TRUE LOVE SUXS!!!!!

[nuQ]

just venting,,,but here goes....

i was with this girl for 3 years. we never lived together, she was still in school and split time between campus housing and her mothers house. we spent alot of time together with here spending a lot of time at my place too. around last christmas we kinda drifted apart, we still talked, but were dating others, which i thought was not very serious. around last may i realized that i loved her with all my heart and i wanted to be with her forever. i started to plan on getting a ring, and proposing to her at my familys place in maui!! granted she was not aware i really felt this strongly and she didn't think i would ever commit. she was out of school at this point and was moving up to the area i lived to work and go back to school for her grad degree. i felt this would be the time we could really be together (no more parents, school dorms, etc). in june there was a two week period when i couldn't get in touch with her, i went looking for her new apartment but couldn't find her, the next day she came to my place to tell me she was engaged!!!! i was/am crushed.soon after this i poured my heart out to her about my intentions/ how i really felt and she broke down. flash ahead to now. it's been months of text's, emails, phone calls to eachother. she will tell me she loves me, misses me and i know if she could snap her fingers and make her whole engagement disappear she would. this week she said she a tape of songs she was making to give me for my birthday and i couldn't take it anymore. i told i didnt want it, it only makes things worse to hear her love songs, etc. told her we have to forget eachother and move on, esp. me. i know i'll never give another girl a chance as long as i'm still talking to her. she begged me to let her come over last night (her fiancee works nights). we spent hours hanging out last night and sleept together (just fooled around a little in the morning). we promised that would be our last time together and she left. i wish there was something i could do to make her realize she is making a mistake. there is a lot of girls who want to be with me, but she is all i can think of, we really are so great together (which she knows and will admit). i know this is sappy, and i'll hear tons of "forget her, move on". i guess i'm just really smarting, she left about an hour ago.anyone else have something like this happen to them???? advice??????jeff

[elwesso]

First off my deepest condolecnces Jeff! that certainly is a icky situation, and really its gonna be harder to forget and move on right now than just riding it out. Might consider trying to "weene" yourself for the time being... Youll never "forget", but you should be able to get to the point where you can at least move on...

Its hard to envision the "plenty of fish in the sea" but it is true!

[Altiman94]

I had a girl I was with for 2 years. I felt the same way, but she suddenly began to change after getting a different group of friends. I knew it had to be broken off, but it was hard to get away. Even when I see her now it's hard to not have feelings for her

[Axel Grungy]

hey if its meant to be it will happen, keep that in mind.

[w1ngzer0]

hey if its meant to be it will happen, keep that in mind.

and if the ben's are suppose to have potatoes well by cracky we will

[nuQ]

thanks guys! what really makes this whole thing suck soo bad is that she really still loves me and would rather be with me! because she is such a great person, she doesn't know how to let the other guy down. i don't know how to make her see. she'll still (today!!!), look me in the eyes and tell me she loves me and will always. i know it's not just a "buddy" love, but a real heartfelt love. again thanks, just needed to vent.

[Axel Grungy]

if she is going to marry someone she doesnt even want to be with, she needs to think about that long and hard...

[Mr1der]

run off to vegas with her...

[skydragoness]

if she is going to marry someone she doesnt even want to be with, she needs to think about that long and hard...

agreed. she's engaged, not married. if she really wants to be with you she would endure that hardship of telling her fiance that its over so she can be with you.

[NY94J30]

Two words: Mrs. Robinson

[Ace 2.0]

damn dude thats sad,I was really into a girl but we drifted apart and I was crushed. it took me a year to even talk to a girl with hope of love.

[MainEvent212]

tell her fiancee or w/e that she's ****ing around on him. I doubt they'll last thru much more of that...if she hates you, she was BS-ing and just wanted to fool around w/ you...then u say "**** you ho!" and walk

[nametakennow]

That really makes negative amounts of sense on her part. Why the hell is she marrying him if she loves you?

A. You're getting played, she wants some last bits of screw around freedom before marrying this guy.

OR

B. She needs to wake up and tell the other guy it's over.

It absolutely blows my mind she could say she loves you whilst about to marry someone else. That just doesn't work, that marriage is destined to fail either way, because she can't handle herself or commitment if she really does love him. If she does marry him, she'll eventually drift away if she still has feelings for you, and, moreover, when he eventually finds out she cheated on him WHILE THEY WERE ENGAGED he'll blow his lid to next week, anyone would.

I really don't get that situation at all.

Well, I sorta do, but I gotta go for a little while, so I'll post again with that explanation.

[vicki]

I personally don't believe that any one person is "the one" for me. Given time, attraction, mutual interests, and common ground, any two people can grow to love or fall in love with each other. Obviously she's moved on with her life and has found someone new. If she really still loves you and thinks her future with you will bring her more happiness than with her fiancee, then she'd leave him in a heartbeat. I wouldn't waste my time chasing an old flame. As hard as it is, you should move on and begin letting your heart heal.

I was in love with a guy for over a year. I thought he was the love of my life. Now, looking back, there was nothing there. There was nothing spectacular about him. It's just the fact that he made me feel complete at that time of my life. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Given time, you'll begin to see that maybe she isn't perfect and that you CAN find someone who can make you feel again.

You can't embrace the new if you keep holding onto the old, forgotten, and wilted.

[jdmfreak]

Hey wes and winston. Sounds like the potential future another Jeff that you know, huh.

PS: I need to get off my *** and get busy.

[nuQ]

tell her fiancee or w/e that she's ****ing around on him. I doubt they'll last thru much more of that...if she hates you, she was BS-ing and just wanted to fool around w/ you...then u say "**** you ho!" and walk

believe me i've thought of that!!! LOL i just have too much respect for her to sabotage her situation. honestly, this has nothing to do with her "fooling" around with me. since i found out she was engaged in june, i've only seen her a couple times in person and nothing happened. i know the guy she is with is a good guy, but if there is such a thing, her and i are truly "soulmates". she knows this. she has admitted to me that if i would have proposed 1 min. before the other guy, she would have said yes! wish she just didn't like me anymore, would make things soo much easier. not to brag, but i have alot of girls that want to go out with me, doesn't help when she tells me she has dreams that her and i will someday/somehow be together. makes it hard to give anyone a chance! fri. night was suppossed to be the last contact we have w/ eachother. just got back from a wedding and have an email from her telling me "what a wonderful night i had with you". she closed the email with "love you. always, margo". this really does suck!!!!! feel like ripping my whole Q apart and putting it back together just to keep my mind off things!!!!! ps---sorry to sound like a total wussy with this!!

[elwesso]

What this situation needs is some guns, a Q45, some italian mafia guys, and some duct tape.....

You run over the guy with the Q, have him at gun point, have the mafia guys drag him away, and then you duct tape the girl to the seat of your Q (first put down a towel so it doesnt get sticky crap all over the leather).....

Eh that probably wont work but in a perfect world!!!!! It is probably rare that you are being a "wussy" about it, becuase that means you still have respect for her..... BY now most guys would have done what most of the other guys ahve said to do (read: F--- you HO!). If you sabatoge her situation, youll make her hate the guy shes going to date AND you, not what you want!

But I do agree with Winny that something is missing... She cant be in love with you and still going to marry the guy... It doesnt sound like she's playing you <at all> but I suppose its possible... So either she still loves you but she loves this guy MORE, or she doesnt want to break the marriage.....

Come to think of it, I kinda like plan A listed above

[Axel Grungy]

can you be in love with two ppl at the same time?? i know i cant....

[nametakennow]

Exactly, it doesn't add up... why isn't she talking to him explaining the situation and making up her mind? She's either dragging you along afraid of hurting your feelings or she's really undecided and she needs to figure herself out, plain and simple.

[nuQ]

i've begged her to at least temporarily call off the engagement, a couple months etc. to at least clear her head. i KNOW for a fact she is not "playing" me, she really isn't that kind of girl. she has admitted in the past that she has thought very hard about putting the engagement on ice to think about things. she also admitted to me the other night she cries herself to sleep everynight, and is making herself sick thinking about things. she even showed me EVERY phone text i have sent her over the months saved on her phone!!!! not above telling you guys this is KILLING me!!!! she even drives a 2003 altima cause of my Q and NICO

[w1ngzer0]

something will happen or not like everyone is saying. You have to fight for love, sometimes. You eather win or loose there is no middle in any situation.

[MainEvent212]

ok i'm gonna be blunt in rebuttal to the first sentences in the last 2 posts you made

you're thick headed, you're blind and most of all, you're being a stupid ***. You cant see what she's doing because you're too into her to see it for yourself. I guarantee it. I say all those things not to be mean to you but to hopefully bring light to the situation for you. IT'S PLAIN AND SIMPLE. If she really loved you, she'd leave him. Since she hasn't it's safe enough to say that she dosent love you, or at least, not enough. It's time to move on and let it go, whether you like it or not. If she really is your "true love" and you're meant to be together, years down the road you'll meet up in a coffee shop in paris...but that wont happen cuz you've just convinced yourself that you're in love...youre only making yourself into a bleeding heart, tear factory by thinking about thsi for more then 5 minutes...live and let live. let bygones be bygones. let it burn. the **** has hit the fan and now it stinks...so wipe off, spray on some AXE and go lay the mack down on some girl that's worth more then 15 seconds of your time

[MainEvent212]

oh, and once you get over her, refer back to all the "evidence" that you mentioned shows that she still loves you...it's all plain-as-day bull****

[w1ngzer0]

oh, and once you get over her, refer back to all the "evidence" that you mentioned shows that she still loves you...it's all plain-as-day bull****

lol wow. BTW thats what catalog brides are for... I am gonna get me one eventually........................

[Drift Machine]

Yeah, sorry dude but what MainEvent said appears to be the truth. If she 'really' loved you, then she wouldn't even have to think twice about calling off the engagement. She doesn't sound like a very nice person, not someone I would want to even consider marrying. Becuase think about, she's not willing to call off the engagement but she's willing to fool around with you? Unless you guys are involved in some kind of kinky sex triangle I don't think she should be fooling around on her husband to be. Doesn't seem like the most trustworthy person. I don't intend to be mean, I'm just stating my opinion and how I see it.

[nuQ]

i know to someone not close to the situation it sounds bad, but she really isn't about playin' me. when we were together i never gave any inkling that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. this other guy came along (she's known since childhood) and said all the right things, and proposed, she said yes, not knowing i was planning on asking her to marry me!!!! i know where her heart lies and where she would rather be, but, her having a heart of gold is stopping her from ripping his out. if it's not meant to be, i know i have to move on,,,,,,,it's just this total uncertainty that is killing me.......do i fight the good fight, or cut my loses and not take any more of her emails, texts, calls, etc. SUX!!!!!!

[nuQ]

PS----so great being a part of our NICO family, and all the help/advice you guys give,,,,even when i'm being a sappy basta(r)d!!!!!!!

[MainEvent212]

like i said before, what i say is not gonna matter to you cuz you're too blinded to see the truth in my words...i've been in a very similar situation and no matter what anyone says, the decision is and always will be yours to make. Things will most likely not change if left to their own devices. My final words of advice to you will go like this:

cut your losses, if she comes to you, you'll know she really loves you. If not, you can thank me later. Just live your life, and if she comes back to be a part of the rest of it, then so be it, but if not, you WILL find someone else that will make you just as happy as she ever did (believe it or not) and then some. good luck in whatever you end up doing...just dont kill yourself over it cuz that's never worth it and i'm sure it'll appear in your head as an option eventually.

[1992Q45A]

Bah. Go for it. Do all you can, then at least if nothing happens, you won't have that in the back of your mind.

Your same indecision put you in this situation in the first place, do all you can. At that point you can do what mainevent said, and knowing you put it all out

[nuQ]

you guys are the best!!! you're helping more than you know......