Poetry Corner

[TurboSauce]

Ok I kinda write poems and thought about posting a few of em.If you want you can rate them out of 10 and post your own to be rated.I guess i'll start it.

I call this one Darkness

Step outside,take a breaththe air compresses your chest,the sky dark grey and lifeless,the grass dead withblack patches all over,rotting leaves on the groundmotionless kitten to your lefta single white door in an ocean of blacksomeone is staring over your shoulderthey whisper to you "come inside"your body involuntarily walks closer to the door,your heart beats ten times every second,the smell of rotting carcass enters your right nostril,your eyes start to water,as you step up the wooden stairs the creaking gets loudera message written in blood on the floor"run, run away now".you can't help but walk closer to the door,a blood curdling scream sends shivers down your spine,it's already to late,the door slams shut on your behind,the air turns cold and there's nothing in sight,welcome to the darkness, where you will never see light.

It's amateur i know
Modified by TurboSauce at 12:49 AM 2/19/2010

[TurboSauce]

ok and let's set something straight now don't criticize cuz of age, racial background etc.this is just for poetry.

[RCA]

I am no poetry critic but I liked it. It's REALLY "emo" but as I read it I started feeling scared and nervous to walk into that door. So if any thing, it was able to make me feel something when reading. Mission Accomplished.

8 of 10 (no experience with poetry)

[TurboSauce]

it's got that slow and scary thing towards the end. i have MULTIPLES TO UPLOAD but i'll do em one at a time and after the tread grows legs.

The Show

What do I do?when I got control, I got the power,I start the show.First things first all the haters gotta go, no time for you guys ruining my show,got the lights on the top, so they right below mei know erry hoe out there just wan blow me.I'm so high aint nobody could control me,current flowing through my veins no body can turn it off,shocking and terrifying,don't be scared, but I ain't lying.all the power surge thru my head it's like my enemies are the fed'stryna stop me,stop me from reaching to the top.no i ain't gonna stop,i'm so high like a balloon i'm gonna pop.keep gettin higher and higher eventually i'm gonna drop.but until then i'm not gonna stophold on to your socks cuz i'm just gonna knock them offmy flow so hard it just make your heart stopit's my show what you gonna do?say something stupid and the doors there for you.

[MinisterofDOOM]

I have never understood why people think of darkness as cold or oppressive or frightening. The darkness is peaceful and warm.

[krimsonviper]

I have never understood why people think of darkness as cold or oppressive or frightening. The darkness is peaceful and warm.

Peaceful, yes, warm, no. Unless you have a heater.

[TurboSauce]

It's because they loose one of their instincts right off the bat so they're naturally scared.

[krimsonviper]

MoD's smiley is broken. The one in his sig. Soon, my smiley will be a big "x"!

[Urabus GodofTraction]

Peaceful, yes, warm, no. Unless you have a heater.

You've never been outside during a new moon in the South, have you? Warm would be nice.

[TurboSauce]

>.<

[krimsonviper]

You've never been outside during a new moon in the South, have you? Warm would be nice.

Nope. I haven't been outside of CA, actually. Care to invite me over for a beer or 2? No raep plz.

[MinisterofDOOM]

MoD's smiley is broken. The one in his sig. Soon, my smiley will be a big "x"!

I know.

[Razi]

MoD's smiley is broken. The one in his sig. Soon, my smiley will be a big "x"!

[krimsonviper]

I know.

I didn't know NICO hosted that for you. I thought you hosted it yourself on your email site?

[MellowZ32]

No raep plz.

because is going to consensual?

[krimsonviper]

You have a Russian accent! No wai!

[TurboSauce]

back on topic.

Stress'in

Times of stress, and times of fear, I just wish i was always there.If i could've caught you whilst you were falling, you bet i would. If i could stop the world from spinning for you, I would, if i could knock out all of your enimes and get you some ice cream, yeah, I would.No I wouldn't laugh at you when you fall, ok maybe a little, but only if you laugh first.I wouldn't make fun of you when you're stressed, I'd try to calm you down.When there's no one else around i'd love to hear about your day, maybe even watch a chic flick with you.I'm not a complete a**, It's only an image.Don't think of me as shallow for having it, you have one two.You know that smile that you put on when you're sad, you see through it, and I do too. so that image is what i do.If i don't get what you mean right away, don't get dissapointed.I'm not perfect, sometimes i'm not on the ball.If i could be perfect I'd be dead, So if you want me to be perfect, Why don't you shoot me in the head?

[Speedy7_7]

it sounds like you have cool ideas, but you are too concerned with rhyming to get the point fully across. forget rhyming for a little bit and let yourself free flow. Otherwise i really like them.

[TurboSauce]

Heh <3I don't rhyme in all of them. I have a hell of alot on fb i wana bring to the public.and i'f you're gonna be gay and take them as your own let me know, and/or give credit! But i sorta wana see what others have.....

[TurboSauce]

here's three

When stars collide

The darkness grows, all feeling goes,the heat is leaving, the blood turns coldthe vision fading, the hearing failing,the smell won't go, but it stays with the soul,the damp shirt, crimson red,a motionless body lying on the bed,in a dark pool of red,no light in, no light out.that's just what this is about.every joint cut, the heat is now gone,the beating is now done,now it's time for some real fun.pour the contents of the canteen on the bed,grab a match now everyone's scared.Fake a smile, 'it's gonna be all-right'light the match and count to three,a big explosion guaranteed.a giant smile lights this soul.as everything is burnt.now nothing is left.no evidence was kept.

Death

a pitch dark soul looking for light.always restless through the night,my blood, my brain, my pain,why altogether again?chop my neck and call me dead.carry my casket to the graveyard,6 feet under the stars, i'm closer then when i start.yet still a thousand miles from your heartcut the artery, tie the vein, hope that i don't get up again.cough up blood my nose starts to floodflood with my bloodmy eyes now redcrimson tears fall down again.the blood out me ears,yet nobody cares.i wouldn't even matterif i lived for a thousand years.

&

Heart

Your Heart, so motionless and grey.it's time to die and fade away.turn to dust and blow awayblood boiled to e-vap-or-atecrimson tears, no one cares.no reason to live.no reason to kid.laugh in pain,play the gamehope that every day your troubles fade away.cut the skin, leave the s***it's not welcome here.the madness lies within.like a cracker snap.hope you get a heart attack.dry the blood, and toast the heart.crush it to crumbs, blow it away.no more love. it only hurtsnot take pain awaydrugs addicting,pain almost gone.over the topjust one more drop.not gonna stopthis is the suicide shop.

-And they aren't that great i know but i like em

[seang]

While you lie paralyzed with your eyes bugged out in horror, I hover over you with a grin a mile wide. I stare at you and through you. My world is alive with torment. My teeth are flesh tearing fangs, I have no lips. My eyes show only that which fills you with terror; I am the ugliest thing you have ever seen. I get closer. You writhe in vain, struggling to escape me. Face to face I breathe on you. I exhale my rancid, rotton breath upon you. With each passing moment I contemplate more ways to confound you.

[TurboSauce]

I like it very fear inducing.i give it a 8/10 cuz to me at least you could have used different words in some places.

[krash]

Just messin around lol. I don't know why most of the people I know that are "poets" insist on writing emo stuff but w/e. Your stuff flows pretty well, and good vocabulary. Is this for a class or just for fun?

[TurboSauce]

for fun and i'm not emo....most of the time...i just know my emotions..... I have alot......and we mostly write like this because life sucksand we are writing about how life sucks loli have alot of ooey gooey sweetheart stuffs but i'm not ready to put Them up yet lol

[krash]

haha, I got you. I just had to make an emo reference is all. I used to write some stuff, but it was all about girls/for girls

[Bubba1]

haha, I got you. I just had to make an emo reference is all. I used to write some stuff, but it was all about girls/for girls

No love for limericks?

There was once was a man from Nantucket.....er never mind....

[MinisterofDOOM]

Greatest poem ever:http://www.divinecomedy.org/di...01:16

Read and enjoy.

[bluepillow]

+1 for Inferno. One of the few books I read in High School that kept my interest.