Married men: Help me buy a wedding band (for me)

[DJ_B_Easy]

With 3 and a half months to go until my wedding my fiance and I started shopping wedding bands today. Looking for a little advice/experience notes to help me make a decision. It would be appreciated if you could tell me:

1) What metal your wedding band is made of
2) What style it is (pretty much just need to know thick or thin, Im not doing diamonds or anything fancy)
3) How you enjoy the combination of 1 and 2

I have never worn jewelry outside of an earring when I was in middle school and thought it would be a good idea to plunge some metal through my ear lobe in a friends bathroom (no ice, yo). My main concern is getting something that is going to annoy the hell out of me and then hating to wear it. I have somewhat "webbed" fingers, so putting anything in that area is already going to be odd. Just trying on the few rings I saw today made my finger swell to the point it was becoming time consuming to remove the rings.

Questions asked to me by a few jewelers that you may wish to know the answer to:

Q: What kind of work do you do?
A: I sit at a desk 9-5. But weekends can be entirely filled with wrenching, home improvement, and other ring damaging activities.

Q: What is your budget?
A: CHEAP

Q: What kind of ring are you looking for?
A: I have no f'ing clue. Simple.

Thank you for any and all replies.

[leesredgt]

I literally have a silver band from Walmart that I paid 30$ for; and you know what? That's exactly what I wanted. I knew my ring would get scratched and dented because I work outside and of course turn a wrench from time to time. So now I don't have to feel bad if I mistakenly scratch my ring. Worse case scenario is just go get another one easy peezy.

[DJ_B_Easy]

^I actually considered buying one from Overstock.com for about the same price. But a constant replacement item just seems wrong to me (no offense to you). My main concern is comfort. I seriously have some hobbit/platypus hands. Wondering if one metal is more forgiving than others.

[BusyBadger]

I'm going to suggest you take a look at both titanium and tungsten-carbide rings. Both materials are super-durable for your wrenching and home improvement chores. I've never seen any normal activity that can even scratch a tungsten-carbide ring. One thing to keep in mind is that titanium is very difficult to resize and tungsten pretty much impossible, you're better off just getting a new ring. Speaking of which...

...both are pretty inexpensive, especially when you consider the alternatives like white/yellow gold and/or platinum.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BLJsl6XLMc&showinfo=0[/youtube]

[MinisterofDOOM]

A friend of mine has a wooden wedding band. It's unique looking and was still pretty cheap. Obviously can't be resized, though.

[Bubba1]

My late father never wore a wedding ring. He joked that only his wife was married. I could not get away with that line, so I wear one.
1. Gold and about average thickness.
2. Very simple. Complexity means more cumbersome to clean, plus it goes with pretty much any other jewelry. It's also not important that it matches your wife's ring. My wife's wedding band compliments her engagement ring. I also think inscriptions are unnecessary as it's a ring you almost never take off.
3. To me, what it looks like is rather minor compared to what it represents.
I'm fine with my simple ring.

They're not that expensive, so don't go too cheap. It's gonna be on your finger (or nose) for a long time.

[JGT Customs]

Take it from me - make sure you get a COMFORT fit ring. I had one of the cheap ones from walmart and it drove me crazy. When I got remarried, I really didn't look into anyhting but something cool and happened to accidentally get one. I still play with it (don't get your mind in the gutter) but it's not intrusive like my old band was. My ring does not match my wife's ring, but instead matches my personality and interests. It's a tungsten/carbon fiber ring I got off ebay. I looked through a few until I found a picture that actually showed the carbon fiber inlay looking real. I got it and i"m very impressed. Looks like real carbon fiber, and if it's not it'd have fooled me. Being in powder coating, I handle ALOT of parts. From Greasy to awkward, my ring's taken the beating. When I work with tools though, and have a day of wrenching - I take the ring off and put it back on when I'm done. Here's the one I got and LOVE:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/COMFORT-8MM-MEN ... 5652ac26c4

[AZhitman]

I have a thick black tungsten band. I paid $40 shipped, and you;re not going to hurt a tungsten ring - EVER.



Comfort fit is a MUST. Don't stress if it feels odd at first - I have weird monkey fingers and I don't even notice mine anymore.

My ring also takes a beating, and I've never taken it off. It still looks great.

Skip anything gold - I got my hand caught in some suspension components when a jack failed on a Suburban I was working on. Smashed my ring almost flat, and by the time I got to a hospital, it almost cost me a finger.

[DJ_B_Easy]

Thank guys.

I did a bit more research, Im definitely not getting anything gold or platinum. All that cash for something that can be easily damaged? Not for me.

As far as sizing, has anyone purchased what they would consider a ring too large for them? As in you had your finger sized, and then purchased a size bigger than that? Im really concerned with the ring annoying the hell out of me. I almost tweaked in the store just putting them on for a few seconds.

[Bubba1]

Thank guys.

I did a bit more research, Im definitely not getting anything gold or platinum. All that cash for something that can be easily damaged? Not for me.

As far as sizing, has anyone purchased what they would consider a ring too large for them? As in you had your finger sized, and then purchased a size bigger than that? Im really concerned with the ring annoying the hell out of me. I almost tweaked in the store just putting them on for a few seconds.

Comfort is key. Having a little wiggle room is okay in case you gain a little weight, but you don't want it too loose that you have to worry about it falling off.. I'm surprised by all the negativity about gold. My gold band is 30+ years old and it still looks fine. And that's after decades of home improvement, yard work, minor car repairs,general tinkering while wearing it.
Of course, since my father sold his Suburban many years ago, there is little risk of having my ring finger potentially crushed by one.... j/k.

[bundy26]

I have a thick black tungsten band. I paid $40 shipped, and you;re not going to hurt a tungsten ring - EVER.



Comfort fit is a MUST. Don't stress if it feels odd at first - I have weird monkey fingers and I don't even notice mine anymore.

My ring also takes a beating, and I've never taken it off. It still looks great.

Skip anything gold - I got my hand caught in some suspension components when a jack failed on a Suburban I was working on. Smashed my ring almost flat, and by the time I got to a hospital, it almost cost me a finger.

^^
That's what I have, no need to worry about damaging it.

[DJ_B_Easy]

My main quip with gold is the price. I dont imagine Im going to do any major damage to whatever I do decide to buy, but if I can have a similar look for a fraction of the cost Im going that route.

I originally wanted black, not sure now.

[Bubba1]

My main quip with gold is the price. I dont imagine Im going to do any major damage to whatever I do decide to buy, but if I can have a similar look for a fraction of the cost Im going that route.

How much are you looking to spend?

[DJ_B_Easy]

As little as possible. Im still in the very preliminary stages of looking, but from what Ive seen so far titanium/tunsgten are usually about 1/4 or 1/3 the price of the same style band in gold.

[Bubba1]

As little as possible. Im still in the very preliminary stages of looking, but from what Ive seen so far titanium/tunsgten are usually about 1/4 or 1/3 the price of the same style band in gold.

You could always tattoo a ring on and save even more....

[DJ_B_Easy]

Went with a Tungsten band. The jeweler told me it was $100, who knows what the actual value is after the back and forth negotiation for my fiance's band. Worked the deal based on total price for both.

Thanks for the input gents.

[lovehateRBrelations]

Went with a Tungsten band. The jeweler told me it was $100, who knows what the actual value is after the back and forth negotiation for my fiance's band. Worked the deal based on total price for both.

Thanks for the input gents.

good choice Im not married, but have been in a relationship with the same woman for 7 years Way arnt we married?, we like what we have going on Also both of us have fairly successful careers that put us in a finacial position where one doesnt ever need to rely on money from the other She has her things she had, I have my things Ive had, then we have "our stuff" we have purchased together

Anyway to get to the point, two years ago we made our own <non official but still serious and meaningful> commitments to each other and we picked out matching bands as "promise rings" for each other I went with what is basically a tungstun wedding band It has a beveled edge, a lite groove down the center, and the surface that touches skin is super smooth Its also indestructable, which is bad because when I forget to wear it, I cant use the 'ol "i ddint want to bust it up" excuse

[LongBeachCoupe]

Beazy... its ok that you bought already, but you can always replace...

I have a titanium ring, no designs, titanium weighs significantly less than tungsten does, neither can be sized after purchase due to the metals.
I got mine on ebay for $8 bucks and it came with free etching on the inside.

Post up a pic!
Comfort fit I presume?

[DJ_B_Easy]

Its comfort fit. No pics yet, they had to order in the size I needed.

$8.00 With etching?!?! Are you sure its actually titanium? j/k man, I know the deals are out there. I had to work this deal as a package with Shelley's so that we got a better price on hers which was obviously the much more expensive of the two.

[LongBeachCoupe]

Many people are misled on how jewelry actually works, especially if you are out of a major metropolitan area with a "diamond district".
To some extent, there is no "deal" to be had... rings, necklaces, dogtags or just a plain brick, gold (or other precious metals) is a commodity and is based purely on weight alone. Unless it is something that has significant ornate work to it, the price should be based upon the market rate for gold that day, then multiplied by the weight.

To many this is not known because they do not buy a lot of jewelry, or are limited to local stores which charge a huge margin.
Before you buy anything at any jewelry store, ask them what they charge per gram of 14k and negotiate on their price per gram, then start looking for something you like there, ask them to throw it on a scale (or be the cool guy that brings your own).

It sickens me to see what they rip people off with in these stores.

My ring came from china, tested to be titanium, and the shipping to get it here was probably as much as the materials cost.

NEVER ask them how much XYZ ring costs, ask them how much it weighs, and then you will see the cost!

[DJ_B_Easy]

Dude, where they hell where you three days ago?! I know nothing about jewelry, all I know is the ring she wanted was at this shop and she had to have it. Compared to other prices we saw at other shops and online, I feel I got an OK price.

[AZhitman]

NEVER buy jewelry without consulting with The Yarmulke.

[sx moneypit]

NEVER buy jewelry without consulting with The Yarmulke.

[WDRacing]

NEVER buy jewelry without consulting with The Yarmulke.

That's funny s*** right there.

I have 2 bands, one that was really expensive for a dudes ring. Regular gold and white gold with some engraving. I didn't get this ring until I had been married for 5 years though and I never wear it when it can be damaged.

My everyday band is a titanium. It's very light and durable. One can't state the benefit of weight enough. When I switch to my, by comparison, heavy as fcuk gold band I notice it immediately.

Have you looked around for rings that are just cool? Something like...

[LongBeachCoupe]

NEVER buy jewelry without consulting with The Yarmulke.

Beazy, there is nothing proprietary about any jewelry store, they have everything everywhere, or will get it for you to some extent...

This is not a typical purchase, and the engagement ring was bought a while back I presume and should have been the more expensive purchase. This is your wedding ring, who cares to some extent if you got taken for a ride with it, it has more value to it.....

Going forward use the model I laid out, you can get simple gold apps on your android/Iphone that will give you the actual rate that gold is selling for that day (its listed typically in ounces and at 24k, so you may have to do some minor math) but know your pricing before you go in and you will feel much better about it.

You dont need to "Haggle" with them about every damn thing, when you go in ask their price per gram of 14k, they say its $xyz and you say, "hah, I will give you zyx and not a nickel more" they will say OK because they know you are right, and then there is no haggling done when you see the "IT" item... dont look at anything until you negotiate a price per gram...

Also, they may try and tell you that something that is unique and want to charge you more for it... its all BS, for the most part, what the average person (even a non average person for the most part) is getting is available everywhere, there is nothing proprietary again about what they sell.

This all applies to metals, once you get into stones its a whole new ballgame, but dont let the ratings fool you, your eye can tell more than a rating, and can often get you a better deal or a better stone.

I also would sugguest against bringing a woman to a jewelery store, I like to let her go alone and see what she likes, knowing shes not in a buying capacity, and have her send me pictures of something she likes, or find it online... then go in alone to take the emotion factor out of it. Worst case scenario, if you take a trip into NYC you can find anything you want in the diamond district, from a handmade NiCo gold medallion with diamonds (something like this you pay a premium for) to a straightup BRICK of gold. In these types of marketplaces it is even more crucial to know what you are paying per gram because they are the most savvy sellers of jewelry around.

HTH!

WD I liked that gears ring, but its too complex for a "business professional" to wear IMO, I dont want someone eyeballing my hands when I am trying to speak to them on a serious note, unless its a $50k watch... I really liked that one though.

Also when dealing with "cheap" rings, anything that is not 1 solid piece is eventually going to fall apart, and although those carbon fiber rings look cool, its a piece of vinyl wrapped around metal and will fall off in a matter of months. (i tried em!)

[DJ_B_Easy]

Yeah man I get it. To be honest, we were kind of in the "get it over with" mood. As you can see I posted this thread on Saturday and purchased on Sunday. You are right though, she got what she wanted and it means more than the dollar amount.

Appreciate the insight as well, will definitely use it in the future. I kind of feel defeated now. I haggle, its what I do for a living. To tell me that my haggling was to no avail and some simple research and math could have done me better off is like a kick to the nads! I knew the gold/diamond trade existed, just didnt know it was as "accessible" to me as you outlined. Rookie mindset I guess. Now I know, and for that, I am grateful.

[gwoods]

late to the post but I have titanium also.

Most of my watches are titanium it is so light. Skagen, Seiko, Citizen all make very decent titanium watches. They will have synthetic saphire faces that can be buffed with your wifes fingernail polishing 4 sided pad. They will not show scratches.

[WDRacing]

I have a titanium citizen to match my band as well.

Beasy, a note not related to the ring purchase. I'm assuming you're not used to wearing a ring. A word of advice, leave the damn thing on when you wash your hands. I left mine sitting on a sink at the fcuking airport after I washed my hands when I wasn't used to wearing it. Nowadays I feel semi naked without one on.

[DJ_B_Easy]

Im not at all. Thats why I had so much trouble even choosing one. It was mandatory that I try it on.

[VQpwrdSE-R]

My band is made of tungsten. I have had it for 2 years. It's a Triton purchased at Kay jewelers for $300. I have large hands and long fingers so I went with a thicker band. A brushed middle with polished stepped lip. This thing has taken a beating and shows none of it. I remember picking up abrasive cinder blocks and hearing a scratching sound but no scratch. It's very heavy though as compared to titanium and takes some getting used to. I wanted something that wasn't too wild and would look out of style in a few years.

EDIT: Just missed your post. You'll like the tungsten Chris!