Alright guys and gals, I am starting another personal thread...............

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

but before i start i would like to say that i am sorry for puttig these on here. it is just that sometimes when i am in doubt i like to know that there are certain people out there that are just like me. sorry if it bothers people that i share my life on these posts but its hard to find people to talk to when you are the only person you know for like almost 40 miles in every direction............................

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

how does a man get a womans attention? i feel that i am just lacking the skills to sweep a woman i might be interested in off her feet. i hardly know the lady but i feel i have known her my whole life. it is almost a little strange because she is almost identical to me in every single way except for the fact she is obviously a female. i am so frustrated in how i am feeling. its like when i talk to her on the phone or on the net i can tell her anything that is on my mind. but when i she her in person i can't even get anything out about what i feel. i guess i am so intimidated by her great personality and attitude towards all in her life. i don't know if she might be interested in anyone at this time but i do know she is single. we seem to get alnog really great. all i do is think about her. and you know what people it doesn't even matter what she looks like, i don't have to have the most beautiful person in the world or anything like that, i don't feel that i am that great looking of a man but i try in taking care of myself and how i live. in a relationship i don't think looks are all that. i think that if it is going to be a special one it should be based on much more than that. also we live about 30-40 miles away. i think she might think that is a bit of a long distance but i keep reminding her that in my job i can drive up to 300 miles a day in my travels. i just feel like this could be one of the greatest opportunities to come around in my life and i would really love to see something to come of it. i would probably do everything in my power to make things work out if she were to just give me a chance. she is just sooooo special to me and i hope things work out. even if in the end, we are just friends................

so what do i do people? how do i win over the heart or such a rare and special person?

Post by **ceniack** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

how old are you (just curious)?

what ever you do, don't tell her that all you do is think about her and all that (at least not off the bat) you will push her away. but you should still be honest just tell her that you would like to take her out on a date sometime (not the movies though, that is a terrible date, you don't get to talk and stuff). take her to ride go-karts, or mini-golf or something where you can interact. see if things go well and keep upping the dates each time (as far as expense and how elaborate they are) you don't want to take her to some really expensive resturant right off the bat because then she will start to expect at least that (or more than likely for you to out do yourself) which can get kind of expensive.

and most importatly, be yourself. not fair to her (or you) for her to fall for you when she things you are someone else

hope that helps

also... http://www.askmen.com is a pretty good site for advice about this kinda stuff

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

wow that sounds that sounds really great. and before i tell you my age don't give me any bull **** about being too young to want to feel like this. but i am 20.

Post by **C-Kwik** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

You have to realize a couple of things. There is nothing that you can do that will guarantee you end up with her or that you even get a date. Rejection is ALWAYS a possibility. Once you accept that, then you have to understand there are things you can do to try and influence her. Most girls will act somewhat disinterested at first. Getting past this is usually the hardest step. My advice. Just talk to her. Being able to be friends is really more important than just the attraction. Even with people you just meet, it's important to a girl that if it is to become a long term relationship that you can be her friend. If you've broken past this point, and it's heading somewhere, you'll know it. A good gauge of how to know if a girl is into you is to ask her out. Make it casual. If she says yes, that's a good sign. If when you go out, there is a good amount of flirting and such invoved, that's a really good sign. At this point just make a move and you'll know for sure. Either way, you've gotta take the chance. You'll regret it more if you do not.

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

so i just need to chill and let time sort things out? i'd give her all the time in the world.

Post by **Anand** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

I have a feeling I know who the girl *might* be...

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

oh yeah?

well let's not say anything just yet man aight?

Post by **NoStickers** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

Don't wait to do anything b/c I have and the next thing, poof ...shes gone.

Post by **ceniack** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

i wasn't going to give you BS about your age, but that does make a difference, if you were like 15 or 16 i would say you are too young, but 18+ you are a big enough boy to decide things. i have had several friends get married right outa high school and they are doing fine

what the other guys said is good advice too

Post by **Mr1der** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

all the advice I can give is to just be yourself.

well, be a bigger d!ck then you normally would anyway, that way when the woman gets to know you a little better it'll "surprise" her and she'll think you're a really good person.

it's called the "bad guy" approach.

me however, I'm just really a d!ck.

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

NoStickers, that is what i am affraid of. i haven't had the best of luck so far with women.

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

so be a d!ck

well that just isn't in my nature. i can do that when someone is pissing me off but not when they are being hospitable......i usually do just act like myself no matter what. i do agree that people change for the worst sometimes overtime but that just goes to show that in the beginning it was all a huge front.

Post by **Mr1der** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

it's a hard thing to do if it's not your nature.

it wasn't mine for the longest time really, then people just kept pushing me.

sometimes you gotta dig in and hit like Ray Lewis.

Checkered-Member · Post by **Checkered-Member** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

C-Kwik wrote:You have to realize a couple of things. There is nothing that you can do that will guarantee you end up with her or that you even get a date. Rejection is ALWAYS a possibility. Once you accept that, then you have to understand there are things you can do to try and influence her. Most girls will act somewhat disinterested at first. Getting past this is usually the hardest step. My advice. Just talk to her. Being able to be friends is really more important than just the attraction. Even with people you just meet, it's important to a girl that if it is to become a long term relationship that you can be her friend. If you've broken past this point, and it's heading somewhere, you'll know it. A good gauge of how to know if a girl is into you is to ask her out. Make it casual. If she says yes, that's a good sign. If when you go out, there is a good amount of flirting and such invoved, that's a really good sign. At this point just make a move and you'll know for sure. Either way, you've gotta take the chance. You'll regret it more if you do not.

C-Kwik you are my hero, I look up to you, you know so much about everything, I hope that one day I can be just like you.

Ok enough with the butt kissing…Back to topic.

I’ll give you 4 advices

1. Easy come easy go, if it will take you years to form a relationship, it will last forever.2. We are men, we will never truly understand women, its something we all have to live with.3. if it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be4. Listen to C-Kwik.

Post by **NoStickers** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

Hey I've been lied to or cheated on by everyone of my girlfriends but I'm still tickin. And maybe you should get your butt offa here and give her a call...

Post by **Anand** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

Just go for it...

OH and if people think about this just a little... they will be able to guess who it is...

You don't have anything to loose... you already have a good friendship with her...

If you can't have a relationship with her than be a great friend..

take the risk and ask her out.... who knows maybe she feels the same way??? especially after this thread...

Post by **The Mic** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

ceniack wrote:how old are you (just curious)?

what ever you do, don't tell her that all you do is think about her and all that (at least not off the bat) you will push her away. but you should still be honest just tell her that you would like to take her out on a date sometime (not the movies though, that is a terrible date, you don't get to talk and stuff). take her to ride go-karts, or mini-golf or something where you can interact. see if things go well and keep upping the dates each time (as far as expense and how elaborate they are) you don't want to take her to some really expensive resturant right off the bat because then she will start to expect at least that (or more than likely for you to out do yourself) which can get kind of expensive.

and most importatly, be yourself. not fair to her (or you) for her to fall for you when she things you are someone else

hope that helps

also... http://www.askmen.com is a pretty good site for advice about this kinda stuff

Dead on , that is by far teh best post about these kind of things i have seen since, well..... ever. and im usually a stubborn critic about these kind of things.

and yeah you beat me to the askmen link, i was gonna do that too heh

Jaypat83: i have a gf , were both 17. she lives in van nuys and i live in pomona. Distance wise thats a a lot inbetween. were talking like 100 mi from one another's house. we make it work by phone calls, seeing each other at least once a week and meeting half way. she gets really suprised if i show up unannouced at her work. I usually never go to her house bc a round trip from my house would leave me with a 1/4 from a full tank so it can get a bit pricey. its hard enough of finding a your-type chick in your area let alone the same area code, so if you guys have fun when together, itll work.

Post by **fiznat** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

dont be afraid of her. thats pretty much #1 for me. I wasted so much time in highschool and college being afraid of girls that I liked, worried that they might not like me back or worse, whatever. You really gotta just take a chance sometimes and make the first move: ask her out for a casual date where she wont feel threatened (someplace where there will be other people around is good), but you still get a chance to talk one on one and have a good time finding eachother out. If she says no, it'll probably hurt, but at least you'll know and you can move on to something else.

If she's so great, she's worth taking a risk for.

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

she is going to freak when she sees this thread! and i keep telling myself that this untimely move to the area and away from home might actually not have been a bad thing after all.

Post by **Anand** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

be up front about it.. Be honest and just aks her out... that's the only way you will know...

Oh and one thing... Your girlfriend just broke up with you... You are very vounerable(sp) right now...

I kinda just thought that... You Should take some time alone and just be cool.. because you are on the rebound right now. and might screw things up...

IMHO, chill out for now, dont think of your feelings.... Be friends. relax, get your old GF out of the way... get over that whole thing.

Settle down in your new environment and THEN see where you stand with her...

you get what I'm saying???

Post by **The Mic** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

how will she this thread?

if your gonna show it to her DONT. itll make you seem like a wimp who cant say it to her face.

Post by **Anand** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

I'll tell you one thing.

If it is meant to be then it will.. No need to force it!

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

don't force anything. no i won't show her, she is part of this forum. its not hard to get over someone who left you for another and never appreciated me and everything i did for the *****! nice guys finish last, i have seen that first hand.

Post by **supra brit** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

just be yourself, especially in person. it's one thing to say things on the phone or over the computer, but anyone could do that. don't feel like you have to hide your feelings around people. there's no reason to "censor" who you are, or pretend you're someone you're not, just as much as theres no reason to be shy or doubt youself. just give things a little bit of time; don't try to rush it. get over that initial shyness, and see where things go from there. i'm sure you'll finger it out Jay.

Post by **Anand** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

I'm not saying that you are forcing anything

I'm just saying that you might need to kind of stay single for a while and think things out.. you are all caught up in emotions...

you need closure with the past inorder for you to be good with the present and then can think of the future..

trust me.. I know what I'm talking about.

Oh and as far as this thread is concerned... we can get it deleted if you don't want her to see it!

Post by **Anand** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

sometimes you can scare someone if you are not carefull

Post by **Anand** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

2nrchic wrote:just be yourself, especially in person. it's one thing to say things on the phone or over the computer, but anyone could do that. don't feel like you have to hide your feelings around people. there's no reason to "censor" who you are, or pretend you're someone you're not, just as much as theres no reason to be shy or doubt youself. just give things a little bit of time; don't try to rush it. get over that initial shyness, and see where things go from there. i'm sure you'll finger it out Jay.

bada bing bada bang..

there is your answer!!

Post by **JayPat83** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

:yummy

i guess i'll just see in time what it might take.

Post by **supra brit** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:10 pm

Hmm...is that icon you!? heheh!

Alright guys and gals, I am starting another personal thread...............

Alright guys and gals, I am starting another personal thread...............

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