stolen from another forum
Quote »Men's Rules
Finally, the guys side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. Wealways hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rulesfrom the male side.
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ONPURPOSE! ! !
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put itdown. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complainingabout you leaving it down...
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of thetides. Let it be...
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of itthat way...
1. Crying is blackmail...
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints donot work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just sayit!!!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost everyquestion...
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That'swhat we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends give you...
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor!!!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. Infact, all comments become null and void after 7 days...
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect usto act like soap opera guys...
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us...
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the waysmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one...
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want itdone. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do ityourself...
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we...
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is...
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that...
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act likenothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth thehassle...
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answeryou don't want to hear...
1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear isfine...Really!!!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monstertrucks...
1. You have enough clothes!!!
1. You have too many shoes!!!
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape...
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couchtonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's likecamping..[/quote]-demetrius
it's time you women learned OUR rules
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TrunkMonkey
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240marcuSX
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Re: it's time you women learned OUR rules
I would have to say it should be 7 hours. I can't remember yesterday.demcj wrote:1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. Infact, all comments become null and void after 7 days...-demetrius
Had this favorited and thought it applied...
1- Learn how to communicateSay what you mean, ask for what you want directly. Expecting a man to interpret indirect signals and read your mind is not communication.
2- Learn to be consistent Irrational behavior just doesn't cut it. If you say you're going to do something, then follow through and do it. Be honest with yourself -- don't say one thing and do another. And for God's sake, don't change your mind a million times.
3- Stop using sex as bait If you want to have sex, then have sex. Don't use sex as a tool to manipulate men. And another thing: Stop tempting men with low-cut dresses or bare midriffs and then blame them for trying to get you into bed. If you need attention that badly, go see a shrink.
4- Develop a conscience Stop abusing your sexual power. Many women have no ethical dilemmas at all about using men for favors or financial gain by dangling the promise of sex in front of them. Not only is this deceitful and immoral, but it's a double standard nothing short of fraud.
5- Knock off the mixed messages If you're interested in a guy, let him know it. Ditto with sex. Maybe playing hard to get is cool if you're 12 years old, but it's just annoying 20 years later. Refer to rule #1 -- men aren't able to read minds, so don't expect them to.
6- Stop expecting men to finance your lifeThis is the 2000's, for God's sake -- women are enjoying unparalleled career and earning opportunities, and it's unfair to treat men like ATM machines, especially when many women are earning as much or more than we are. It may be a great scam, but at its core, it's nothing but age-old prostitution -- trading sex for money.
7- If you expect equality, then act like it Equal rights means equal rights across the board -- not just when it's in your best interests. If you expect equal pay, then expect to be drafted and pay your share of dating expenses, too.
8- Stop blaming men for all your problems We aren't what's wrong -- you are.
9- Just be niceCan't you just be nice? Nobody likes a nasty, self-serving *****. And men today are very, very tired of self-serving *****es.
1- Learn how to communicateSay what you mean, ask for what you want directly. Expecting a man to interpret indirect signals and read your mind is not communication.
2- Learn to be consistent Irrational behavior just doesn't cut it. If you say you're going to do something, then follow through and do it. Be honest with yourself -- don't say one thing and do another. And for God's sake, don't change your mind a million times.
3- Stop using sex as bait If you want to have sex, then have sex. Don't use sex as a tool to manipulate men. And another thing: Stop tempting men with low-cut dresses or bare midriffs and then blame them for trying to get you into bed. If you need attention that badly, go see a shrink.
4- Develop a conscience Stop abusing your sexual power. Many women have no ethical dilemmas at all about using men for favors or financial gain by dangling the promise of sex in front of them. Not only is this deceitful and immoral, but it's a double standard nothing short of fraud.
5- Knock off the mixed messages If you're interested in a guy, let him know it. Ditto with sex. Maybe playing hard to get is cool if you're 12 years old, but it's just annoying 20 years later. Refer to rule #1 -- men aren't able to read minds, so don't expect them to.
6- Stop expecting men to finance your lifeThis is the 2000's, for God's sake -- women are enjoying unparalleled career and earning opportunities, and it's unfair to treat men like ATM machines, especially when many women are earning as much or more than we are. It may be a great scam, but at its core, it's nothing but age-old prostitution -- trading sex for money.
7- If you expect equality, then act like it Equal rights means equal rights across the board -- not just when it's in your best interests. If you expect equal pay, then expect to be drafted and pay your share of dating expenses, too.
8- Stop blaming men for all your problems We aren't what's wrong -- you are.
9- Just be niceCan't you just be nice? Nobody likes a nasty, self-serving *****. And men today are very, very tired of self-serving *****es.
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Rockenreno
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This is a bunch a bull shi* but most of the other i thought was cute and i can give you and i will even give the not go back six mths in the disargrement part that get me into trouble
but this is just unrealthis sounds more like you men sorry to say exceot for the dressing part on three but that is not a way to get men into bed..that is men using the wrong head if a women is in a bathing suit are we saying we want to sleep with you NO come on now think with the right on...
2- Learn to be consistent Irrational behavior just doesn't cut it. If you say you're going to do something, then follow through and do it. Be honest with yourself -- don't say one thing and do another. And for God's sake, don't change your mind a million times.
3- Stop using sex as bait If you want to have sex, then have sex. Don't use sex as a tool to manipulate men. And another thing: Stop tempting men with low-cut dresses or bare midriffs and then blame them for trying to get you into bed. If you need attention that badly, go see a shrink.
4- Develop a conscience Stop abusing your sexual power. Many women have no ethical dilemmas at all about using men for favors or financial gain by dangling the promise of sex in front of them. Not only is this deceitful and immoral, but it's a double standard nothing short of fraud.
5- Knock off the mixed messages If you're interested in a guy, let him know it. Ditto with sex. Maybe playing hard to get is cool if you're 12 years old, but it's just annoying 20 years later. Refer to rule #1 -- men aren't able to read minds, so don't expect them to.
6- Stop expecting men to finance your lifeThis is the 2000's, for God's sake -- women are enjoying unparalleled career and earning opportunities, and it's unfair to treat men like ATM machines, especially when many women are earning as much or more than we are. It may be a great scam, but at its core, it's nothing but age-old prostitution -- trading sex for money.
but this is just unrealthis sounds more like you men sorry to say exceot for the dressing part on three but that is not a way to get men into bed..that is men using the wrong head if a women is in a bathing suit are we saying we want to sleep with you NO come on now think with the right on...
2- Learn to be consistent Irrational behavior just doesn't cut it. If you say you're going to do something, then follow through and do it. Be honest with yourself -- don't say one thing and do another. And for God's sake, don't change your mind a million times.
3- Stop using sex as bait If you want to have sex, then have sex. Don't use sex as a tool to manipulate men. And another thing: Stop tempting men with low-cut dresses or bare midriffs and then blame them for trying to get you into bed. If you need attention that badly, go see a shrink.
4- Develop a conscience Stop abusing your sexual power. Many women have no ethical dilemmas at all about using men for favors or financial gain by dangling the promise of sex in front of them. Not only is this deceitful and immoral, but it's a double standard nothing short of fraud.
5- Knock off the mixed messages If you're interested in a guy, let him know it. Ditto with sex. Maybe playing hard to get is cool if you're 12 years old, but it's just annoying 20 years later. Refer to rule #1 -- men aren't able to read minds, so don't expect them to.
6- Stop expecting men to finance your lifeThis is the 2000's, for God's sake -- women are enjoying unparalleled career and earning opportunities, and it's unfair to treat men like ATM machines, especially when many women are earning as much or more than we are. It may be a great scam, but at its core, it's nothing but age-old prostitution -- trading sex for money.
:Werd: I have had conversations about this very topic (modesty) with female friends that I care about. I'm not trying to see them in a sexual way, so I tell them that they are pretty regardless of what they wear. I get the argument that they wear what's comfortable....but that's a load of crap. Tugging on spaghetti straps, pulling up low rise jeans and not being able to pick up something you dropped on the floor cannot be comfortable.Jesda wrote:Attention whoring:
Bathing suit on the beach? No.
Short skirts and cleavage at the bank? Yes.
Here's a fact that I try to convey: Men will notice women regardless of what they are wearing. It is in their best interest to dress modestly and comfortably. Cleavage, thongs and lots of skin showing are not "cute". It's provacative, sexy, many times alluring, but it's not cute. Babies and puppies are cute. Let's just tell it like it is.
I think Chris Rock put it best, "Any man that's ever been nice to you since you were 16 is just offering d1ck."
That's not to say that men and women can't be friends, but generally, if the man finds you attractive, he wants to have sex with you. There's no inconsistency or mixing messages there--it's pretty much an accepted fact that men like sex. Woman are useful for said activity...I'll admit that some guys, myself included, could use a bit more of a conscience sometimes, but the same is just as, or even more so as my experience has been, true for women.
That's not to say that men and women can't be friends, but generally, if the man finds you attractive, he wants to have sex with you. There's no inconsistency or mixing messages there--it's pretty much an accepted fact that men like sex. Woman are useful for said activity...I'll admit that some guys, myself included, could use a bit more of a conscience sometimes, but the same is just as, or even more so as my experience has been, true for women.
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Twintip_yeti
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C-Kwik
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put itdown. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complainingabout you leaving it down...
This one is my pet peeve. Most girls complain of falling into the toilet. How about you look before you sit. And frankly, it doens't really bother guys that the seat is down. I mean, we can always just piss all over the seat.
This one is my pet peeve. Most girls complain of falling into the toilet. How about you look before you sit. And frankly, it doens't really bother guys that the seat is down. I mean, we can always just piss all over the seat.
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nametakennow
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Well, I gotta agree with a lot of this, despite how piggish it comes across. As far as the toilet thing... well... I don't see what the problem is... as long as you have decent aim there's no need to put the seat up.
"Here's a fact that I try to convey: Men will notice women regardless of what they are wearing. It is in their best interest to dress modestly and comfortably. Cleavage, thongs and lots of skin showing are not "cute". It's provacative, sexy, many times alluring, but it's not cute. Babies and puppies are cute. Let's just tell it like it is."
I agree with this except for the babies part, a lot of babies are flat out ugly. I also have to add something, when a girl does something incredibly enticingly, such as lick her lips or look at you "that way" (which no one here can explain, you just know it when it happens), and then says "What? I didn't do anything!" and denies that she's enticing you, that's what we call a ****-tease, and they suck! I can't stand that... don't entice us and then toy us around like prizes, or even give off the pretense of it. You may not realize it, and you probably hate it as much as I do, but in this world appearances are everything, and if it looks like I'm being lead around by the ****, I look like an utter fool and you look like a *****, so don't complain when people think of you and I as such.
"Here's a fact that I try to convey: Men will notice women regardless of what they are wearing. It is in their best interest to dress modestly and comfortably. Cleavage, thongs and lots of skin showing are not "cute". It's provacative, sexy, many times alluring, but it's not cute. Babies and puppies are cute. Let's just tell it like it is."
I agree with this except for the babies part, a lot of babies are flat out ugly. I also have to add something, when a girl does something incredibly enticingly, such as lick her lips or look at you "that way" (which no one here can explain, you just know it when it happens), and then says "What? I didn't do anything!" and denies that she's enticing you, that's what we call a ****-tease, and they suck! I can't stand that... don't entice us and then toy us around like prizes, or even give off the pretense of it. You may not realize it, and you probably hate it as much as I do, but in this world appearances are everything, and if it looks like I'm being lead around by the ****, I look like an utter fool and you look like a *****, so don't complain when people think of you and I as such.
come on i was not saying that some women dont do this i remember when i was younger riding the motercycle around town in the tight jeans (but i could still breathe) and the belly shirts but my boobs were not hanging out i left it so you had to think about what was underneath but if you have a body you want to show it....it does not mean that i want to take you home and have sex with you my boyfriend loved it when i dressed liked that.....but i am older now and i have a child and i dont where thoses type of clothes anymore but my point is that if you go to the beach you see a he** of alot more there and people are a lot more flirty there then anyplace...like someone said pulling the straps of the top people are drinking in the water who the he** knows what is going on so give me a break dont make women out to be whores just cause someone pissed you off.....
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Onizuka
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nametakennow wrote:As far as the toilet thing... well... I don't see what the problem is... as long as you have decent aim there's no need to put the seat up.
Despite being a guy I totally disagree, I live in dorms and I hate fuggin having to clean off the god damn toilet seat every time I wanna take a shiat. It takes friggen .68 seconds to lift before you take a piss @^@#$%&!#$^*!*#$^!&@#$*^&!#$%^!@&#$&*^!@#$&@^$%&^
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krazy skwerel
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"...but if you have a body you want to show it....it does not mean that i want to take you home and have sex with you ..." I think you make an excellent point in that statement. It is your body and you CAN show it off if you want to. But don't be upset if someone wants to take you home and have sex with you because of what you're showing off.
It is never "right" to degrade a woman whether verbally or physically. It is always wrong and evil when a guy tries to force himself on a woman. And that applies to anything from physical contact to verbal advances. "No" should always be taken to mean "no".
But with SOME women its a huge double standard. How many women do you know who would leave their purses on the seat of their car and NOT expect the car to be broken into??? It's never justifiable to steal anything, but we as men and women don't leave the responsibility up to the general public to keep our valuables safe. When someone does leave their car unlooked or something that looks valuable in view... many of will simply say, "What did you expect to happen??" if they get robbed. How much more valuable is a woman's body than what's in that purse?
It is never "right" to degrade a woman whether verbally or physically. It is always wrong and evil when a guy tries to force himself on a woman. And that applies to anything from physical contact to verbal advances. "No" should always be taken to mean "no".
But with SOME women its a huge double standard. How many women do you know who would leave their purses on the seat of their car and NOT expect the car to be broken into??? It's never justifiable to steal anything, but we as men and women don't leave the responsibility up to the general public to keep our valuables safe. When someone does leave their car unlooked or something that looks valuable in view... many of will simply say, "What did you expect to happen??" if they get robbed. How much more valuable is a woman's body than what's in that purse?
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nametakennow
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SeVa-S13 wrote:Ha, yeah. Unfortunately, the peen isn't exatly a precision tool...there's always a *little* overspray on the seat. :pface
Oh come on! It's not that hard. And a little overspray is no big deal, a square of toilet paper fixes it.
In all honesty however, if someone were to ask me to put the seat down, I would, but being it that I'm the only one who uses my bathroom 90% of the time since my brother left for college, I can get by =D.
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I Need $$$
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Onizuka
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no, no, no, no....
50 guys on the floor + 4 toilets (with the space in the front of the seat) + no seat lifting = a lot of piss on the seat, dried piss and wet piss, its fuggin gross, and I have to deal with it for 8 strait months...
nobody understands my pain....
Girls should be GLAD guys lift the seat!!!
50 guys on the floor + 4 toilets (with the space in the front of the seat) + no seat lifting = a lot of piss on the seat, dried piss and wet piss, its fuggin gross, and I have to deal with it for 8 strait months...
nobody understands my pain....
Girls should be GLAD guys lift the seat!!!