Why are there so many personal attacks?

[Cali 2 Balti G]

My observations are this.

There often is little distinction between objective Fact, subjective Opinion and Personal Attack.

Ex. Here is a picture of my new custom fit slip covers.

Fact - they are seat covers, me the OP apparently likes them

Opinion - uh - those are not for me, remind me of my mothers couch etc. It's ok to have a negative opinion (defined as not liking or caring for whatever the subject is) of a thing - but the problem occurs when the opinion of the thing becomes the opinion of the person that owns said thing - this is when it becomes a personal attack. I've learned to keep most of my negative opinions to myself - because once expressed - they have in the past lead to negative attacks - or dismissed as - oh that is the G35 guy (and whatever stereotype goes along with that). Besides more often than not another AC owner will state the same opinion - so no need for me to fall on that sword.

Personal Attack - Why did you mess up the car with those ugly A$$ seat covers, that is so rice, ghetto etc etc etc. Personal attacks are pretty easy to detect as they often include the word YOU combined with a choice derogatory term like suck, rice, ghetto, gangbanger, etc., etc.

Observation - no grown man is going to sit back and be disrespected.

Once you get to personal attacks - then is when tempers flare -and it is no longer about the slip covers in this example. On this forum personal attacks are often allowed to linger - and it is often the person that responds to the personal attack that is given the foul. (who ultimately gets the foul is often related to how popular or not the person is)

There are probably very few topics that we all agree on - but just remember that this forum belongs to no one individual or mind set. We all choose to come here to share and learn - not to be insulted. Agree to disagree when appropriate - and try to speak to your other forum members as if you were in the same room with them.

Finally, this is directed at no one person - but everyone who frequents the forum. I wrote this to try to call for calm and respect.

Good Luck.

[windex]

AMEN! I too wonder why so many ideas get attacked. I guess its just people who have nothing better to do.

[vkyolv]

AMEN! I too wonder why so many ideas get attacked. I guess its just people who have nothing better to do.

Bad attitudes mostly...

Although, I am guilty of feeling by another member [or Troll ] and that makes me come out of the corner like

And both are a

Sorry, I am bored...I am reloading my laptop.

[mcheddadi]

, make OP's post a sticky lol!

[rjdmmfl1]

My observations are this.

There often is little distinction between objective Fact, subjective Opinion and Personal Attack.

Ex. Here is a picture of my new custom fit slip covers.

Fact - they are seat covers, me the OP apparently likes them

Opinion - uh - those are not for me, remind me of my mothers couch etc. It's ok to have a negative opinion (defined as not liking or caring for whatever the subject is) of a thing - but the problem occurs when the opinion of the thing becomes the opinion of the person that owns said thing - this is when it becomes a personal attack. I've learned to keep most of my negative opinions to myself - because once expressed - they have in the past lead to negative attacks - or dismissed as - oh that is the G35 guy (and whatever stereotype goes along with that). Besides more often than not another AC owner will state the same opinion - so no need for me to fall on that sword.

Personal Attack - Why did you mess up the car with those ugly A$$ seat covers, that is so rice, ghetto etc etc etc. Personal attacks are pretty easy to detect as they often include the word YOU combined with a choice derogatory term like suck, rice, ghetto, gangbanger, etc., etc.

Observation - no grown man is going to sit back and be disrespected.

Once you get to personal attacks - then is when tempers flare -and it is no longer about the slip covers in this example. On this forum personal attacks are often allowed to linger - and it is often the person that responds to the personal attack that is given the foul. (who ultimately gets the foul is often related to how popular or not the person is)

There are probably very few topics that we all agree on - but just remember that this forum belongs to no one individual or mind set. We all choose to come here to share and learn - not to be insulted. Agree to disagree when appropriate - and try to speak to your other forum members as if you were in the same room with them.

Finally, this is directed at no one person - but everyone who frequents the forum. I wrote this to try to call for calm and respect.

Good Luck.

Cali, I hate you... ....j/k of course I'm joking, and your points are well articulated and valid... this is my thing regarding the personal attacks... if folks come on here, they have 7 posts, and are just saying something disrespectful like..." those rims are UGLY", and they have no contructive criticism, then they are gonna get flamed, period. Especially if no one asked them for their opinion!

You yourself have made some incendiary remarks in the past, and have had your share of run ins with members on this forum also, but over time your comments have calmed down and now you're a heck of a lot more mellow.

Well, there's a bunch of newbs that come on here, thinking they can just insult anyone and folks are gonna just be cool with it, and they aren't.

Having also been involved in these disputes on this forum, I can say that i have personally felt any attacks I've made were justified given the circumstances, that doesn't make them right in some folks eyes, but again, that's how I felt at the time.

Just to harp on a recent situation, a dude took a couple of unecessary jabs on one of my threads... I played them off a few times, but then, after I realized this was the same dude that asked folks how they felt about his rims, I told him how I felt about them, pretty much in the same uneccesary manner in which he stated his opinions about my products. Now, I had seen his post earlier, and didn;t like the wheels, but I didn't say anything because it would have been unnecessary to just say i don't like your wheels... but when I saw that he did the same thing, I thought he could handle a negative comment, and we see what happened.

So, again, I def appreciate this post Cali and I agree we could all possibly e more civil towards other forums members, whether they are newbs or not, but again, you're gonna still get ignorant people that don't provide ANY positive advice on this forum who just come on every few days and say "those rims are ugly"... and when that happens, I think the forum members are gonna deal with him accordingly.

Also, I don't think its a matter of popular vs non popular, I think its a matter of peoploe that actually make a positive contribution to this forum vs those that ALWAYS have negative things to say the few times they are on here. If it comes down to it, folks have a tendency to err on the side of the more productive member rather than the one with "Troll like" posts!

[LongBeachCoupe]

I dont mind the occasional bickering, or "those are ugly" (most people who say these things are stock to some degree, or dead on accurate lol)..

What i do mind is the "he must be: black, korean, jewish, short, bald, stupid, honky (lol), crackerjack"

If you dont like the way someones car looks and cant hold it in... say it... "i dont dig them" or "not my style".... and you can always go back to the old school.... "would my mom be happy if she heard me saying this"

[maxentropy]

People forget what the forums are really for and tend to get snobby. They get sick of newcommers that don't use search and whatnot. Sometimes I don't blame them.

In the end, everyone just needs to use common sense but also remember that this is.. just a forum and thus being it is very easy to dis someone via electronic means when you are miles away from that other person and sitting comfortable in your home behind a computer screen.

I try not to post anything that I wouldn't say to anyone's face. Then again, I am very blunt and a smarta$$ too...

[SHIFT_COUPE]

Wtf? I'm gone for 3 days at a show and what the hell happened?

You guys can't hold it together for a bit?

I'm slowly taking a look through some threads to catch up on what I missed. Most importantly, I hate seeing us go at it over anything.

Funny part is, it took a G owner to point some things out in this thread.

[adidas2go]

Wtf? I'm gone for 3 days at a show and what the hell happened?

You guys can't hold it together for a bit?

I'm slowly taking a look through some threads to catch up on what I missed. Most importantly, I hate seeing us go at it over anything.

Funny part is, it took a G owner to point some things out in this thread.

Well it doesn't really take a psychologist to figure out we fight....But way to give the G owners another reason one up the coupe owners

[LongBeachCoupe]

Its like dont tell mom the babysitter's dead... the second mom (tyler) leaves... people start clay-shooting dishes

[mcheddadi]

I love you guys! *group hug*

[stsxcrle]

Its like dont tell mom the babysitter's dead... the second mom (tyler) leaves... people start clay-shooting dishes

I was just thinking today that the forums have been a little more heated than normal...

[AZhitman]

I think the OP has some good points - Ones we should ALL be adhering to.

[Cali 2 Balti G]

Cali, I hate you... ....j/k of course I'm joking, and your points are well articulated and valid... this is my thing regarding the personal attacks... if folks come on here, they have 7 posts, and are just saying something disrespectful like..." those rims are UGLY", and they have no contructive criticism, then they are gonna get flamed, period. Especially if no one asked them for their opinion!

You yourself have made some incendiary remarks in the past, and have had your share of run ins with members on this forum also, but over time your comments have calmed down and now you're a heck of a lot more mellow.

Well, there's a bunch of newbs that come on here, thinking they can just insult anyone and folks are gonna just be cool with it, and they aren't.

Having also been involved in these disputes on this forum, I can say that i have personally felt any attacks I've made were justified given the circumstances, that doesn't make them right in some folks eyes, but again, that's how I felt at the time.

Just to harp on a recent situation, a dude took a couple of unecessary jabs on one of my threads... I played them off a few times, but then, after I realized this was the same dude that asked folks how they felt about his rims, I told him how I felt about them, pretty much in the same uneccesary manner in which he stated his opinions about my products. Now, I had seen his post earlier, and didn;t like the wheels, but I didn't say anything because it would have been unnecessary to just say i don't like your wheels... but when I saw that he did the same thing, I thought he could handle a negative comment, and we see what happened.

So, again, I def appreciate this post Cali and I agree we could all possibly e more civil towards other forums members, whether they are newbs or not, but again, you're gonna still get ignorant people that don't provide ANY positive advice on this forum who just come on every few days and say "those rims are ugly"... and when that happens, I think the forum members are gonna deal with him accordingly.

Also, I don't think its a matter of popular vs non popular, I think its a matter of peoploe that actually make a positive contribution to this forum vs those that ALWAYS have negative things to say the few times they are on here. If it comes down to it, folks have a tendency to err on the side of the more productive member rather than the one with "Troll like" posts!

RJDMMFLLet's be clear an incendiary comment here (as it relates to me) on the AC forum often is a comment that is somehow critiquing (or not glowing positive about) the AC - this alone often results in a personal attack and that's not right. I try not to make any negative AC comments for this reason and more so because the same statements I think about saying are often said by AC owners. And I definitely do not do personal attacks - feel free to quote me doing so. SO I would say no - I haven't calmed down - because I'm always calm - unless I'm threatened.

I see you have calmed down -- it's funny because from reading some of the posts I can see you holding back your natural reaction from time to time.

Although I really wasn't trying to make this personal I can't lie - the recent overlay thread struck me - because I was led to a similiar point in the past- where I felt the need to say hey - "them is fighting words". Also I'm also 37 just like he is.

But again - I'm not directing this post at you DR. but to everyone. The Dr. Rob and I are cool - we squashed our "beef" off line.

Addidas - for the record - it's not about any G35 one-upmanship - for me it is about the fact that I might meet you, Dr. Rob, Longbeach or anybody else on this forum one day and I'm not going to say anything here that I wouldn't say in person. Im similiar to Maxentropy on that one.


Modified by Cali 2 Balti G at 5:11 PM 5/12/2008

[Cali 2 Balti G]

Oh - before I forget - there was a thread a while back where the OP was asking what color to paint his engine cover on a silver Altima. I revived the post because I recently painted my engine cover - body color on my car which has a silver irredescence color. A few of you commented and universally didn't like my result or preferred the original unpainted version better. That didn't bother me because that is you guys opinion.

What really surprised me was that no-one said it was ugly (EASY NOW GUYS). That actually made me feel good about you guys - and I think I got a little misty around the eyes.

[rjdmmfl1]

RJDMMFLLet's be clear an incendiary comment here on the AC forum often is a comment that is somehow critiquing (or not glowing positive about) the AC - this alone often results in a personal attack and that's not right. I try not to make any negative AC comments for this reason and more so because the same statements I think about saying are often said by AC owners. And I definitely do not do personal attacks - feel free to quote me doing so. SO I would say no - I haven't calmed down - because I'm always calm - unless I'm threatened.

I see you have calmed down -- it's funny because from reading some of the posts I can see you holding back your natural reaction from time to time.

Although I really wasn't trying to make this personal I can't lie - the recent overlay thread struck me - because I was led to a similiar point - where I felt the need to say hey - "them is fighting words". Also I'm also 37 just like he is.

But again - I'm not directing this post at you DR. but to everyone. The Dr. Rob and I are cool - we squashed our "beef" off line.

Addidas - for the record - it's not about any G35 one-upmanship - for me it is about the fact that I might meet you, Dr. Rob, Longbeach or anybody else on this forum one day and I'm not going to say anything here that I wouldn't say in person. Im similiar to Maxentropy on that one.

Cali, come on dude, you haven't made any iincendiary remarks... hold up, I'm gonna go see if I find the one I'm thinking of , and its not the poor man's G35 one either...

and yes, i would say I have calmed down, and I do hold back my true feelings a lot now ... in the end, its not worth it when tempers are gonna flare..

[Cali 2 Balti G]

Cali, come on dude, you haven't made any iincendiary remarks... hold up, I'm gonna go see if I find the one I'm thinking of , and its not the poor man's G35 one either...

and yes, i would say I have calmed down, and I do hold back my true feelings a lot now ... in the end, its not worth it when tempers are gonna flare..

yes yes life is too short and I rather have you as an ally than an enemy. We can argue cars over beers not bullets

[rjdmmfl1]

On behalf of my extended family... one love...

yes yes life is too short and I rather have you as an ally than an enemy. We can argue cars over beers not bullets

Modified by rjdmmfl1 at 5:38 PM 5/12/2008

[08altima35]

this sh*t is kinda funny, but so very true. i've had my beefs with other folks on here, but it's not anything more than just a online dispute. it's not like we start calling each other names. well, i take that back. some have, but not really the people that have been posting in here for long time now. having different personalities is part of what makes nico great. it's more than just a info. forum. you kinda get to know the people on here that post alot and you can sometimes predict their posts before they post (not saying anyone here is predictable, but you guys/gals know what i mean). personally i believe i've had slight online beefs with dr feelgood, adidas, longbeach just to name a few, but it's just online and would buy any one of them a beer if i stumbled accross them in the real world. what we all have in common is the love for our altima coupes and means to share our ideas whether they're considered rediculous or not. it's a great place, regardless of the disputes.

[rjdmmfl1]

this sh*t is kinda funny, but so very true. i've had my beefs with other folks on here, but it's not anything more than just a online dispute. it's not like we start calling each other names. well, i take that back. some have, but not really the people that have been posting in here for long time now. having different personalities is part of what makes nico great. it's more than just a info. forum. you kinda get to know the people on here that post alot and you can sometimes predict their posts before they post (not saying anyone here is predictable, but you guys/gals know what i mean). personally i believe i've had slight online beefs with dr feelgood, adidas, longbeach just to name a few, but it's just online and would buy any one of them a beer if i stumbled accross them in the real world. what we all have in common is the love for our altima coupes and means to share our ideas whether they're considered rediculous or not. it's a great place, regardless of the disputes.

[adidas2go]

I agree with all the above. I love you guys, but for christ sakes, ITS ADIDAS!!!!! For the 1000th time CaliG haha

[TheBourneAltimatum]

damnit guys...leave Reebok2go alone

[audtatious]

Realize that bickering, jabbing, flaming and trolling are not generally allowed on NICO. It happens of course, as it's bound to. NICO is about community as can be seen via the growing NICOfest events we put on each year (Carlisle was this past weekend and Stillen get-together is coming up). No other forum tries to press forth cross-gen and cross-platform camaraderie like we do. We try to give back to the members and Greg is heavily invested into the community instead of pocketing the proceeds from advertising and such like other forums do.

I take this thread as the next step to get all the Altima members on the same page. This forum is taking off and it's because of the great member base here. Sure, noobz will ask the same question over and over and some people won't properly communicate their opinions, but at the end of the day you guys are the reason this forum is growing to be the best Altima forum out there.

[LongBeachCoupe]

Thank you, Thank you... First id like to thank my mom, for raising me right... My dad for letting me drive when i was 11.. and greg, for creating a place for me/us to learn and share experiences

[mcheddadi]

LOL

I think the only time I ever argued with someone here is when shift2.5S was around, but now since he disappeared, it all calm and dandy

If any of you guys come around here (OH, CANADA) I'll be happy to take you out for a drink or take you on for a race hehe

[stsxcrle]

ya, between your arguments with Shift 2.5 and creating that thread asking for a new mod, you had a pretty crazy "childhood" at Nico....

I think that's a good example of everyone needing a little time to get used to each others personalities though.

[rjdmmfl1]

ya, between your arguments with Shift 2.5 and creating that thread asking for a new mod, you had a pretty crazy "childhood" at Nico....

I think that's a good example of everyone needing a little time to get used to each others personalities though.

nope, that's before we knew that Mchedaddi had God like powers with photoshop... and everyone knows that if they piss off nogears and mchedaddi, then none of their photoshoppiong requests will get answered...

[maxentropy]

We should all just make babies.

[mcheddadi]

nope, that's before we knew that Mchedaddi had God like powers with photoshop... and everyone knows that if they piss off nogears and mchedaddi, then none of their photoshoppiong requests will get answered...

LOOOOOOL!

[stsxcrle]

We should all just make babies.

Oh boy.