Sad: The best Infiniti might be a Mercedes.

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Jesda
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I spent a weekend in a loaner QX30. It was... pretty decent! Too bad it isn't really a Nissan product.

Copypasta:
Earlier this year my mom’s 2011 Infiniti QX56 developed electrical issues that caused stalling and non-starts, unresolved for months by two local Infiniti dealers. As a service loaner she received an Infiniti QX60, a large CUV based on the Nissan Pathfinder.

Tiring of its marshmallow handling and uncomfortable front seats, she asked for something else and received the keys to a much smaller QX30, a German-powered, English-built, Japanese-designed luxo-wagon-thing.

When she first pulled up I thought it was a Regal TourX, a crisply tailored sport wagon from Buick. It wasn’t until morning that I walked outside with my suitcase and saw the massive Infiniti badge attached to the nose.

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HEY! Remember Infiniti? They once made the legendary Q45 luxury sedan (I owned two) that went head to head with the Lexus LS400. A while later the G35 gave Infiniti a fighting chance against BMW and then there was… nothing.

For reasons unknown, under the leadership of Johan Denysschen (Audi, Cadillac), Infiniti changed its well-established Q, G, and M names to Q and QX followed by two numbers, further confusing luxury buyers who long ago lost interest in Nissan’s luxury offerings.

Now, the Infiniti brand ladder begins with the smallest QX30, the larger QX50, the even larger QX60, and massive off-road capable QX80 based on the Nissan Patrol. I was a massive Nissan/Infiniti until two decades ago and had no idea the QX50 existed until I checked Infiniti.com.

Thankfully the QX30 has little in common with its soulless showroom siblings, sharing its architecture and powertrain with the Mercedes GLC. Instead of Nissan’s typically awful continuously variable transmission, the baby QX borrows from Mercedes a 7-speed dual-clutch gearbox that fires off shifts like a watermelon seed spitting contestant at the Indiana state fair – that is to say, quickly and precisely.

Call it an Unfiniti… engineered by Germans.

Mom and my two youngest siblings drove the QX30 from St Louis to Detroit for a visit, stuffing the cramped second row and cargo compartment with luggage and snacks. Mom proposed a weekend trip to Toronto, a city I’d driven by several times but never properly explored, so off we went.

As a convertible guy who keeps the top down all year round, getting into a car with a low roof felt confining. Ground clearance is generous for easy ingress/egress but the roof feels as close to your forehead as the rim of a baseball cap.

Knee, leg, and thigh room are limited as well with short seat bottoms lacking thigh support. Once I moved the chair into a usable position little space was left for my tall fifteen year-old sister, but she didn’t complain about comfort.

The result is a tight but exceptionally stylish crossover that bucks the trend of cars getting taller and uglier in favor of utility. Of course, if it was a stationwagon instead of trendy CUV the center of gravity would be lower for more confident handling, headroom would be less confining, and a lower floor would improve cargo space.

The first thing Mom mentioned was how much the QX30 made her miss the 400 horsepower V8 in her QX56. I agreed – though the 208hp 2.0L turbocharged Mercedes-sourced four-banger sounded like it was working hard, acceleration was lacking in certain traffic situations, though the culprit was likely the transmission.

A red light I approached on Big Beaver Rd turned green so naturally I mashed the throttle to engage forward movement. Unfortunately, with the transmission in its “E” mode there was a delay as the computer noted the movement of my right foot, contacted the EPA in writing for permission, and translated it into a couple downshifts.

Placing the transmission in “S” mode sharpened responses significantly, though somewhat excessively for casual driving. A normal mode straddling Eco and Sport would have been nice. The hardware is good. The software needs a little work.

Thankfully, Infiniti throws in a pair of paddle shifters as a workaround. If you’re willing to slap the back of the wheel to bark orders at the fast-acting DCT, you’ll be rewarded with a crisp and lively driving experience. It’s great but you shouldn’t have to do that to get it to feel alive.

Curious to see how the QX30 dealt with curves, which most crossovers deal with poorly, I gave it the beans as we circled a ramp to join I-94. With my anti-crossover “car guy” bias firing on all cylinders, I actually liked the way it handled.

No, it isn’t as chuckable as a Cadillac ATS or BMW 2-series but tall wagons designed for practicality tend to roam around like marshmallows floating on a cup of hot cocoa. This is a level of fun typically reserved for the Porsche Macan and Mazda CX5.

But blending agility with ground clearance comes with compromises – ride comfort. Michigan’s roads are trash by most standards and the QX30’s brittle, flinty ride is a constant reminder of our third-world transportation infrastructure.

Electric steering is a problem for most manufacturers with the exception, again, of Porsche and Mazda. Infiniti’s implementation feels overtly fake and disconnected at low and medium speeds, great for parallel parking but limp around town, like your hands have been injected with benzocaine. At higher speeds it gains quite a bit of heft and offers a modest facsimile of traditional hydraulic steering. It’s just… okay.

Cruising Ontario’s 402 at 120kmh, bored to tears by scenery resembling Illinois, I took notice of the dashboard, door panels, and center stack. Fake leather tastefully adorns the upper dash, padded and neatly stitched in white. Sturdy switchgear and piano black controls closely resemble Mercedes-Benz.

Unfortunately, some of the materials south of the instrument cluster and door handles appear to have been sourced from Rubbermaid. It’s precisely assembled and feels durable but has the texture and visual appeal of a trash bin.

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Looking for music options I explored Infiniti’s baffling, laggy, and poorly organized infotainment system. The USB port lacked enough juice to keep my Blackberry Priv charged, leaving me with 20% by the time we arrived, and Bluetooth streaming constantly stuttered and lagged. I’d have been better off using my charging brick and an audio cable.

To advance to the next XM station (rather than using presents) you have to use the left and right buttons on the dash. There’s no way to rotate and quickly scroll using the knob, nor is it possible with the steering wheel controls. I actually found myself missing the clunky iDrive system in my BMW.

I gave the navigation system a chance to prove itself by setting an easy destination – Toronto’s iconic CN Tower — but found the UI to be slow to respond and poorly designed. After entering the street name there’s an expectation of a “Next” or “OK” button, which there isn’t. It was often too late with spoken directions and proved itself to be utterly useless downtown.

Mom did a better job of finding the CN Tower by opening the sunroof and pointing at it.

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Built by Canadian National railroad in the 1970s, the CN stands tall at 1815 feet, besting the Sears Tower at 1482 feet, exceeded only by Dubai’s Burj Khalifa at 2722 feet.

For just over $150 (including an extra $7/ticket to bypass the two hour wait) the three of us were at the top within 20 minutes. This excluded EdgeWalk, an experience that involves standing on the outside edge while restrained by cables (hell no), and the Skypod which is a smaller, higher deck with glass views.

The lobby features a gift shop and diner while the top level has a café, revolving restaurant, and glass floors for a direct view to the ground.

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I saw the Toronto Blue Jays playing at the SkyDome (Rogers Centre) and watched planes land at Billy Bishop Airport. Neat.

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Afterward we ventured into Chinatown for dinner. On the recommendation of a friend, we parked (for $20) and walked a block to Ramen Isshin, a Japanese noodle shop with stunning, massive bowls of food specifically engineered for Instagram.

I ordered the Red Dragon: “Taking our Red Miso Ramen to another level. Red Dragon Chilli sauce combines 15 different spices that packs this bowl with flavour. Pork belly cha shu, whole soft boiled marinated egg & thick twisty noodles. This bowl packs the flavour and depending on your spice tolerance may not be as spicy as it looks!”

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And because I’m greedy I asked for an extra side of noodles. By the time I was finished, including the 22oz Sapporo that washed it all down, I realized I’d exceeded my physical capacity.

We stayed the night at a Mariott in the suburbs with a packed agenda for the following day: eat, shop, and eat some more.

After going absurdly overboard on Korean barbecue, my little sister insisted on visiting Zara, a place where it’s apparently trendy for young women to dress like retirees from the Reagan era. It looks like they turned old curtains into ill-fitting clothes.

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She then insisted that we go to the “Drake store,” supposedly a retailer that sells gifts and souvenirs themed after Toronto’s best and only known hip hop artist. After failing to locate this mysterious shop (after admittedly putting in close to zero effort), we left Toronto and headed for the suburbs.

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Looking for something “uniquely” Canadian, we headed to Toys R Us, still thriving as a separate business entity in Canada. There, we picked up some gifts for a friend’s kid. The QX30’s rear cargo area required some Tetris-level organization to fit a small bicycle, suitcases, and various gift bags but it worked.

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I then insisted on heading north to Waterloo to see Blackberry’s headquarters. Of course, after getting demolished in the market by Apple and Samsung, what remained of Research In Motion’s sprawling campus was just a couple buildings with the Blackberry logo.

I did get a chance to check out the golf course and park that RIM generously helped build years ago, using the restroom and doing a little shopping at the pro shop.

On the way out of town I stopped for fuel and picked up an armful of Canadian/European candies and snacks, chatting with the clerk about life in St Louis and Detroit and how, despite living only a few hours away, I’ve always neglected to visit Toronto until now. Beautiful city, exceedingly friendly people.

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The rest of our trip was pleasingly uneventful, making it through border security in Sarnia without any delays. Mom and my siblings got home safely and finally got her QX56 back months later. Infiniti corporate had to ship out an engineer to sort out a mountain of electrical issues that both dealers were unable to resolve. More on that debacle in another story.

If you’ve talked yourself into believing you “need” a crossover, refuse to buy a more practical traditional wagon or van, and want a bit of driving engagement to go with it, give the QX30 a look. At its $29k starting price combined with Infiniti’s typically generous discounts, it’s a style-per-dollar winner that’s unexpectedly fun to drive.

Yet, that’s what makes the QX30 so unfortunate. It’s a decent offering from Infiniti, a brand that once claimed to be Japan’s BMW, but only because it borrows everything under the skin from Mercedes-Benz. Infiniti’s parent company, Nissan, over the last 15 or so years under Carlos Ghosn’s leadership, quietly subtracted driving enjoyment and durability in favor of bizarre looks, inconsistent dependability, and soulless driving dynamics for people who would rather be taking the bus.

Sure, they still make the Z and the GTR, but the satisfying feel of Nissan’s flagship sports cars no longer trickles down to the rest of the lineup. That solid, engaging experience that used to be associated with everything from the Stanza to the 300ZX is long gone.

So, if you buy the QX30, remember that it’s a one-off. Enjoy it but shop elsewhere when you’re ready to upsize.

Good: Style, transmission (in Sport mode), price

Not so good: Ride comfort, room, brand/prestige, navigation/infotainment

Price: $29k+

Pics:
http://jesda.com/2018/11/17/2018-infini ... n-toronto/


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MinisterofDOOM
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And not just any Mercedes. The s*** Mercedes.


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