THE CROSSCABRIOLET IS DEAD!

[RicerX]

http://www.autoblog.com/2014/04/15/niss ... placement/

"I can't believe it!"

"I am so sad at the moment. Was looking forward to the potential the new model had in Cross Cabrio form."

"I'd better go get mine now. I was waiting for the new one to decide, but it looks as though my hand has been forced."

"Silly business decision. The dealers never could maintain inventory and now they're axing it?!"

None of the above quotes were uttered in any way, shape, or form in reaction to the news that the Murano Crosscabriolet has finally been axed from Nissan's lineup.

Known for its eye-searing, enthusiast-less minded design and overall soul-crushing existence, the Nissan Murano Crosscabriolet was viewed by many as a model that got in the way of the Nissan brand's potential. Over the model years of 2011, 2012, and 2013, the Nissan Murano moved roughly 5,739 examples, yet Nissan will not comment on exactly how many were Crosscabriolet models. It is widely speculated that Nissan CEO Carlos Ghosn is married and pushed the product through to production due to his wife's interest in the model. When asked for comment as to whether his wife actually owns one, Ghosn began talking about the Nissan Juke Nismo RS SE-R AWD model that is currently at the cusp of production.

"We have evaluated the market once more concerning the Juke, and we have found that enthusiasts clamored for another model with additional power while retaining atrocious ground clearance standards for either a utility vehicle or a sports vehicle. More horsepower, different interior swatches, yet completely illegal for competition in SCCA. We are innovation that excites, and we listen to our consumers."

When we here at NICO sought the chief designer for the Murano Crosscabriolet at the time of this report, we found that a missing persons report was filed approximately 3 years ago, and the search has been called off.

[Dattebayo]

Hey man, you could write for the Onion or something.

[MinisterofDOOM]

That new Murano is pretty turgid-looking. Nissan's designs keep getting more and more flamboyant but without any apparent increase in direction or purpose. Just "do more" of whatever you're doing. Don't even have to understand what it is or why. Just more. MORE. More goofy rear-pillar kinks. More goofy headlights. More creases. MORE CHROME!

WTF is with the blacked-out section at the rear? Black, like glass, can disguise structural elements and change the visual flow of bodywork, but this is just silly. Making an A- or D-pillar wrap around with the glass is one thing. But blacking-out 3D styling elements? It's like Nissan hired 12 year olds based on their math class notebook sketches and then asked them to pen their new model line. The black isn't masking or disguising anything here, it's just pointlessly non-body-colored bodywork.



Oh, and WTF is with the flaring at the edges of the rear bumper? It's like they've crammed the most exaggerated fender arches they can with no regard for the rest of the bodywork. The line doesn't even flow with anything. It contrasts jarringly with every other curve on the back of the car.

And...Ugh (I thought I was done, but that thing's a real mess).
I've been sick of industrial-practical tack-on reflectors a-la everything Toyota for the past 10 years for more than the past 10 years. It looks like s***. So either stop mounting your taillights so high that you need a separate set of reflectors to provide save visibility at night, or stop gluing reflectors that look like they came from Ace Hardware onto your cars. Preferably both, really. They look like s***.

Also those wheels are nauseating.

And WHY IS NISSAN STILL OBSESSED WITH METALLIC BURNT ORANGE PAINT?!

And didn't we FINALLY move out of the clear-tail-light-lens phase? Can we PLEASE have red lenses back PLEASE? DAMMIT. As a non-LSE LS8 owner, I'm very much aware of how much nicer cars look with proper RED tail lamp housings. I may well declare an Imperial Holiday if automakers ever universally abandon this abominable trend.

Wait a minute...
Are those roof rails purely cosmetic? I see no anchor points, nothing but clean uninterrupted metallic beams. WTF?! Fake roof rails? What's next? Bring back the Lincoln fake spare tire indent? Fake receiver hitch cover bumper sculpting? What is this nonsense?

Get it out of my sight.

[alphapig]

Another complaint: bulging headlights/tail lights.

A little convex curve is OK, but the Nissan and notably Toyota models have tail lights and head lights that protrude FAR beyond the bodywork, and look absolutely ridiculous.

[MinisterofDOOM]

Hear hear! Yet another modern styling trend that boggles my mind.

[Bubba1]

Hear hear! Yet another modern styling trend that boggles my mind.

I think the Murano Cross(dress) Cabriolet designer's inspiration must have been the power dump he took the morning he penned it. To support my theory, I've noticed that most people's expression upon viewing a CrossCabriolet is similar to the expression one gets when they enter a public rest room stall and discover a big unflushed turd.

The Murano Cross Cabriolet: may it rest in pieces.