And the retard of the year award goes to.......

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IanS
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So there I am, minding my own business at work when I see this car pull in. Envision an early model Lincoln LS fitted with a set of 22" wheels that looked about as proportionate as double Ds on Katy Perry. Out steps your typical wannabe, with his jeans hanging low, and his trendy glasses.

The order comes back, P diddy wants an alignment. I chuckle to myself as my co-worker grabs the keys. Up on the lift, he goes through the normal inspection procedure. Its not long before I hear laughing from under the car. Naturally I wander over, expecting tie rods that are falling off, or something similar.

It takes me a few seconds to realize what I am looking at, but finally I see it. Speechlessly I step back and look at my co-worker. I ask, what about the rear? He shakes his head and says, its the same. For the first time, I was truly shocked by someone else's utter automotive stupidity.

Because the wheels were so large, the vehicle was too low at factory ride height. The owner decided he needed to lift the car. The LS has double wishbone suspension both front and rear. This Darwin nominee unbolted all of his shocks, jacked the car up, then re installed the bolts into the control arms. Then he lowered the car until the bottom of the damper rested on the bolt, then he welded them together.

This whole car was custom with a K. With it set up this way, the bolt had to be left loose, so that it could allow rotation during suspension travel. Thats just what you want, a steel bolt carrying all the weight of a heavy car, rocking back and forth in an aluminium control arm. Not only that, but it negated the bushing, making for lots of road noise (as if rubber band tires didnt make it bad enough).

To top all this off, the genius did not tighten the lower ball joints. Because they are loaded joints, this meant they hung a whole inch down the ball joint shaft. A world away from being tight in the control arm. This allowed the knuckle to rock in all directions by an asinine amount. No doubt about it, this car should NOT be on the road.

Dont believe me? I got video.

The first part shows how much the wheel/tire/knuckle can move depending on braking or steering. Then I pointed the cameral (phone, sorry) towards the modified strut. You can see the bolt, and above it the sleeve and bushing where the bolt should go. Sorry about the audio, something got lost in translation.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeZjhpEvJTE[/youtube]

All that stupid, just for an inch of lift. The best part is, if he ever wants to replace the struts, he will need control arms too (already does from the loose ball joint), and everything will have to be cut out of the car. I just dont understand people. :facepalm:

I wish we had safety inspections here in MN. I dont even like getting on the highway because of cars like this.


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Mr1der
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sweet jesus.

did you verbally berate the owner for this huge act of negligence?

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Jesda
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Poor Lincoln! I'm going to go around sticking Hyundai badges on all of them so the ghetto blasters don't take interest.

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Dattebayo
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Yo Ian, I have new info in my brake thread. Check it out bro! You've helped so much lately.

I wonder why the big wheels are such a big deal now... It makes any car look like a horse-driven carriage.

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alms24sebring
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Nooooooo!! vid is no good for me. MUST SEE

danshaz82
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Image

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IanS
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danshaz82 wrote:Image
:rotfl :rotfl :rotfl

My wife is all confused about why I am sitting here cracking up. That picture made me lol.
alms24sebring wrote:Nooooooo!! vid is no good for me. MUST SEE
Hold on, I will load it on FB.

Edit: there you go, see if that works.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video. ... 9669473019

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krash
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:squint:

....BUT LOOK AT DEM REEEEEYMMMZZZ DAWG!!!

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PEZi
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FlatBlackIan wrote:Envision an early model Lincoln LS fitted with a set of 22" wheels that looked about as proportionate as double Ds on Katy Perry.
but.... i'm confused.... one of these things is good and the other isn't :gotme

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Urabus GodofTraction
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Probably will graduate to hellaflush VWs once he makes manager at Best Buy.

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IanS
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charlieo wrote:Probably will graduate to hellaflush VWs once he makes manager at Best Buy.
I think it more likely he will graduate to a Dodge magnum with 24"s once his "baby momma" fires out her 3rd kid.

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ADDirishboy
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Oh sweet jesus....

Please tell me you got in a few choice words to this idiot.

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nissangirl74
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Holy damn :picard:

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MinisterofDOOM
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charlieo wrote:Probably will graduate to hellaflush VWs once he makes manager at Best Buy.
Nah, Monte Carlo with fender portholes.

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adrianfromthecastle
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lolz wow

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4cefed
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Speechless....




I can't even process what I've just seen.

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Jesda
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charlieo wrote:Probably will graduate to hellaflush VWs once he makes manager at Best Buy.
:rotflmao

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Dano
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NIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

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raremotive
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Now that is something new. Steel bolt naturally carries the weight anyways, but those welds will give eventually. Be funny if they all go at the same time too.

Personally if I had to work on it, I would give the keys back to the owner and tell him that it's a liability on the road and I refuse to service it.

And lastly did you ask him if he was part of any pimp'my'ride forum that had a diy on this? I am weary enough seeing those carriages on the road, they flop around a lot to be driving near them.

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MellowZ32
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Holy crap! :facepalm: :tisk:
FlatBlackIan wrote:Envision an early model Lincoln LS fitted with a set of 22" wheels that looked about as proportionate as double Ds on Katy Perry.
what's wrong with double D's on miss Perry? :confused:

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IanS
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Rare_f8 wrote:Now that is something new. Steel bolt naturally carries the weight anyways, but those welds will give eventually. Be funny if they all go at the same time too.

Personally if I had to work on it, I would give the keys back to the owner and tell him that it's a liability on the road and I refuse to service it.
Yes the bolt carries the weight, but it is meant to be tight in the control arm. The bushing is supposed to allow rotation during suspension stroke. Because the bushing was eliminated, the bolt forced to pivot back and forth. Its not the bolt I am worried about, its the control arm. Aluminium is soft, and that steel bolt is going to chew its way through the whole control arm in a hurry. Ive seen it happen. Unless the ball joint gets there first though. The hole for the ball joint was already at least twice its original size.

That is exactly what happened. We backed the car out, and told the owner the car was a danger to everyone, and he needed to GTFO.
MellowS13 wrote: what's wrong with double D's on miss Perry? :confused:
It would be neat to look at, and some people might dig it, but in reality it just looks wrong.

Big boobs belong on big girls. I prefer my women to be more on the petite side. Different strokes.

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Loki
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FlatBlackIan wrote:
charlieo wrote:Probably will graduate to hellaflush VWs once he makes manager at Best Buy.
I think it more likely he will graduate to a Dodge magnum with 24"s once his "baby momma" fires out her 3rd kid.
Yo dawg, my car has the same name as the condumbs i use dawg! BALLAR!!

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Poyzinous
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It just takes one drunken night plowing over a curb before he levels his car into the ground for good. I dont think that car is good enough for a destruction derby...

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ADDirishboy
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What was his reaction when you guys told him you wouldn't do the work and that his "donk"-mobile was unsafe?

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szh
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Unfortunately, no longer a Nissan or Infiniti, but continuing here at NICO!
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I am glad you took a video of this disaster! Keep it safe and undeleted.

You never know ... when he has an accident, I bet he will come back and claim that you guys messed up his alignment! :tisk:

Z

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Koshin
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people do funny things to cars

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IanS
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szh wrote:I am glad you took a video of this disaster! Keep it safe and undeleted.

You never know ... when he has an accident, I bet he will come back and claim that you guys messed up his alignment! :tisk:

Z
We didnt do an alignment. We refused service for liability reasons. And he was a little pissed about it.

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Koshin
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YOU SHOULDVE TOLD HIM TO GO TO jIFFY lUBE

Klits562
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ADDirishboy wrote:What was his reaction when you guys told him you wouldn't do the work and that his "donk"-mobile was unsafe?
I wouldn't be suprised if they weren't the first place to refuse them service.

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AZ89two4Tsx
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MoD should do this to his LS! :bigthumb:


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