Punishment is no fun for the parent or the child, and it would be nice to think that we raise our kids well enough that they would never do anything to deserve punishment. But, in reality kids are kids... and the difference between good parents and bad parents is the way we handle the situation when they do get out of line.
The punishment needs to fit the severity of the improper behavior... and the biggest mistake most parents make... the punishment needs to be CONSISTENT and COMPLETE. Too often parents "threaten" their kids with a punishment, and the moment the child acts apologetic or starts behaving, the parents just renege on their punishment. That will NEVER teach the child to THINK about CONSEQUENCES before they act the next time. I see it every day and it makes me ill. That's how criminals are formed.
EBAY: Playstation Punishment!!!!
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MaineExport
- Posts: 3784
- Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2002 3:27 pm
- Car: 95 Nissan 240SX FAL fans AEM intake Hot Shot header Apexi N1 dual Exhaust VLSD ABS NX 50 shot
I agree with MaineExport....
As a single parent raising two small children, my girls are 5 and 7, it can be tough. Especially the consistency. but it MUST be done. I have been raising my girls alone since my youngest was 6 months old.
Although you'd never know it by the night we were at SCO Nights, ask NICOmom and AZHitman about it, my kids are normally very well behaved kids. My babysitter even says that she uses my girls as an example to the other kids.
The punishment must be appropriate and consistent. Freaking out and beating your kid down for something little isn't a good thing. However, doing virtually nothing when your kid does something serious isn't a good thing either.
I tend to work my punishments in stages. The first time they do something, provided they haven't done it before, I sit them down and explain what they did wrong and why it was wrong. The second time they get a "time out" in the corner. Standing, not sitting. The third time they get grounded to their room, with no toys, etc. The third time, and there rarely is a third time, they get spanked. This teaches them a couple of things. The biggest being that it is ok to make mistakes, however, if you keep making the same mistake, there are consequences to it.
I think another mistake parents make is treating their small children like, well, children. In the sense that they don't try to make their children responsible for anything and treat them like babies. My kids, not even when they were babies, have ever been baby talked to. It just doesn't happen. As a result, both of my children speak very well and clearly articulate their wants/needs. This avoids them just doing what they want because they feel that daddy doesn't understand them anyhow, so they will just go do it and suffer the consequences.
People are afraid to discipline their kids now days. Mainly because too many people and organizations have decided that it is their right to step in just because they do not agree with the punishment being doled out. Yes, some parents take it too far, and deserve to suffer the consequences, but in most cases the outsiders FAR exceed what is their business. Swatting your kid with your hand on the butt is not assault or child abuse. However, these people anr organizations have convinced the populace that they will lose their kids and be arrested if they discipline their kids. This is why there are far too many under ***holes roaming around society today.
As a single parent raising two small children, my girls are 5 and 7, it can be tough. Especially the consistency. but it MUST be done. I have been raising my girls alone since my youngest was 6 months old.
Although you'd never know it by the night we were at SCO Nights, ask NICOmom and AZHitman about it, my kids are normally very well behaved kids. My babysitter even says that she uses my girls as an example to the other kids.
The punishment must be appropriate and consistent. Freaking out and beating your kid down for something little isn't a good thing. However, doing virtually nothing when your kid does something serious isn't a good thing either.
I tend to work my punishments in stages. The first time they do something, provided they haven't done it before, I sit them down and explain what they did wrong and why it was wrong. The second time they get a "time out" in the corner. Standing, not sitting. The third time they get grounded to their room, with no toys, etc. The third time, and there rarely is a third time, they get spanked. This teaches them a couple of things. The biggest being that it is ok to make mistakes, however, if you keep making the same mistake, there are consequences to it.
I think another mistake parents make is treating their small children like, well, children. In the sense that they don't try to make their children responsible for anything and treat them like babies. My kids, not even when they were babies, have ever been baby talked to. It just doesn't happen. As a result, both of my children speak very well and clearly articulate their wants/needs. This avoids them just doing what they want because they feel that daddy doesn't understand them anyhow, so they will just go do it and suffer the consequences.
People are afraid to discipline their kids now days. Mainly because too many people and organizations have decided that it is their right to step in just because they do not agree with the punishment being doled out. Yes, some parents take it too far, and deserve to suffer the consequences, but in most cases the outsiders FAR exceed what is their business. Swatting your kid with your hand on the butt is not assault or child abuse. However, these people anr organizations have convinced the populace that they will lose their kids and be arrested if they discipline their kids. This is why there are far too many under ***holes roaming around society today.
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StrangeLove
- Posts: 2502
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