Take your pill, don't worry about the fine print twitchy

[themadscientist]

I am a firm believer that Americans are seriously over-medicated. They take pills to wake up, pills to be happy, pills to be less happy, pills to grow a pair, pills to stand it up, and pills to go to sleep. I don't like that big pharma has managed to establish a beachhead on TV to fire barrage after barrage at consumers convincing them they are victims of some syndrome and that pill X is going to make it all better if you "ask your doctor."

Soapbox propped up in the corner and clown nose affixed, let's take a lighter look at something I have noticed about many of these cure-alls, the ridiculous side effects! In many cases the phalanx of sometimes chuckleworthy, but more often shocking side effects are worse than the malady they purport to salve. In my inaugural expose of stupid pills for idiots I present Lunesta.

According to the drug dealer, yeah, I meant to imply that too so register it, this product is a

prescription sleep aid that helps the majority of people with insomnia get back to a good night's sleep.* With LUNESTA, they can wake up feeling rested and ready to face the day.

Alright. I can appreciate the plight of people who can't get to sleep. I've had a few of those nights. Maybe this is the miracle it claims to be, but wait! Let's take a gander at what you might encounter along with or instead of a good night's sleep.

LUNESTA acts quickly, so take it right before bed, and only if you have 8 hours to devote to sleep. Until you know how you will react to LUNESTA, you should not drive or operate machinery. Call your healthcare professional if your insomnia worsens or is not better within 7 to 10 days. This may mean that there is another condition causing your sleep problems.

Sounds like responsible advice, I would agree with that.

Walking, eating, driving, or engaging in other activities while asleep without remembering it the next day have been reported.

Wait, what? So I might sleep walk, sleep eat, sleep,,,,DRIVE and sleep "engage in other activities." What might that include? Will I wake up and find all my cereals have been arranged by fiber content? Will all my DVDs be in the wrong boxes? Will someone have drank all the milk and put the empty carton back in the fridge? Will my wife thank me for a wild night, a night I don't remember, WTF man? This is like a roofie for crying out loud.

Other abnormal behaviors include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations, and confusion.

Aggressiveness and agitation? I already have that; maybe somebody is slipping me this stuff. Confusion? I have that all the time! "Hey, who drank the milk and put the empty carton back in the damned fridge and why is my Hope Floats DVD in the Die Hard case?" Holy crap! Wait, how do I know if this isn't all just a hallucination? Uh-Oh, maybe I shouldn't have taken that pill. What pill? Who am I? why is the Frosted mini wheats over there?

In depressed patients, worsening of depression including risk of suicide may occur.

Well, being sleepless can certainly contribute to feeling down, but suicide? Death is the big sleep so I guess this is just this pill's way of showing you it ain't f*** around!

These risks may increase if you drink alcohol.

Haters. They must not like the competition. A fine glass of scotch gets me ready for a nap every time.

Severe allergic reactions such as swelling of the tongue and throat occur rarely and may be fatal.

Again, death? you know sleep is a great thing, but the threat of death is a bit sobering. Death by chocking on your own tongue, way to go out like a rock star at least.

Call your healthcare professional if you experience these or any effects or reactions that concern you.

Call? I can dial it, up until I black out from lack of oxygen, but then what? I can't tell them what's wrong, my f*** tongue is swollen up!

LUNESTA, like most sleep medicines, carries some risk of dependency.

So not only is this Russian roulette pill possibly going to cause me to see s***, do things in my sleep I can't remember, choke to death and/or practice my noose-tying skills, I might get hooked on it too? Fantastic!

Side effects may include unpleasant taste, headache, morning drowsiness, and dizziness.

I got all that before I even take it from inventorying the side effects. Might I suggest a remedy that is free, has no side side effects other than stiff towels in the corner and has been proven to knock out the average dude like a light, spank the monkey.

[Encryptshun]

While your ENTIRE POST was so spot-on that it should be cut, pasted, and emailed to everyone in the world, it was this little gem that made me fall over:

Will I wake up and find all my cereals have been arranged by fiber content?

[THawks]

I am a firm believer that Americans are seriously over-medicated. They take pills to wake up, pills to be happy, pills to be less happy, pills to grow a pair, pills to stand it up, and pills to go to sleep. I don't like that big pharma has managed to establish a beachhead on TV to fire barrage after barrage at consumers convincing them they are victims of some syndrome and that pill X is going to make it all better if you "ask your doctor."

I firmly agree with this. I personally have a few ailments, and more than normal aches and pains than the average 26 year old due to genetics, as well as lifestyle up to this point (military training causes many physical problems surprisingly). This in mind, I hate taking medications, even the occasional ibuprofen is an inconvenience.

Walking, eating, driving, or engaging in other activities while asleep without remembering it the next day have been reported.

Wait, what? So I might sleep walk, sleep eat, sleep,,,,DRIVE and sleep "engage in other activities." What might that include? Will I wake up and find all my cereals have been arranged by fiber content? Will all my DVDs be in the wrong boxes? Will someone have drank all the milk and put the empty carton back in the fridge? Will my wife thank me for a wild night, a night I don't remember, WTF man? This is like a roofie for crying out loud.

I have never taken Lunesta for my sleeping problems, but I have been prescribed Ambien in the past. "Other activities" includes sleep sex, phone calls, cooking (with and without eating), amongst other normal daily activities.

Other abnormal behaviors include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations, and confusion.

Aggressiveness and agitation? I already have that; maybe somebody is slipping me this stuff. Confusion? I have that all the time! "Hey, who drank the milk and put the empty carton back in the damned fridge and why is my Hope Floats DVD in the Die Hard case?" Holy crap! Wait, how do I know if this isn't all just a hallucination? Uh-Oh, maybe I shouldn't have taken that pill. What pill? Who am I? why is the Frosted mini wheats over there?

In my case, sleeping pills increased my (normal) road rage (though DC traffic didn't help that any) as well as reducing (already negligable) patience levels with friends, family and loved ones to a level that seriously strained relationships. Also there is nothing like seeing hands and faces coming out of the wall trying to grab you or being chased my wild chimps with your only escape being diving off a cliff, and calling your girlfriend at the time scaring the hell out of her because you are screaming and incoherently mumbling into the phone about said monkeys or hands.

In depressed patients, worsening of depression including risk of suicide may occur.

Well, being sleepless can certainly contribute to feeling down, but suicide? Death is the big sleep so I guess this is just this pill's way of showing you it ain't f**king around!

These risks may increase if you drink alcohol.

Haters. They must not like the competition. A fine glass of scotch gets me ready for a nap every time.

In both cases, adding a depressant such as alcohol or sleeping pills on top of clinical depression, would compound the effects. Mixing the three even more so. A drink here or there shouldn't cause many problems, but a large number of Americans take this to excess as the general population is want to do, self medication and all.


As previously stated, I hate taking medications of any sort. After experiencing said hallucinations as well as taking the medication and still staying awake all night, those pills were disposed of and the scrip never refilled. The general, overmedicated population though just continues taking whatever is prescribed without questioning what they are putting in their bodies, or seeking alternatives (excercise, spanking the monkey, etc) or beneficial dietary/lifestyle changes. Hell, I moved halfway across country to be closer to family, bought a house, toned down on the whoring around, got a day job (graveyard is a bish on your body) and have been medication (anti-depressants) free for 9 months and doing just fine.

[themadscientist]

Ibuprofen, the Navy docs always gave us Motrin. Headache? Motrin. Broken leg? Motrin. Sucking chest wound? Hmmm, we'll just stick the pills in the hole.

[THawks]

Ibuprofen, the Navy docs always gave us Motrin. Headache? Motrin. Broken leg? Motrin. Sucking chest wound? Hmmm, we'll just stick the pills in the hole.

Yup, the 800mg cure all... I think that is DoD standard I had boxes full of those bottles...

[AZhitman]

There's an even better example.... Have you heard the new commercials touting medications for "Shift Work Disorder"?

Oh, for crying out loud.

http://www.nuvigil.com/about-shift-work-disorder

Side effects:

skin rash, hives, sores in your mouth, or your skin blisters and peels
swelling of your face, eyes, lips, tongue, or throat
trouble swallowing or breathing
sexual dysfunction
fever, shortness of breath, swelling of the legs, yellowing of the skin or whites of the eyes, or dark urine
depression, anxiety, hallucinations
extreme increase in activity and talking (mania)
thoughts of suicide
aggressive behavior

Wooo. Sounds like a pill I want to stock up on.... I've got a better idea: TAKE A DAMN NAP.

[ADDirishboy]

Shift work disorder? Really? By their standards, I should be living off of that pill right now. How about you sack up and quit bitching? I guarantee my schedule is more hectic and chaotic than anyone who is on that pill. p******.

[frapjap]

IThese risks may increase if you drink alcohol.

Haters. They must not like the competition. A fine glass of scotch gets me ready for a nap every time.

Love it.

I'm amazed by the pills these days, too. Its to bad no one mentioned that becoming a pharmacist was a "real" job to me in high school.
My youngest brother is going into rotations for Rx this semester. Bastard is going to benefit in a HUGE way from our stupid society.

[Dattebayo]

There's no such thing as "natural sleeping hours", your body adapts to whatever schedule it needs to get REM. But some pills keep the crazies off the streets too?

[ADDirishboy]

Doctors like to make up diseases too. What's that one where your body aches for no reason? I hear it every shift I work, but I hate it so much that my mind refuses to remember what it's called

[themadscientist]

It's called being a p**** I think.

[themadscientist]

How about Lexapro? It's

been proven safe and effective for the acute and maintenance treatment of MDD in adults and adolescents (ages 12-17) and for the acute treatment of anxiety (GAD) in adults.

So it's to perk up sad teens and make uptight adults calm the hell down and talk to other humans. Okidoki, let's see what that will cost you.

In clinical trials, the most common side effects associated with Lexapro treatment in adults were nausea,

So you are happy and outgoing now, ready to put the razor blades away and strike up a conversation, but you want to puke. That should crank up the level of difficulty.

insomnia (difficulty sleeping),...fatigue and drowsiness,

Well that makes sense. If you can't sleep that might just make you tired. Look on the bright side, you will have more time to be upbeat and chatty.

ejaculation disorder (primarily ejaculation delay),

Wait, why is that a disorder? Women have been complaining and rightfully so about dudes being two pump chumps since the first caveman with a hard on saw a cave woman bending over and went "me havum idea."

decreased libido, and anorgasmia (difficulty achieving orgasm).

Wait, now that's not fair! I'm ready to go all night long working up to a nut and my lady is on board, get it? and you are telling me I won't want to anymore? That's a bunch of BS.

increased sweating,

I'm not sure that is directly attributable to the drug. It could be caused by having a revved up woman pissed at you because you don't want to poke her or because you mustered the mood and have been pounding pud for an hour straight trying to release the demon.

Side effects in pediatric patients were generally similar to those seen in adults;

So the kids didn't want top bump uglies and couldn't whip up a batch either? A cranky tired sweaty kid eh, sounds like a great morning at the breakfast table.

"so son, how are you?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Did you try dad's Lunesta?"

"Are you f*** crazy pop, don't you read Nico Gen Chat, that s*** is insane!"

"what did you do then?"

"I tried to rub one out per TMS's suggestion."

"Did it work?"

"No, I must have cranked on it for an hour. I need a skin graft on my pecker now."

*dad hides under table, son inquires*

"What are you doing?"

Dad whispers from under the kitchen table "Christina Aguilera monsters. I don't think they see me. I've been seeing them ever since I started taking Lunesta."

the following additional side effects were commonly reported in pediatric patients: back pain, urinary tract infection, vomiting, and nasal congestion.

Nothing like pediatric back pain, a nice sizzling UTI, bouts of vomiting and a stuffed up nose to inspire the little EMO bastards to not cut themselves and stop hiding in their room, fan-f***-tastic, where do I get a bottle of your wonder drug?

[Dattebayo]

Any and ALL reported problems during trials for the meds are included in there. If you met the people who volunteer and are ultimately chosen for drug trials, you might understand why all the same types of effects are listed for new drugs.

[Jesda]

Marry Christmas, TMS!

[MinisterofDOOM]

I'm not fond of pills/drugs in general. Most drugs, especially painkillers and cold medicines, make me feel dazed and often nauseated. I'm an intelligent guy but I feel stupid when I'm on them...like most of my brainpower is out of reach, taunting me. I get the same way after migraines which adds an extra level of non-appeal to the feeling. Very rarely, pain or a cold might be bad enough to warrant those side-effects, but not often. I can't imagine taking pills daily to "fix" the huge number of problems my fellow humans seem to think they have.

[AZhitman]

Doctors like to make up diseases too. What's that one where your body aches for no reason? I hear it every shift I work, but I hate it so much that my mind refuses to remember what it's called

Fibromyalgia.

[300ZXttZMAN]

There's no such thing as "natural sleeping hours", your body adapts to whatever schedule it needs to get REM. But some pills keep the crazies off the streets too?

I agree

[alms24sebring]

This thread is awesome. I do love the side effects of me-love-you-long-time pills. Blindness and loss of hearing, meh, it always comes back.

[audtatious]

Too much to read....

I take Nexium and occasional Advil for headaches. Both do as I need. Otherwise F-the rest.

[DJ_B_Easy]

I've posted this in a thread before, but its oh so true. NSFW Chris Rock, obviously.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBBBxVNjOeE[/youtube]

Ive tried 2 medications which could be classified as "risky". Wellbutrin in an attempt to quit smoking and Acutane to rid me of my abnormally hideous acne. My doctor(s) made me well aware of the side effects before they even broke out the RX pad and wouldnt you know it, they all came true.

The Wellbutrin worked, I quit smoking after 3 days. A week later I couldnt see straight, sleep, or get my pecker hard. Be right back, going for a smoke.

Acutane also worked like a charm. But that stuff made me depressed as all hell and it literally shrivels your skin into dry bacon. Still worth it IMO though.

Advil and Papaya Enzyme, all I need now and all I will hopefully need for the rest of my life.

[numbnuts240]

How about Lexapro?

i was on lexapro for a while. i got the insomnia and decreased libido. a couple of the main side effects that made me nervous were a possibility of increased thoughts of suicide and if you don't ween yourself off the pills properly, you put yourself at risk for brain shocks. awesome.

[C-Kwik]

Doctors like to make up diseases too. What's that one where your body aches for no reason? I hear it every shift I work, but I hate it so much that my mind refuses to remember what it's called

Fibromyalgia.

Its not made up. Its just not well understood. The medical diagnosis is generally done after all other tests for typical symptoms come up negative for every other known possibility. A rheumatologist makes the diagnosis based on responses to questions and feelings of pain in a minimum number of pressure points from specific places. It is possible it can be composed of more than one cause (implying more than one disease/condition/injury, but until we know more about the underlying cause, we can't say for sure. The pain appears to be caused by overactive nerves. Most treatment regiments are composed of a medication that helps to slow down nerve activity (Anti-siezure drugs like Lyrica and Neurontin) and an anti-depressant (many patients also experience depression).

My GF suffers from it. She had to go on disability some 2 years ago. It took more than a year of seeing her doctor and other specialists several times a month to finally find a way to reduce the pain to manageable levels. Hell, nearly 6 months of that was going through all kinds of testing just to rule out every other possibility before even seeing a rheumatologist to determine if it might be FM or not. The rest of the time was spent just trying to find treatment that worked. Lyrica and Neurontin were ineffective. Lyrica also had some severe side effects (the big one being she felt high all the time). Problem with many of these drugs is they can interact with each other and some require stepping up to the full dosage and weening off the drug. Took something like 2 months alone to try out Lyrica. We ended up running out of options with the rheumatologist and her primary care doctor. We made the decision to try and address the pain through pain management and her pain management doctor made the suggestion to try out Cymbalta after trying out an epidural. It brought the pain down to manageable levels and she could finally start looking for work (her company laid her off during her disability). So just over 2 year since having to go on disability she is finally employed again. Unfortunately, she is having to deal with some pain as her medical insurance doesn't kick in until the 1st of the new year.

Sorry if this is a little long winded. But we had to deal with this for the last 2 years and will have to continue to deal with this for the rest of her life. I wish we did understand it better so we could get to the diagnosis more quickly and maybe even find a working treatment solution more quickly. Hell, the lack of understanding of this condition had the disability office referring her to an independent medical examiner who wasn't qualified to make such a diagnosis (an orthopedist) and ultimately saying they were going to cut-off her disability. We had to appeal (without the help of a lawyer since we could not afford it). It was some 200 pages of documents I brought with me to the appeal. The judge who heard the appeal basically stated the same thing I did in that an orthopedist is not qualified to even make that call for an FM diagnosis. We were in the middle of the appeal process when I had broken my collarbone in a motorcycle accident and my orthopedic surgeon, whose mother is my mother's best friend since I was a toddler, also said he wouldn't be able to make that call. Its upsetting that anyone would refer to FM as made-up. I wish it wasn't real as we would not have had to go through this hell. But we did and I would not wish it on anyone. I certainly wouldn't compare it to things like cancer or any other life threatening condition, but its lower severity does not negate its existence nor does it mean its an easy problem to deal with. Again, sorry for the long post, but the key to fighting ignorance is educating. I'm not an expert on the subject but had to learn quite a bit in trying to help Jolene through it and in appealing the disability denial.

[PyR0NiAk]

TMS, I'm posting your initial post on facebook. That s***'s awesome. Credit will be given to you, of course.

[themadscientist]

I'm finally on facebook. The jailbait pics will flow unto me like wine!

[rc1honda]

I have worked in healthcare for 7 years now, and medications have really gotten to the point of "magic snake oil" in many cases.

There are many, many useful drugs on the market. Cholesterol, anti-hypertensives, anti-hypotensives/pressors will keep you alive much longer then what otherwise would be possible. Chemotherapy drugs have become very popular and somewhat effective. Anti-psychotics, and anti-seizure have let many mentally unstable people live somewhat normal lives. Many more exist that actually are very useful and do have a place in modern medicine.

That being said. I honestly believe big pharma is really just catering to the American lifestyle. Most Americans have no desire to eat healthy or exercise at all, much less for 20 minutes 3 times a week. Most Americans don't wanna take the time to find a positive outlet for their everyday frustrations. And most Americans don't wanna spend their whole day off telling Jr. to shut the hell up and chase him around the house making sure he doesn't set the place on fire. Just give him a little pill and he will obey your every command. We Americans as a whole want big pharma to make these pills. We practically ask for them to be made.

This is really where American culture starts to shine. The drugs we are offered are a mirrored image of our habits, tendencies and lifestyle. Americans want results fast for every situation. We also tend to be fat, lazy, not well informed and sometimes socially inept. Big pharma knows what the average American needs to make life easier and will market to specific demographics with a vengeance.

So I honestly think big pharma is really just giving us what we want... Band-aids to mask the real problem, ourselves.

[themadscientist]

If they made a drug that caused you to exude a noxious pheromone fog that drove stupid people away I would take it.

Medical science has not answered my call yet so I just stopped showering and stare at people like I want to rip their throat out with my bare hands.

It's working pretty good, maybe too well; you guys are the only ones who talk to me anymore.

[cattledrftr]

Even the foods and drinks we consume with artificial components such as aspartame, high fructose corn syrup, trans fats, etc...... There are many health hazards with these as well for the act of avoiding one evil like many of the medications mentioned above. A big issue down here in the south as well with foods while I'm on the kick is people that bleach raw shrimp.... Fresh shrimp has a nice white color to it but begins to blacken with age so many local vendors to be able to sell this old shrimp they soak it in bleach. Who knows what else us as consumers are getting like this.

Sorry not to get off topic but this thread involving medications "things we consume" kinda got me thinking about this

[AZhitman]

Its not made up.

I wasn't implying the description was accurate - I just knew the one he was thinking of.

I was recently diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which is genetic, and often misdiagnosed as several other things, one of which is fibromyalgia.

Side note: I was on Cymbalta for a year. I took myself off it, primarily due to side effects.

Now, I avoid foods with HFCS, artificial additives, most red meat, and most processed foods... Since we've moved towards more organic foods, more whole grains, more fresh fruits and veggies, and an overall healthier diet, I find myself with a ton more energy, as well as several other beneficial effects.

[themadscientist]

I have been looking at the Ornish diet myself. I have noticed a change just by eating more salads and drinking less water with caramel syrup and fizz in it so I might take the leap and give a whole diet change a try. We eat too much processed crap. There's a reason old f*** made it to that age and it wasn't Cinnabon and Starbucks coffee.

[sivartk]

I love some of TamiFlu's side effects....hmmm....is it a side effect or just the product not working?

Side Effects (from their website)
Nausea (without vomiting)
Vomiting
Diarrhea
Bronchitis
Abdominal pain

Flu symptoms (from their website)
nausea
vomiting
diarrhea

That commercial makes me laugh.