Rants from the Ricer: WTF Infiniti Marketing

[RicerX]

So I have decided to run my mouth a bit and talk about some things in a monthly post in Gen Chat.

I will preface today's little rant with a few things that piss me off:
1) Oblivious drivers.
2) Drivers that hate driving.
3) Drivers that don't care about driving.
4) Drivers that suck.
5) A subset of category 4 that are passive aggressive against people who like driving and do not suck at it.

I drive my 370Z every single day of the week. I drive it to work. I drive it to go out to eat. I drive it to go buy beer. I drive it to hockey games, to band practice, and to friend's houses, and car shows, and autocross events. And then I drive it home. It's not a practical car, but that's the point - I like driving so I bought a driver's car. And EVERYTIME I drive it (doesn't matter when, or where), I run into a prime example of each of the four aforementioned driver categories. Lately, it seems that each category is growing exponentially, and I find myself WAKING UP EARLIER to go to work earlier to avoid the bulk of them, so I can leave work earlier and continue to avoid the bulk of them. The other day, I even passed the beer store because my "f*** this s***"-ometer pegged out before my lunch break with respect to terrible drivers.

I find that the target vehicle for said drivers is something exceptionally vanilla, like a Toyota Camry, or a Honda Accord, or a Hyundai Elantra. A car that's just a car. No soul. Nothing special - just an appliance. And that's fine. Some people like their cars to be appliances and their refrigerators to be LCD TVs (I never understood why you would want a crazy fridge with a half-a** TV when you could have a whole-a** fridge and a whole-a** TV elsewhere, but I digress.)

So yesterday morning, I noticed an Infiniti Q50 commercial (on my whole-a** 40" TV). It's got THE GUY I'm talking about. The guy that is the greatest hits compilation of my s***-list of drivers.

This commercial right effing here:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id8CQ-vsojQ[/youtube]

This guy would rather do anything but drive. He is clearly the most interesting man in the world, de-aged 30 years and devoid of his Dos Equis (which is good when you're behind the wheel, though this ***hole might as well have a beer in his hand, but apparently the marketing guys at Infiniti felt that may be frowned upon.)

This guy nearly creams two vehicles while driving like a drunk douchebag, but our lord and savior Infiniti is here for douchebag drivers like this with TECHNOLOGY.

Rather than finding ways to discourage people from distracted driving, Nissan and Infiniti is not only developing technology to prevent accidents, they're using marketing to sell the technology and communicate a message that says, "Hey, you can drive our s*** while looking great but not giving a s*** about your own safety or the safety of others around you."

These guys are promoting distracted driving. They paint a picture of social acceptance for driving douchebaggery.

I'm not saying the technology is bad. I'm not saying I'm the perfect driver, either. The rear visibility in my Z sucks, and maybe I wouldn't mind a blind-spot monitoring system. What I am saying is that when I'm driving, I'm invested in DRIVING. Not texting, not making restaurant reservations, not the model number of the fridge with the TV in it. I am disciplined and focused as a responsible driver sharing the road with other drivers. People die everyday while driving. It's the most dangerous thing most of us do on a daily basis. The least each of us can do is act like we give a s*** about where our car is going. You know... the car... that 3500lb missile we're in control of as drivers.

"Its instinct to protect leaves you free to drive."

No, Mr. Infiniti, that's not what you've shown me. You've shown me that you would rather sell cars to people who would rather do anything BUT drive.

The next thing you know, I'll be watching my fridge and see an ad with people racing around in a stock Altima, thinking it's a race car instead...

[Rogue One]

Excellent rant! Looking forward to more submissions.
On a side note... Only a 40" screen? You do know BIGGER is better!

[krash]

This is the rant I go through every day on my way to school and back.

[numbnuts240]

ah that blasted commercial that plays during EVERY. SINGLE. COMMERCIAL. BREAK. on hulu. and yet i keep catching myself yelling at the guy to pay attention.

i typically go home the long way to avoid 75% less cars than the direct route, which is half as long

[SX APPEAL]

Couldn't agree more. I'd also add people who are litterally too old to be competent drivers. The other day I was about to turn left out of the parking lot at work into the center lane to get into traffic because its a busy 4 lane street at rush hour, and damn good thing I was paying attention because some 900 year old lady was just cruising right down the turn lane completely oblivious to what she was doing. She stayed there the whole time she was within sight, a distance of at least a 1/4 mile. This is why people should have to retake their driver's test when they turn 65, and every year after as far as I concerned.

[lne937s]

Well, lets hope the Krueger has a different take on Infiniti marketing. Although Infiniti has had some decent designs and decent cars come out, I can't say I was a fan of many of the changes De Nysschen made over the past two years. The emphasis seems to have been on the wrong things.... But I guess the guy who came up with Q__ and QX__ is not our problem anymore (going to make every Cadillac CT_).

On a separate note, I would prefer if they just went with the JDM names (Patrol, Skyline, Fuga, etc.).

[themadscientist]

Win, this thread is full of it.

I'm relieved to see I am not the only one feeling like Thomas Jayne in the supermarket watching the cult grow and become empowered.

Not only do they pollute the roadway with cars less inspired than the dump I took this morning, not only do they seem to be magnetically attracted to whatever of my vehicles I'm driving, but they are emboldened to challenge me for not cultivating a pod version of me as milquetoast as them and assert that people who actually enjoy driving might be not just an anachronism, nay, they are a threat to the new order of mediocrity.

I invite them to commence fornicating themselves lest my penetration of their most convenient bodily orifice and injection of my goo of great justice be deemed necessary to save them. F you. F your Hyundai eblahblah, f your bluetooth cupholder, FOR SURE F your stick figure family stickers and GTFO of my face and the way of my car before I bring excitement into your life against your will.

You suck so bad I am forced to talk to the Prius D bag because while I agree with him on virtually nothing at least he is passionate about SOMETHING!

[Dattebayo]

Meh, driving a truck for a living changes your outlook on driving as a whole. I pretty much hate driving now, because of the idiots, because of the untold hours spent behind the wheel, etc... I would welcome a self-driving car just so I can actually have time to safely check paperwork, have phone meetings that I can actually pay attention to, and possibly even take in the scenery on longer drives...

My question is this: Do you spend hundreds of hours in traffic? I mean alternating crawling and stopped on a freeway for at least an hour several times a day? Before you throw all the dishwater out with the dishes, maybe you should understand there are others who really can't enjoy driving anymore. Maybe they can't afford a fun car, or like you said, fun isn't practical for what they need it to do. And maybe they're stuck in the box all day in traffic like I am, too.

[themadscientist]

My main ride is a truck. Racy cars are always busted. Even my truck is racy.

[Dattebayo]

I won't defend against the other points he made, because, well, it sounds like he's just describing people as a whole. And I agree, cause I hate people too. They suck.

[themadscientist]

People are easy to hate. Most of them are a waste of space with unjustified senses of relevance.

[sx moneypit]

People are easy to hate. Most of them are a waste of space with unjustified senses of relevance.

THIS^^^

[MinisterofDOOM]

When I'm Emperor "driving aids" and "safety aids" will be banned by Imperial Decree.

Anyone associated with the creation, implementation, or promotion of auto-braking systems and lane-departure systems will be hanged publicly for their crimes against Humanity.

Pedestrian impact laws will be repealed and prohibited.

Distracted driving will be punishable by lifetime license revocation.

There will be special busses for people who can't drive because they got their licenses revoked due to driving ineptitude.
These busses will have quintuple fare costs. Resulting income will fund the license and enforcement programs necessary to keep idiots off the road and riding expensive busses. Income from these Camry-owner-havens will also help reduce the insurance costs of responsible drivers.

Failure to use turn signals will be punished with a $25,000 fine on first offense and 5-year license revocation on 2nd offense.

Driving without headlights on after dark will be punishable by having a blunt stick jabbed in each eye, in addition to lifetime license revocation. If you can't be bothered to notice your headlights aren't on at night, you clearly don't have any real need for eyes.

Failure to merge with highway traffic at posted speeds will be a citable offense. Repeat offenses will result in escalating fines.

Life on the road will be much more pleasant for all.

[themadscientist]

We could take care of most of that by making justifiable road rage legal.

[Rogue One]

For the love of God, can someone please explain to me what's with this new trend of a**holes stopping anywhere from one to three vehicle lengths away when they are the lead car at a stoplight? On rural back roads, the intersection lights might be on timer only, but nearly everywhere else you need to be on the trip to get it to change. I've actually had to get out of my vehicle and go explain this to drivers when we've sat through several light cycles. And it's not just the younger drivers, as I've seen this done by people of all ages.

[themadscientist]

I've not seen this yet, I hope it doesn't come around here. I will go around said jackass and take my rightful place at the head of the line.

[Mr. Music]

For the love of God, can someone please explain to me what's with this new trend of a**holes stopping anywhere from one to three vehicle lengths away when they are the lead car at a stoplight? On rural back roads, the intersection lights might be on timer only, but nearly everywhere else you need to be on the trip to get it to change. I've actually had to get out of my vehicle and go explain this to drivers when we've sat through several light cycles. And it's not just the younger drivers, as I've seen this done by people of all ages.

I've wondered the same! I see that scenario on a daily basis and have noticed that the driver is usually too busy with their cellphone to notice their distance from the intersection. Sometimes I feel like buying a truck with a giant front bumper to push the idiots forward... but I like having my driver's license.

[frapjap]

I've got a new style of ***hole to add to the rant.

Since the sun is rising later and getting dark earlier, I'm making some of my trips for work in the dark. I've noticed this new, major ***hole trend of driver. I'll paint the picture.

We're all motoring along at approximately 60mph (sure, the speed limit is 65, but traffic is so thick, its not going to happen), 2 lanes, side by side into Boston before the road becomes a 4 mph standstill all the way into the city. I've seen some major ***holes turn on their high beams as soon as they get on the interstate. They will leave them on, get all nice and close, and be sure they're blazing in your mirrors. It doesn't matter which lane you're in (especially when they're both moving at the same rate of speed). Its an extremely aggravating tactic that gets folks out of your way, or at least switching lanes. If you do switch your lane, you slow down traffic in the new lane by squeezing yourself in to let Princess Bright Lights move up one whole car length. This isn't productive to anyone, nor does it allow traffic to flow.
Typically its SUV and truck owners who use this d!ck-ish maneuver to aim their brightest lights through the rear windows of the sedan and coupe drivers. I'm really close to tying a string to a pouch of nails on my rear bumper so that I can pull on it when they start this awful habit.

[PapaSmurf2k3]

^I've often thought about carrying one of those monstrosity 5+ million candle-watt power spot lights in my car for those ***holes.


http://www.amazon.com/Cyclops-C18MIL-Co ... +spotlight

[Bubba1]

For the love of God, can someone please explain to me what's with this new trend of a**holes stopping anywhere from one to three vehicle lengths away when they are the lead car at a stoplight? On rural back roads, the intersection lights might be on timer only, but nearly everywhere else you need to be on the trip to get it to change. I've actually had to get out of my vehicle and go explain this to drivers when we've sat through several light cycles. And it's not just the younger drivers, as I've seen this done by people of all ages.

I don't think it's one specific cause. I also see distracted drivers being a big part of it. But in my neck of the woods, for example, where there are a lotta tractor trailer rigs rumbling through town making turns at those traffic lights, I see many drivers hanging back at the lights so the big rigs can make their turns without hassle. And if a big rig fails to clear an intersection on the first try, around here you'll instantly hear all sorts of honking, cursing, and see a rash of extended middle fingers, And if big rig doesn't clear on the first try, and requires cars to back up a bit for the second try, you can add pitchforks and hangman nooses to the mix. Welcome to the northeast corridor, where the license plate tags should read "getouttamyway-haveaniceday-biotch".

As far idiots that leave their high beams on, that's been a problem that's been around as long as there's been high beam lights. When I was younger and more angry about it, I bought pair of insanely powerful CIBIE foglights for my DD. So when an idiot wouldn't dim his light as I approached, I flicked on the ol' CIBIE's and burned the offending driver's retinas until they passed or dimmed. Most of the time, they dimmed their lights. I don't do that anymore, so perhaps I've become more tolerant of idiots in recent years.

[RicerX]

^I've often thought about carrying one of those monstrosity 5+ million candle-watt power spot lights in my car for those ***holes.


http://www.amazon.com/Cyclops-C18MIL-Co ... +spotlight

To add to it - I want one of those for when people are up my a** when I'm already going 10 over on a one lane road and they turn their brights on at me. When driving a Z, it kinda sucks when an F150 flips his brights on at you.

I would mount that light in the back of the hatch and put a switch in the dead button on the center and flip it to happy mode for tailgaters. It would be epic.

[Kompresshun]

I used to have a couple of Hella 500 offroad lights hidden behind my grill in my Ranger that doubled in use for those ***holes who like to run their high beams. Can you see now ***hole?

I've been meaning to pick up some of those Cree LED spotlights for the Pathy. Maybe some on the back wouldn't be a bad idea either

[AZhitman]

I was JUST discussing this commercial with Dave Muramoto last week.... How the HELL that commercial got approved is beyond me.

"Its instinct to protect leaves you free to drive."

NO, its technological bullshart leaves you free to screw off behind the wheel, endangering everyone who didn't spend $70k on a new Q50.

Wonder if there's some sort of sensor that will alert the guy that I'm about to PIT him into a guardrail?

[audtatious]

Guys, I can set it so that it does not leave my lane and it will brake automatically. I find that great as I read emails and do Facebook replies

Anyway, back on the subject. Truckers............hills.............lane changes into traffic going 25mph faster. So safe they are.