When will the piniata violence end/

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themadscientist
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We of the paper mache animal rights group Pinata's Understand Stick Strike Induced Fatality Is Evil Dude would like to remind you that at your next party, before you engage in the mindless slaughter of these noble animals for sport and candy, think of how they suffer.

Do the right thing and secure the services of a "no kill" piniata. These brave volunteers have undergone painful surgery to allow them to dispense candy without the need for child-altering violence and wanton death of the "traditional" method. They do this so that they may save the very lives of their brothers and sisters who were raised to be ruthlessly murdered at the hands of bloodthirsty children wielding sticks and driven by chocolate-denied rage.

By simply pulling a string, not unlike the ones that dangle from our ginas both man and vag, the childrens' disturbing sugar-addiction, which is alarming and makes you a bad parent for facilitating, will be momentarily sated without the needless death of an innocent pinata.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/articl ... tml?cat=25
A blindfolded child is let up to some poor helpless papier-mâché animal hanging off a tree by a string. They have a stick or a bat in their hand, and they proceed to whack the animal with all their might.
Other children are cheering on the fight. When the piñata is broken open, candy spills out. Everyone rushes to grab as much candy as they can. It's every kid for them self.

Doesn't sound like such a good party game when it's put like that, huh?

Piñatas are not a good idea for your child's party. Children should never hit anything with a stick. Even worse, kids can get piñatas in their favorite character too. Doesn't anyone slightly cringe at the thought of their child whacking Dora the Explorer or Elmo around with a baseball bat? What is that doing for a child's character? Getting a flower or car piñata is only slightly less worse.

People carefully teach their children, from the first time they playfully hit as a baby, that hitting is wrong. They don't allow hitting in their family and they don't spank. But then children are allowed to hit piñatas to the breaking point. Then they get candy; they are rewarded for violent behavior!


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frapjap
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No wonder American kids are pussified and can't do anything for themselves.

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sx moneypit
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:ohsnap :ohno:

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RCA
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They banded freeze tag in NY public schools because of "violence"...

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sbird1
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RCA wrote:They banded freeze tag in NY public schools because of "violence"...
Wait, is that a true statement? This country is really starting to piss me off.

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MinisterofDOOM
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I've gotta be frank:

I only settle for Piñatas because it's illegal to bash environmentalists with sticks until candy comes out of them.

It should be noted that preliminary testing indicates that a significant amount of impacts may be required to reach the candy dispensation threshold in environmentalists. To date, no reliable source has claimed to have broken the threshold.

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nissangirl74
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You have GOT to be kidding me!! :facepalm:
sbird1 wrote:
RCA wrote:They banded freeze tag in NY public schools because of "violence"...
Wait, is that a true statement? This country is really starting to piss me off.
It's true. Our kids are all gonna be a bunch of wimps.

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AppleBonker
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nissangirl74 wrote:It's true. Our kids are ll gonna be a bunch of wimps.
How many people are you having kids with? :eek:

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nissangirl74
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AppleBonker wrote:
nissangirl74 wrote:It's true. Our kids are ll gonna be a bunch of wimps.
How many people are you having kids with? :eek:
Society at large. You know what i mean.

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AppleBonker
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Ah, so I'm not part of that "our". :(

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sbird1
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I don't think Greg would approve.

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AppleBonker
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Lulz. I don't think anyone would approve of me having kids...

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Encryptshun
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AppleBonker wrote:Lulz. I don't think anyone would approve of me having kids...
Adam, I for one would rather see you have kids than most of the slack-jawed, mouth-breathing morons who are breeding like rats.

America, please, help control idiot overpopulation. Have your child spayed or neutered.

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AppleBonker
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Encryptshun wrote:America, please, help control idiot overpopulation. Have your child aborted.
ftfy

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Encryptshun
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AppleBonker wrote:
Encryptshun wrote:America, please, help control idiot overpopulation. Kill yourself.
ftfy
ftfyftfm

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OriginalWheelman
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If your kid can't discern the difference between hitting a paper animal and hitting a living being, they have lot more problems than a candy free for all. The first of which is probably an idiot parent.

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Dattebayo
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I'm gonna have a party where we hang up a side of beef and we hit it repeatedly so we tenderize the meat and eat like fricken kings later!

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themadscientist
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Perhaps have the idiot men who propagate these defective genes suspended from a tree and let kids whack their testicles with sticks to end the fail parade at this generation. Success will be rewarded with all the candy they can carry gladly funded by the rest of society.

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OriginalWheelman
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Might as well, they've probably been sitting in the wife's desk collecting dust anyways.


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