Thoughts on Parenting

[nissangirl74]

http://ktar.com/?sid=1135874&nid=687

I was reading this article and it really pissed me off. This woman wants to adopt a child and can't because she is single. She's smart, well-educated, financially stable and healthy. Her only "fault" is the fact that she isn't married.

I know plenty of people who are single parents and do a damn fine job. I've done both, so I guess my perspective is fairly unique, but I do not think that being a single parent takes away anything from the child. Sure, it would be nice to have a mom and a dad in the family. However, I think most kids would agree that growing up in a single parent family would be better than growing up in foster care.

What do you think?

[MaximA32]

All of this. There's nothing wrong with a single parent raising a child.

[MinisterofDOOM]

I think it's absolutely a case-by-case basis thing, and that a law that doesn't take that into account is stupid. I know single parents who do a great job. I also know single parents who don't do so hot. But I also don't think being married would make a difference in any of those cases, because it's not being single or married that makes them a good or bad parent, it's who they are.

Every child deserves a good, loving parent (or parents) and I think it's beyond ridiculous to deny a child that simply because one is less than two. One loving parent is better than two negligent parents...or NO parents.

The law is moronic.

[s0m3th1ngAZ]

As long as the parent isn't a cop that found the adoptee sitting in 2 inches of his mother's blood inside a cargo container then yes, single parents have no reason to be denied a kid.Wait crap...my joke doesn't work...he had a mom.

[nissangirl74]

The law is moronic.

^ This. Speaking from a purely economic view, I wonder if the officials who are making these laws realize how much keeping children in foster care costs the government every year.

More and more, I hear people say that they would rather adopt a needy child than bring another one into the world (this includes people who are fully capable of having their own children). I was adopted myself. My parents gave me an education and opportunities I never could have dreamed of having otherwise.

[hatedinthemind]

I had no idea that you had to be married to adopt. Thats f**king lame

[dre1507]

as noted earlier, marriage doesn't dictate parenting abilities. it really is stupid to deny a child a good parent and home based on such idiotic reasoning.

[Jesda]

The kid is definitely better off in foster care. Single parents usually eat their children.

[hannibal]

The deciding factor on whether a couple or individual can adopt should be the ability to provide a stable, loving home for the child. Marital status doesnt dictate how "healthy" the home will be.

One loving parent is better than two negligent parents...or NO parents.

[Red coupe]

I think it's absolutely a case-by-case basis thing, and that a law that doesn't take that into account is stupid.

Honestly a bit more stupid to expect a law designed to cover a nation of over 300 million to do things on a case by case basis.Its stupid that the speed limit for a sports car driven by a trained racing driver on the street is the same as the speed limit for a 16 year old in a 10 seater van... But you need to have just one rule so it can be understood and enforced, and you have to aim for the safer side.

Not to say that there aren't s***ty two parent families, or that there aren't amazing single parents... But bottom line, general case a kid is much better off with a mom and a dad.

[MinisterofDOOM]

Honestly a bit more stupid to expect a law designed to cover a nation of over 300 million to do things on a case by case basis.

I don't expect a law designed to cover a nation of over 300 million to do things on a case by case basis.I expect the law not to get passed.

[cheekybeast]

What an outdated law...

[Solar_Runner]

The disparity of who can give birth to a child (think homeless/jobless crack junkie) and keep it until something dreadful happens AND who can adopt a child has always confused me…

[Red coupe]

The disparity of who can give birth to a child (think homeless/jobless crack junkie) and keep it until something dreadful happens AND who can adopt a child has always confused me…

Why? Your comparing two completely different things.

Whether or not a crack head has a kid is simply not their choice. They really couldn't stop it if they wanted to.

One thing is in their power to control, and the other isn't. I would be willing to bet if they were given the option they would tell crack heads and homeless not to reproduce...

[Solar_Runner]

Why? Your comparing two completely different things.

Whether or not a crack head has a kid is simply not their choice. They really couldn't stop it if they wanted to.

One thing is in their power to control, and the other isn't. I would be willing to bet if they were given the option they would tell crack heads and homeless not to reproduce...

Point I’m making is that there is absolutely no standard to being able to give birth (I am NOT suggesting that there should be either) however the standard to adopt and raise a child is overly restrictive.

There are scum out there that DO GET preggers just to collect the additional cash from the welfare line. People make their living out of how many kids they have. The youngins live in squalor while mom calls her dealer from her brand new cell phone to get high…

[elwesso]

There are probably a lot more single parent households that are eons better than dual parent households, regardless of if they adopted or not..

Child services can choose when a house is inadequate and they need to be taken away from their parents, so why cant they do the reverse...?

Of course, what would be nice and whats feasible are 2 entirely different things. But I would imagine that if you have apply to adopt a child, that you have to go through a pretty rigorous screening, why couldnt a single parent just do that?

[skydragoness]

My mom raised myself and my two siblings by herself since she got divorced in 1990 from my jobless, non-child-support-paying father.

The only thing that I think she may have done wrong is spoiled the hell out of my brother and sister, but otherwise.. single people should be allowed to adopt.

There are probably a lot more single parent households that are eons better than dual parent households, regardless of if they adopted or not..

Child services can choose when a house is inadequate and they need to be taken away from their parents, so why cant they do the reverse...?

Of course, what would be nice and whats feasible are 2 entirely different things. But I would imagine that if you have apply to adopt a child, that you have to go through a pretty rigorous screening, why couldnt a single parent just do that?

This^

[nissangirl74]

How is it that the government does not have the manpower to police the crack heads and deadbeats and their abuse of welfare, families first, and food stamps but they DO have the manpower to make sure single people can't get a shot at parenthood?

[Jesda]

How is it that the government does not have the manpower to police the crack heads and deadbeats and their abuse of welfare, families first, and food stamps but they DO have the manpower to make sure single people can't get a shot at parenthood?

Well, it doesn't take much labor to write a worthless and stupid law that simply says "no".

[nissangirl74]

Well, it doesn't take much labor to write a worthless and stupid law that simply says "no".

Doesn't take much to write a good law that says "Yes" either. Just more balls.

[numbnuts240]

Just more balls.

well there's the problem right there. these days, no one's got any.

[nissangirl74]

well there's the problem right there. these days, no one's got any.

Lots of elections are coming up. It would be nice to see who can step up and make a change. Or at least set some freakin' limits.

[numbnuts240]

It would be nice to see who can step up and make a change.

aren't we learning that "change" isn't always a good thing?

if **** couples and dyke couples can adopt, then single people should be able to, too. so long as there is adequate living conditions, income, and appropriate references, who cares? give the kid and single person a shot at a loving family.

[nissangirl74]

aren't we learning that "change" isn't always a good thing?

if **** couples and dyke couples can adopt, then single people should be able to, too. so long as there is adequate living conditions, income, and appropriate references, who cares? give the kid and single person a shot at a loving family.

Not all change is bad, as long as it is with good intent and properly managed. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy.