Favorite NonFamous Quotes:

[Bubba1]

1. Experience is something you don't get until after you need it.2. Eagles may soar but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines3. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.4. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.5. Half the people you know are below average.6. Live long enough to be a burden to your children7. If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain

[MaineExport]

"No one has freckles on their a$$.... wear a condom."

[jdmfreak]

"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."--Robert Benchley

"Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author?" --Philip G. Hamerton

"Please note that "quotes" is a verb and "quotations" is the noun. One quotes someone and in doing so makes a quotation." --Susan T. Case

[RMiller]

HAHA, some mom gave you her phone number????

Actually 2 moms tried to hook up with me. I'm a lifeguard and I teach swim lessons during the summer, and some of the moms like the employees. So anyway, this particular mom already hooked up with one of my coworkers, she would book hotel rooms and stuff. It was really funny, she'd call him up in the early morning and say "I just wanted to hear your sleepy voice." Oh her husband is a cop in Signal Hill(if you don't know it's by the LBC). Oh and I would say she's a milf, she's probably 32. But my God, I taught her daughter swim lessons, it's just wrong. So basically the many moral issues that arose when she left me that note kept me from doing anything. The other mom was drunk(long story) and her husband was out of town on a business trip, she started coming on to me, but I teach her kids swim lessons too, and I don't think I could handle the moral consequences. Yeah, I would say if you like moms you should become a lifeguard and get a good tan. Can't go wrong. But I highly recommend, based on my coworker's experience, that you not hook up with moms, especially married ones, especially when the husbands are cops.

[MaineExport]

Actually 2 moms tried to hook up with me. I'm a lifeguard and I teach swim lessons during the summer, and some of the moms like the employees. So anyway, this particular mom already hooked up with one of my coworkers, she would book hotel rooms and stuff. It was really funny, she'd call him up in the early morning and say "I just wanted to hear your sleepy voice." Oh her husband is a cop in Signal Hill(if you don't know it's by the LBC). Oh and I would say she's a milf, she's probably 32. But my God, I taught her daughter swim lessons, it's just wrong. So basically the many moral issues that arose when she left me that note kept me from doing anything. The other mom was drunk(long story) and her husband was out of town on a business trip, she started coming on to me, but I teach her kids swim lessons too, and I don't think I could handle the moral consequences. Yeah, I would say if you like moms you should become a lifeguard and get a good tan. Can't go wrong. But I highly recommend, based on my coworker's experience, that you not hook up with moms, especially married ones, especially when the husbands are cops.

Dear Playboy,

I never thought something like this could actually happen to me.....

[Megaseth]

Playboy??? Thats more like Penthouse letters material

[dr!ft]

Another quote:

"You know, there's a million fine-lookin' woman in the world, dude, but they don't all bring you lasagna to work. Most of them just cheat on you."

- Silent Bob, Clerks