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if you're using manual shift mode, it won't shift aggressively unless you're hammering on it and taking it to redline. Otherwise, it's programmed to shift in a way that protects the transmission, if that makes any sense.
I'm not sure of anything that's out there for trans programming, but there is probably something. There is a company called Level 10 Performance that does transmission builds for the 7AT in the G37 and Q50, and it's a couple internal upgrades as well as an increase in the line pressure to the transmission, and I hear their upgrade is amazing.