is lucky. Yay Lou!

[Bmore-coupe]

Men are from Mars.

Women are from Craigslist.

[RobPaulson]

why do girls become totally attracted and interested when you start making fun of them? i never understood this, and its like a damn switch almost any confident guy can flip.

meet a girl, ignore her, and make fun of her when you do pay attention to her. bam she instantly jumps on ur s***. seriously? i just dont get it, kinda drives me nuts

[Gia1085]

Honestly... just tell them that. Trust me. As a female, I would much rather hear that, then being led on, led to think you feel otherwise, etc, because the guy couldn't man up and be direct. She might not like you for a while, but she'll get over it. Life goes on.

This is great advice..If I might chime in ! A girl can def appreciate honesty..Tell them you are'nt looking to get serious just looking for some fun. Most girls that are single love not having strings attached.

[cellardoorv]

why do girls become totally attracted and interested when you start making fun of them? i never understood this, and its like a damn switch almost any confident guy can flip.

meet a girl, ignore her, and make fun of her when you do pay attention to her. bam she instantly jumps on ur s***. seriously? i just dont get it, kinda drives me nuts

Because some girls need ANY attention, even if it's negative. Also, they feel the need to prove you wrong.

Boy: "You're ugly."Girl: *sobsob* "No I'm not! Look at my tits/box!"

Voila. Needy girl desperate to prove herself worthy, or prove the man wrong equals girl all over your s***.

AKA not the girl you want to take home/put up with for very long. See also: not a keeper.

[cellardoorv]

I thought this thread was gonna be about the book with the same name of which I have a copy.

I don't believe that whole Mars Venus s***. I think both are screwed equally, but it helps to have some female insight on a mainly guy dominated forum.

I really should have named this after the Jay Z song like I originally planned.

[numbnuts240]

I really should have named this after the Jay Z song like I originally planned.

"money, cash, hoes"?