More garroting is likely if I have to hear one more person talk about what an amazing portable gaming device the iPad is.

It's a TERRIBLE gaming device of any kind, portable or not.

It has no face buttons, few hardware buttons of any kind, and is massive.
The game selection is horrible. Sure, grandma might want to play bejewelled and call that a great game. But, as I've been saying for years with even dedicated portable gaming devices (DS, I'm looking at you), "portable" does not have to mean "dumbed down" or "lite" or "mini." I want REAL games to take with me. My taste in games does not magically change just because I'm not in my home anymore. I don't play bejewelled at home, and I don't want to play it on-the-go either.

I have kind of an interesting perspective on iStuff gaming as an Android user. While the best of gaming on the Android consists of ports or clones of excellent experiences from gaming's past (like Doom and Quake, and lots of other older titles through DosBox), we've also started seeing an influx of iStuff ports. Games like Abduction and Zenonia. Which are HUGELY popular with iStuff owners. And they're s***. Abduction is a game with jumping cows ascending to space. But there's barely any player involvement at all. The cow jumps on its own, and you tilt the device to "steer." That's it. WOW. And Zenonia's controls, on both the input and output sides, are clunkier than a poorly-made NES game being played with a broken controller held by a deaf monkey you're voicing instructions to. Even when I bypassed the touchscreen clunkiness of Zenonia and used my hardware keyboard, the output-side clunkiness still got in the way.

I'm disappointed that everyone--not just non-gaming types, but even the gaming media--are talking about the iPad being a great revolution in portable gaming. It isn't. It does everything WRONG. At best, it's passable. But it's missing so much of what's needed to actually make good games enjoyable and even if that wasn't the case, there aren't any genuinely good games to be enjoyed. Any "good" titles for iStuff must be qualified with a "for an iPad game". That's not good. That's s***.

Covering up parts of the screen with your hands for basic control is crap.
Lack of any real haptic feedback is crap, especially for the ever-popular virtual analog sticks and d-pads.
Lack of real hardware buttons in any genuinely usable locations is crap.
Restriction to Apple's app store is crap.
Lowered standards that praise temporary distractions that wouldn't even make it on free flash game websites like Abduction is crap.
Having to carry some kind of bag or purse just to keep the device in is crap. "Portable" might have varying definitions, but portable gaming devices need to be pocketable (coughDSiXLcough).

If my Android phone didn't have a hardware keyboard, it'd be a crap gaming device, too. But at least it'd still have access to games I actually want to play. Anyone for some Quake deathmatch? Or would you rather tilt cows?

See? This is why I don't talk to people. Then I don't get angered when they say silly things.

the ipad is a giant overpriced iphone that won't make phone calls lol.

Sorry for the thread jack. Chris, you're original post is absurdly accurate. Couldn't agree more that the iPad is no where near ideal for gaming.

Warped161 wrote:the ipad is a giant overpriced iphone that won't make phone calls lol.

Wouldn't it be more like a "giant overpriced iPod touch"? I mean, seriously, this criticism is so old and played out. My laptop is also a "giant overpriced netbook" then. When did apple-bashing become the "in" thing? If you absolutely need to complain about an apple product (or the company as a whole), do us all a favor an formulate a legitimate argument (use the OP as an example). Not trying to be a d!ck, this is just slowly becoming a huge pet peeve of mine...

Yeah, this isn't an iPad bashing thread...just pointing out a fallacy in another popular bit of mindless drivel I keep hearing repeated wherever I go.
I think they're neat media devices, and neat portable web devices (though the lack of flash is a negative). I think they're hugely overpriced, but with more realistic pricing I wouldn't take issue with them at all.

I would never buy one for gaming, though, regardless of price.

I've actually had the opportunity to see one in action firsthand, courtesy of a friend who got one as a wedding present. She's always quick to clarify that she'd never consider spending MSRP for one, though (she's got the $800 top end version).
$800 could buy a LOT of device from any other brand than Apple.

Unfortunately there is far too much misinformation floating around the world we live in. I don't like taking my iPad in public because I hate explaining to people why they don't want one. People can't grasp the fact that I bought one for a very limited set of uses and that for me it is purely a luxury item and not a need (assuming you can consider a smart phone/netbook/laptop/desktop more of a need). It's just too complicated for people to see why I enjoy my iPad but wouldn't recommend it to nearly anyone.

In addition to the games not being that good, WTF is up with the pricing? It's like the game devs feel that $15 for a crappy arcade game is acceptable since there are games that cost roughly 3 times that on a legit gaming device. I waste time playing mindless "games" on my phone or ipad, but I promise I wont spend more than 99 cents on one. I've tried a few ~$5 games on iDevices in the past, and I just cannot justify the cost. Then again, it doesn't hurt that I have a bunch of older nes games at my disposal on the phone as well...

AppleBonker wrote:Sorry for the thread jack. Chris, you're original post is absurdly accurate. Couldn't agree more that the iPad is no where near ideal for gaming.

Warped161 wrote:the ipad is a giant overpriced iphone that won't make phone calls lol.

Wouldn't it be more like a "giant overpriced iPod touch"? I mean, seriously, this criticism is so old and played out. My laptop is also a "giant overpriced netbook" then. When did apple-bashing become the "in" thing? If you absolutely need to complain about an apple product (or the company as a whole), do us all a favor an formulate a legitimate argument (use the OP as an example). Not trying to be a d!ck, this is just slowly becoming a huge pet peeve of mine...

Glad you caught the joke, as expensive as the original iphone with less functionality, just bigger. I didn't say it was a good joke but just a joke. twit.

AppleBonker wrote:In addition to the games not being that good, WTF is up with the pricing? It's like the game devs feel that $15 for a crappy arcade game is acceptable since there are games that cost roughly 3 times that on a legit gaming device. I waste time playing mindless "games" on my phone or ipad, but I promise I wont spend more than 99 cents on one.

Exactly. Goes back to what I said about flash game websites. Most of this stuff would barely get noticed if offered for FREE on any other platform. But suddenly on the iPad or iPhone it's worth $10 or $15 bucks?! NOPE. Sorry. You can get a lot more game for $10 outside the apple app store.

I don't know that I blame the gaming media as much as I do dumb consumers. People can tell me the game is great and all, but I'm not about to spend my hard-earned cash on something unless I'm certain it's worth it. There are just far too many dumb people out there with these devices (honestly, most people that buy an iPad are not intelligent consumers) that the prices get paid. I can't blame the devs, cause making money is always the goal. If people didn't put up with the prices, this wouldn't be an issue. For that same cash, I'll go ahead and buy movies, books and 360/Wii/computer games.

IDK where your reading this MoD but it is starting to scare me.

People in high places making important decisions feel that Facebook and iPads are the future of gaming, this is not a future I want to be apart of...

RCA wrote:IDK where your reading this MoD but it is starting to scare me.

Do you live in a soundproof cave? You can't look at the internets without seeing someone talk about the iPad being the future of portable gaming.

And yes, it's scary. It scares me that businessmen can't tell the difference between casual gaming and real gaming. The two might both be gaming, but the audiences are not compatible. You can't trade one for the other.

Ferrari doesn't stop building supercars because Corollas sell better. They have enough brainpower to realize that Corollas aren't the same as supercars.

Regardless, I am still scared. Make it stop...

MinisterofDOOM wrote:

RCA wrote:IDK where your reading this MoD but it is starting to scare me.

Do you live in a soundproof cave? You can't look at the internets without seeing someone talk about the iPad being the future of portable gaming.

What really started to bother me is the tech blogs that I've always enjoyed (like Gizmodo). At first, they totally balked at the new pricing structure. Now, all I seem to find is their list of best games/apps for the iPad. No longer is there a mention of the absurd cost. I'm cool with them listing what they consider to be the top five or ten games, but why don't they comment on the insane price anymore? Just because it's the best game on the iPad does NOT mean it's worth $15.

Additionally, what kind of manpower is required to develop these games? Throw out all the ways the revenue is divided and just look at end-cost to the consumer. I would have to imagine that a $50-60 game for a legit platform does not take only 4 times that of the most elaborate iStuff game. Then, the amount of money going to the devs' pockets is probably a higher percentage since there are far fewer companies along the distribution channel. I don't care if they're being greedy. I just wish consumers would stick it to them for doing so.