AZhitman wrote:Brings to mind something I've tried to share with my kids as a "life lesson": When we were dirt-poor, just starting out, with 2 kids and one on the way, 3 months on food stamps, working 2 jobs AND slinging newspapers in the middle of the night for extra cash, eating ramen... you get the idea...
...lots of my peers / coworkers lived a different lifestyle. They'd hit up happy hour at the bar, spend money on CDs and movies, b**** about the boss, complain about their lot in life - but the one universal thing about all of them? They all hung out together.
I declined their invitations. Instead, I sought out people who had "made it" or were well on their way. I became friends with a few key people... a well-known psychiatrist, a successful financial analyst, a very wealthy real estate developer, and an inventor. I'd spend as much time with them as I could spare. I'd invite them over, with no shame for our ramshackle residence. I'd ask as many questions as they'd tolerate. Those people really shaped my future.
Criminal Justice / Profiling 101: The top two predictors of behavior are past behavior and the company you keep. Maybe, as Adam Carolla says, we should quit being so afraid to judge people. Rather, judge away, and choose your circle of friends wisely... they can change your life.
Not to toot my horn, but ... this long, rambling spiel explains where
I come from and the context about
why I talk about personal finance and money and taxes, etc. the way that I do.
I came to the US in the early seventies with $50 in my pocket on a one-way airplane ticket ride, with one suitcase of clothes, and a letter of acceptance to an outstanding college and a hope and prayer for the future.
I did
not have excess money to party with - most fun I ever did was go with my fraternity brothers to bars (even though I did not drink anything but Coke or Pepsi) so that I could walk them back to the house.
No movies, theatres, night clubs ... nothing! I could not afford it.
Most of us could not afford cars in college either, by the way! Between the 50 people in my fraternity house, we had about four or five cars - most in need of continuous repairs. I will never forget one old car bouncing over a bad railroad crossing on a back-street of Cambridge, grinding to a halt and us all watching one of the rear wheels (rim, hub and tire) go bouncing down the road while we sat there just past the tracks - unable to move!

The owner of that car, by the way, is now a very successful doctor on the East Coast.
I worked my butt off in college - full-time study, as well as 20+ hours/week of waiting tables, stage hand and orchestra pit mover, concert usher, making beds, cooking breakfast, etc. ... all at a minimum wage of $1.90/ hour in those days. I didn't take money from my Mom (my Dad died the year before I came to the US) ... had scholarships and loans (high interest rate, since I was not eligible for US Govt student loans).
In my final six months at college, more often than not, I slept at my desk in my shared office at the college because I did not have the money for a ride home on the Boston Green Line.
I graduated from college with next to nothing in my bank account, owing 8 to 10 months apartment rent share to a fraternity brother roommate, and a massive loan to the college.
I borrowed $1000 on a 9 month personal loan from a local bank in Cambridge, MA. I did not have any collateral - so I will be forever indebted to the bank manager who put his trust in me after reading my job offer letter - for a down payment on an econo-box car, car insurance and some new clothes so that I could start work (company required us engineers to wear ties to work in those days) the day after I handed in my thesis to my advisor.
No after-school vacation break ... in fact, I did not take any vacation days off for 5 years, so that I could accumulate enough vacation time to go overseas and visit my family that I had not seen in 9 years.
Then I paid off my student loans (over ten years), came up through the ranks, and am finally comfortable now - the
only monthly debt my wife and I have, is our house mortgage and even that is 75% paid off now. All credit cards are for convenience - the bills are paid off at the end of the month (so, no interest or penalties). With the exception of the first couple of cars I bought after college, we have saved up and paid cash for all our cars and appliances and home repairs and vacations and private school for our son, etc., etc., etc.
I don't fall into the "rich" camp (the Obama "$250k per year" definition), but am working to get there if I can before I die. I absolutely don't begrudge the rich their money. Most of them (not all, of course) earned it the hard way too.
I look at many college students today and find myself shaking my head in disbelief at how they could feel such a sense of entitlement all the time.
I look at people who live from paycheck to paycheck - blowing it all on partying and cars and an expensive life-style, with no thought for the future - and wonder what motivation drives them.
The unrealistic sense of entitlement that people have of the government handouts just drives me bonkers sometimes!
Z