Scenario: You died and went to hell. What's it like?

[Jesda]

Coldplay is on 24 hours a day whether you're in the market, in your car, or at home.

Everyone drives a Ssangyong Rodius.

The only movie playing in theaters is Twilight.

The only TV show on the air is "Keeping With The Kardashians."

The president of hell is Steve Ballmer.

All women are naked but look like current-day Madonna.



All food tastes the way a CVT drives.

[Bubba1]

Coldplay is on 24 hours a day whether you're in the market, in your car, or at home.

Everyone drives a Ssangyong Rodius.

The only movie playing in theaters is Twilight.

The only TV show on the air is "Keeping With The Kardashians."

The president of hell is Steve Ballmer.

All women are naked but look like current-day Madonna.



All food tastes the way a CVT drives.

I picture you waiting to meet with the devil, and the only thing available to read is a Consumer Reports giving car of the year honors to a Prius. Then he finally meets you and he's wearing an " I love NY" tee-shirt.

[pepesilvia]

^^^ this car exists, but isn't legal.... oh wait

[skydragoness]

I've been quoted as saying (drunk) that if there was a hell, Katy Perry would be conducting the orchestra. In lieu of the Miley Cyrus debacle, I'll have to retract that statement.
Hell for me would involve Priuses and their drivers, autotune pop music, straight roads to drive on with relentless traffic, and winter 365 days a year. Yeah...this town probably exists...

[ADDirishboy]

Dubstep all day, everyday. I'm forced to work in a call center where every person I talk to is chewing ice with their mouth open. And people chew with their mouth open every time they eat. *cringe*

[MinisterofDOOM]

Regardless of how passionately I may hate a great many things, it really doesn't take more than two to make it Hell for me:
1: Cold
2: Wind

So, basically, Idaho.

If you want me to be truly, hopelessly miserable, you could throw in an all-permeating, unavoidable, endless loop of "I Miss You" by Blink182.
And I guess if you made a 1986 Ford Tempo (in Classic Ford Crusty-blood Maroon) the only car around, it wouldn't help my disposition.
Make me read Kurt Vonnegut or Suzanne Collins and things will get even less pleasant.
And while you're at it, add 50 suns that never set and provide no warmth, but merely assault the eyes from all directions.
Make television programming consist of an infinite variety of "hip, modern, upbeat" morning talk shows that treat viewer tweets like news.
I could probably go on.

So, again, basically Idaho.

[OriginalWheelman]

I'm back in NY.

[alms24sebring]

I walk into a bar with 4 feet of hot s**t on the ground but there is an old friend having a drink. I think, well this isnt so bad. It stinks but I can atleast have a drink while living through an eternity. Then the Devil pokes his heads through the door and says " Alright, back on your heads!"

[Dattebayo]

Sriracha sauce in my sinuses all the time and no tissues or a neti pot anywhere. Nothing but taco bell bean burritos for all meals. An itch on my back I can't reach. I still have the same car to drive around. Everything smells like the floor behind the bar. All cookies are raisin cookies. All bacon is made from turkey. SHall I go on?

[Jesda]

Raisins are god's little joke.

"OH YOU WANTED CHOCOLATE CHIP? NAH, HERE'S A COOKIE FILLED WITH ROTTEN GRAPES INSTEAD."

[TgduMg]

Sriracha sauce in my sinuses all the time and no tissues or a neti pot anywhere. Nothing but taco bell bean burritos for all meals. An itch on my back I can't reach. I still have the same car to drive around. Everything smells like the floor behind the bar. All cookies are raisin cookies. All bacon is made from turkey. SHall I go on?

I'll add to that. Lay's Chicken and Waffles flavor are the only potato chips (the Sriracha Lay's were better than the Cheesy Garlic Bread and should have won the contest).

And your suspicions were confirmed that Johan de Nysschen is Satan.



Danisiti 1