WAKE UP DOG, YOU'RE GOING TO CLEVELAND.
I saw an ad for a 2000 Seville STS at a dealership in Cleveland. So, I set sail for the great lakes with $2800 in my pocket.
Packed. Dog food, dog treats, water bowl.
Gadgets and gizmos. iPad was perfect for hotel use. It turns on instantly, connects right away, browses around, pulls down my e-mail, watches some videos, and then its instant-off. I didnt even need to put it on a charger. Unfortunately, my Blackberry uses a program called Tether to run my laptop through RIM's servers, and there is no iPad client, so I brought my laptop just in case.
Well, that's dinner.
Having a long range is great when you're crossing the desert at night, but it unfortunately means you have fewer excuses to stop and stretch.
Truck stops have the best bathroom stalls.
Motel 6 is dog-friendly and lets you check out late. Unfortunately, they're not entirely consistent. The shower heads can be fantastic or awful, but the service is usually good and the price is right. I do miss my 3 and 4-star Priceline deals, but its hard to find a pet-friendly hotel when you bid.
This 6 is nicer than most others.
And wifi is free at most Motel 6 locations. Hyatt and Mariott sometimes charge $15-$20 per day.
I have streaming access to all the TV shows and movies on my computer at home.
2011 is looking to be somewhat boring for new cars.
Why order new business cards when a Sharpie works?
Greasebomb breakfast.
London Ohio, while quite small, was PACKED with traffic at 5am (pic taken at noon). Farmers and truckers wake up early.
Indianapolis
Defunct Lodi GM/Chrysler auto dealership. I see more and more of these empty shells all over the country. Its really quite sad.
Decided to skip the interstate and take the scenic route directly north to Elyria.
Seville Road! This must be fate, right?
Ohio is littered with small towns, mostly attractive and clean. The northern half of the state is beautiful with lots of trees and lakes.
LOLWUT
Reached Elyria. The scenic route was prettier and shaved 20 minutes off the drive.
Arrived at Nick Abraham Buick/Cadillac/Nissan.
The car was pretty dirty inside, though for $2800 it wasn't entirely unreasonable, except...
...every single light and error message was flashing across the display. The car lurched around badly and stalled several times. We never even got off the lot. I thanked them and moved on, and they gladly refunded my deposit.
The next Seville on my list was in Wind Gap, Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, this meant I had to get on the road ASAP and missed out on hanging out with Jerry and Stephanie. [But I'll be back.]
There are active railroads all over Ohio, and they give the state a pleasing American feel.
WHAT THE CRAP IS THAT
Arched bridges are awesome! Apparently this style of architecture is an Ohio trademark.
GREATEST AIR STATION EVER. You set a PSI, put the nozzle on to your valve, and let it blow. It automatically stops and beeps when it reaches the specified pressure. This must be really awesome on cold mornings, and its free!
Sadly, it was night and I missed out on Pennsylvania's scenery.
I rarely had to fill up, but I did anyway just to break up the boredom.
Ran into a NASTY thunderstorm in eastern PA. Visibility was basically how you see it in this picture. I slowed to 45mph and took my time, watching for stalled vehicles, accidents, and deer. Making matters worse, PA is always under heavy construction and lane shifts were impossible to see in the rain. Imagine how unnerving it was for me to suddenly realize my lane was moving 4 feet over while a semi was next to me.
Traveling down PA-33 in these conditions was miserable and slow-moving. Water collected at the bottom of hills and the Volvo crashed into them like a fat man belly flopping into a swimming pool, but the Continental DWS tires I bought handled it well and the car remained in control.
Arrived in Wind Gap, PA after what felt like an eternity. Snuck a pic of the car I was looking at the following day.
Travel Inn, Wind Gap PA. Their English wasn't so great, but the room was clean. $70 got me two beds, which was kind of expensive but supply and demand worked against me.
The rain didn't clear up until noon the following day.
And there it was, a 2001 Seville STS. Ray is the town's trusted mechanic and this is his workshop. He demonstrated a great deal of knowledge, especially regarding the common head gasket issues that affect Northstars, and was very easy to deal with. It was reassuring to see the local townspeople waving and smiling at him as they drove by.
Population: 3000 or so.
We headed to the local post office (tiny little shack) to pick up a $1000 money order. This car, at $3800, was a grand more than the other one in Cleveland and WORTH EVERY PENNY. Its a local car he took on trade, and he had driven it several times to the coast to go work on his boat over the past year. This means it was trustworthy enough to drive all the way home.
Except for the common lumpy dashboard pad (needs glue), the car was in excellent condition inside. The seat belt cover on the driver's seat also needs to be reattached. I think a clip or screw is missing.
He wiped off the price on the windshield and sent us on our way. I'll probably buy more cars from him in the future. He charges whatever the vehicle costs at auction (if I decide to go with him and pick out a car) plus $500.
More room for Newton to stretch out and a softer ride.
This is what PA-33 is supposed to look like in normal weather. It winds through the mountains and has densely packed trees flanking each side of the road. Traffic is sparse and moves briskly.
En route to Scranton, Ian's former hometown, made famous by "The Office"
Scranton looks almost EXACTLY like Spokane, Washington, where I used to live. This view mirrors the view of Spokane when you enter the town on I-90 eastbound.
Nice park downtown. People seem to love using their horns here.
Miss Scranton?
Steamtown Mall
This whole city is a step back into 1989. All the decor at the mall and many of the signs and structures have a Reagan/Bush-era feel to them. I imagined walking around the mall, looking at Tandy computers, and checking out cassettes at Sam Goody. Then we'd go home in the family's Chevy Celebrity and I would watch a new episode of Growing Pains.
Serious time warp, this whole town.
*yawn* Scranton
At Steamtown Mall you can walk out to the rail yard. A real steam train passes under this bridge a few times a day.
Retired cars, being restored.
Inside the steam engine cab. OH GOD SPIDERS BURN IT BURN IT
This is an active rail yard. While we were there some box cars were being pulled and attached.
Inside an old passenger car.
In terms of natural scenery, Scranton is beautiful.
Diesel power. One of my favorite engines.
Anyone know what the big turbine is?
Nice new paint.
DO NOT HUMP
Operational roundhouse in the back.
This railyard was definitely one of the big highlights of this trip.
They drink A LOT OF ORANGE CRUSH in this town.
The NBC kiosk! I picked up three bobble heads (Michael, Creed, Dwight), a Scranton "Electric City" magnet, a black "The Office" door placard, a "World's Best Boss" mug, and a Dundee Award. $92 well spent.
Because of traffic problems, the Scranton sign seen in the credits of "The Office" was moved to the mall.
Ian bought a new Samsung phone. Between the two of us, we spent more money in Scranton than anywhere else on the trip.
Ate at a Red Lobster in Wilkes-Barre. It was WAY overpriced and the haddock was overcooked, but whatever. You eat what you can get.
Dog got a meal from the pet supply store nearby.
The center channel speaker was blown, so I bought a rubber GPS mounting disc at Radio Shack to cover it.
I felt compelled to stop and watch this dirty water.
Several of the locals stopped on the side of the road too. I guess there isn't much else to do.
Drove to the Bank of America building at the top of a hill. From here, Scranton/Wilkes-Barre (pronounced "Wilks Barry") looks like Montana or Wyoming.
LENS FLARE DURING A LATE AFTERNOON, LIKE OUT OF A MICHAEL BAY MOVIE!
ALL THIS SHOT NEEDS IS A RANDOM BIPLANE AND A BUNCH OF ROBOTS
The car has one exterior blemish (and three small dings). This is the one accident reported on Autocheck. Should be an easy fix for my paint guy.
I really, really love this car. Its my third Seville and the first time I've ever owned more than two of anything. Usually, a car gets less interesting the second time around, but I seem to enjoy Sevilles more and more. They're like a hot bowl of clam chowder on a cold December night.
Typical Scrantonians. Old.
Rear parking sensors in action.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
BONUS!!!! I found $6 wedged in the seat cushion.
The rubber disc was insufficient for covering the crackling speaker, so Ian bought a felt pad... then put the disc on top of it. I need to order a center speaker and reglue the dashboard pad.
PA turnpike rocks! Limited entrance points, easy cruising, and barriers on each side to keep deer out. Paid $18 to cross the state.
Gross. Glad I didn't buy these.
On the way into Philly we got lost in Manayunk, which is a weird little place that looks like a tiny Italian village.
http://forum.skyscraperpage.com/showthread.php?t=170394
There's communications cables all over the place and the roads are about three feet wide.
Strange little place. Very interesting. A complete polar opposite of my spacious suburb.
Motel 6 in Gibbstown NJ. The whole area smelled pretty bad, but I got used to it.
Philly! It really is "Always Sunny", at least it was during my one day in town.
Beautiful architecture everywhere, but narrow streets.
Noticed the temp gauge rising. A "check coolant level" message came on. Did I get a Northstar with a blown head gasket? NOPE -- Ian apparently forgot to put the cap back on when he got paranoid and mucked around under the hood back in Jersey. Fortunately, the cap was still under the hood.
Independence Hall.
Oops. Ended up in Camden.
Christine found an awesome $5 parking garage.
Met up first with Matt. Checked out his 240, the now famous car that toured the country earlier this summer.
Christine noticed on Facebook that I was coming to PA. Then she invited Matt, and I looked up Joel (bubba1) and got his number.
Joel and I have a spat going back 8 years regarding Toyota's awfulness and the invalidity of Consumer Reports. He got me a gift -- now I have 200 pages of emergency toilet paper. :P
Ian noted that he looked like Leo Laporte, the guy from ZDTV/TechTV.
I imagined him to have a tobacco pipe and a beard for some reason. I was ready to fight him. I even brought my big scary dog.
Christine took us to Chinatown for some noodles. Since I'm a first-gen immigrant, this was probably her way of accomodating me. I was waiting for her to ask me if I was friends with Pikachu.
[I kid!]
It smelled like a mix of Bangkok and Pike's Place market in Seattle, and I liked it.
HOLY CRAP THATS A BIG BOWL OF PHO. I decked it out with tripe and tendons, the unappreciated bits of goodness. The gelatinous, sweet bits that get left behind.
Christine introduced me to bubble tea, which always sounded gross when described to me but was actually pretty good. It tasted like mom's thai coconut desserts, but more liquidy.
You have to be careful with the straw when sucking the balls at the bottom as they tend to fly up the shaft at high speed. If the balls end up in your throat you could require a reacharound to get relief.
Example: Relief.
Matt
Joel
Christine
I was trying to get everyone's mid-slurp photo without them noticing or giving permission. Christine ruined my awesome action shot by looking at the camera.
I was all like:
And then I:
And finally I:
Ian hates people so he pretended to poop while he disappeared for half an hour.
Actually, Ian later revealed that he clogged the toilet in that tiny restaurant and felt horribly embarrassed because someone went in right after him. I guess that's less awkward than when Christine walked in on a woman sitting on the can (the bathroom door was unlocked). She got an eyeful of sh*tting Chinese lady right before ordering her food, so that was her appetizer.
I snuck a pic of the asian market where I bought Yan Yan and a drink (some shopkeepers don't like when you take pictures of their stores, so I was being subtle).
Ian thought I was taking a creeper pic of the girl, which I wasn't (for once), but since she's in there its a bonus. Nice a**, and I'm going to let myself believe her face was a 10.
Joel said that for a very long time, this pointy government building was the tallest structure in Philadelphia.
A pleasingly jarring mix of modern and historic architecture. While Philadelphia is aged and a bit gritty, its quite charming. The people are friendly and there's always something going on, things to eat, things to see, and places to be. It has the feel of Chicago with MUCH less of the congestion.
Ian, Joel, Matt, Daria, and Newton.
Joel has driven possibly every sports car ever made. I vicariously lived through his vivid and colorful description of the Audi R8. Being a performance driving instructor might be the greatest hobby/job ever, ever, ever, ever. [Ever.]
Matt is the MASTER OF AMERICAN TRAVEL *bow down*
8-700-mile-road-trip-in-a-22-year-old-h ... 03925.html
and Christine is friggin hilarious.
OMG NSX!
A teal green 900 convertible! (I get giddy when I see a classic 900 in good shape)
Joel's stone-reliable 4Runner
Adding distilled water to make up for what was lost when Ian left my cap off.
Unable to find parking near Gino's or Pat's, we decided to stop at Phil's for a cheesesteak instead, which Ian found on the GPS directory.
LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WAS AWESOME. The cheese whiz makes all the difference. I hate how I can't find a cheesesteak like this anywhere else. Provolone is nice, but it doesn't compare to the salty goodness of whiz.
This intersection is spacious, but most of south Philly has narrow carriageways and corridors that cars can barely fit through. Navigating the Cadillac around that maze was like threading a sewing needle with a rope.
Unfortunately, with a research paper due and lots of work to catch up on (and a Volvo to sell) I had to hit the road right after lunch.
I LOVE TUNNELS! PA turnpike rocks.
I bought a cup of meat and cheese.
Since Ian can't drive a stick, he got to enjoy my new car on the drive home while I drove the Volvo.
WTF IS THAT?!?
Ohio, approaching Columbus on 70
The contrast in highway design from PA to OH is dramatic. In PA, four narrow lanes are squeezed into a tight space with tall concrete dividers in between and on each side. Ramps have stop signs.
Out in the midwest, you get 10-lane behemoths in urban areas or four-lane highways with enough space in between to park three semis. Merging lanes are long enough for a 747 to take off.
I kind of like how the stop signs on the ramps in PA keep mergers from disrupting the flow of traffic.
Anyone know what this is?
I got home first but Ian had the house key. I was forced to break in and crawl through my window. As I was crawling, my neighbor came out and his dog barked loudly thinking I was an intruder. I had to explain that I was locked out and no one was home. Thankfully he knew who I was after I gave him an apology gift basket back in July (stereo turned itself on at full blast, remained on all night while I was out of town).
Yes, laying on the ground, the first thing I thought of was to take a photo.
The same night, I got an email from a guy who wanted to buy the Volvo. I hadn't slept at all since arriving home and he was eager to come get the car first thing in the morning. So, I told him I'd pop in the new blower resistor and have it ready for him. Well, the f***ing electrical system in the Volvo is similar to the BMW 7-series. You can't just go around plugging and unplugging things without setting off 20 codes.
It took me 3 hours to get the glove box out and remove the blower and resistor, and then I struggled with the climate control unit that was apparently dead and an air bag failure message that appeared.
Since it was already 4am, I stayed up all night and drove to Brentwood Volvo at 6:30a to get the car fixed. I told the guy coming from Indiana that he needed to wait until I figured out what was going on.
Fortunately, I didn't fry the climate control unit, which is apparently a common and VERY EXPENSIVE problem. They reset the SRS error for free (WHY DOES THE AIR BAG CIRCUITRY RUN THROUGH THE CLIMATE CONTROL UNIT!?!?!?) and replaced the blower, which I apparently shorted somehow.
$650 and everything was fixed, thankfully, with the glove box reinstalled much better than how I left it. I nagged my service writer to put a rush on it and they delivered.
I got $5000 for the Volvo and sent him on his way. He was a stick shift newbie so he had some issues getting used to it, but while the clutch and shifter are heavy in the S60, they're very positive and easy to figure out.
I'm baffled by the monster pile of 20s. He said he had to use the ATM to get the money out because the banks were closed by the time he left. Its sitting here on my desk and the stack is partly obscuring the bottom of my monitor. I feel like a drug dealer.
Bought Volvo: $5300
$150 - tires
$100 - blower resistor
$650 - blower + labor
$33 - tow for fuel pump failure
$0 - fuel pump, recalled
$0 - ETM, warranty extension
$450 - tax, registration, and plates
Miles driven: 4,500
Sale price: $5000
Loss: $1683
Owning yet another interesting piece of the automotive world: Not exactly priceless. In fact, its usually quite expensive.
Now, what do I do with this CR buying guide that Joel gave me? The dog didn't want to eat it.
It won't flush down the toilet.
I guess I'm stuck with it. Its actually a pretty awesome souvenir.
Thanks Joel!
Two big black dots. Consumer Reports hates my car, LOL
I'll post a more detailed review of the Cadillac later.
Sorry to anyone I didn't get to see! It was an unplanned trip.
. It was so awesome seeing everyone. Thanks for calling me and for the meal, Jesda. 
) homoerotic innuendo in the caption.
