Versa Jokes

[TrustME]

Well I'm back again. Haha, I keep taking these vacations from Nico. But I'm going to strive to stay on. I get tied up in other stuff, I completely forget Nico. DON'T HATE ME!!

Anyway, on facebook, I came across a set of "rules" about Nissan Versas. Some of them are funny, some are not. I still thought it would be interesting to show the V owners (I did not make these up!).

RULES FOR VERSA OWNERS:

- NEVER hit another Versa. If you have to, swerve at the sidewalk, into oncoming traffic or, if available, a Honda.

- Never parallel park badly. If you can’t get in a spot in a 3-5 point turn, you weren’t meant to be there. Only soccer moms, sorority girls and high school kids take 20 minutes to finish the drill.

- It is NEVER okay to put a kid’s seat in a Versa. If you have to, strap your kids down on top of your car; it builds character.

- You have a Versa - use it to pick up the ladies. If they don’t bite, they probably have herpes or a Ford, and you’re better off anyways.

- NEVER call a Versa “cute”. You may only use terms that you would use to describe Chuck Norris. Girls with small dogs call cars “cute”. Girls with small dogs also go to jail and live thankless, unhappy lives as trophy wives. Are you a trophy wife? No. You own a Nissan.

- NEVER put a hitch on a Versa. It’s made for many things, but not that. If you have to, strap the trailer to the kid on the roof. It also builds character.

- NEVER tell anyone how much you actually paid for your Versa. If somebody finds out, you need three things: a lawyer, a blunt object and somewhere to hide the body.

- NEVER own a Honda and a Versa at the same time. The Honda will most likely feel incapable and cheap, thus committing ritualistic suicide in your garage, leaving you with hours of cleanup and disposal. If you must own both, the Versa gets the garage, even if you have to move the Honda.

- Pets are wonderful friends. Pet hair ruins cloth. Friends understand if you give them the number to Pizza Hut and emergency numbers when you go on long trips.

- If you ever fix your Versa with Duct Tape / WD-40, you will be taken out back and shot. If you survive, you will be given a Chevy, Dodge or Ford. Your family will most likely disown you and you will be sterilized in order to protect future generations.

[Ever Victorious]

Welcome back, but...

[TrustME]

Ha. My fault.

[xtwoonamatchx]

lol well if it makes you feel better i havent seen these.. but i must say, im kinda offended by the high school comment. im a senior and am a beast at parallel parking..

[evoxpisces]

Why all the Honda hating? Are Nissan and Honda like mortal enemies?

[hammer_tim]

Yes - they are enemies. I own the '08 Versa and the wife owns the '08 Civic. They are always dueling it out. The Versa always wins of course.

We just made the switch too (yesterday) - The Versa now has the garage!

[OKVersa]

True story. The day of my 16th birthday, I took my driver's test in a 1970 VW red convertible with a Porche engine. GOSH I wish I had that car back...

Anyway, the OHP giving the test, decided to make me parallel park next to...a 1971 Mercury Marquis. Now...you are way to young to know that these cars were a block long and took up two spaces anyway. Had I done the parking correctly, I would have backed into the back fender of the Mercury! I got that sweet VW in the spot, but he said I didn't pass that part. I still made an 84 and got my driver's license. I guess he was impressed, thought, that a girl could drive a standard.

My husband can parallel park our F-150 pickup between two semi's with his eyes shut. I still harbor bad feelings towards that OHP and just swing in. With this Versa, why would you ever need to do anything else?

[xtwoonamatchx]

haha well even today, i think its awesome when a girl can drive a stick; girls im friends with dont generaly drive a stick casue theyre too worried about phone, makeup, and other things =\ oh well.

and when i was 14 i paralell parked my uncles F-250 first try (in a parking lot with cones, but it still counts)

[KimberKenobi]

Why all the Honda hating? Are Nissan and Honda like mortal enemies?

Yes - they are enemies. I own the '08 Versa and the wife owns the '08 Civic. They are always dueling it out. The Versa always wins of course.

We just made the switch too (yesterday) - The Versa now has the garage!

And darn tootin the V gets the garage! (My Camel is about to lose his... sniff)

[iluvmyVersa08]

- NEVER call a Versa “cute”. You may only use terms that you would use to describe Chuck Norris. Girls with small dogs call cars “cute”. Girls with small dogs also go to jail and live thankless, unhappy lives as trophy wives. Are you a trophy wife? No. You own a Nissan.

These rules are actually quite funny.However, I call my Versa cute! And I have a small dog! haha!

And darn tootin the V gets the garage! (My Camel is about to lose his... sniff)

My Versa gets the garage too! She is spoiled

[Skim302]

For some reason I feel like it's a fill in the blank kind of thing. None of the "rules" really pertain to V's only. You could insert any nissan where it says Versa and it would still fit.

[fjwagner]

ok, when do you post the jokes?

[7speed]

IF I had a garage, the Versa would get it. The 18 y/o Golf will just have to deal with continuing to rust in the driveway.

And for the record, my V always talks trash to the Fit that parks on the street a few houses down.