OMG My apartment is such a heap

[r34 gtr]

My apartment is a piece of garbage.

So since I have moved in my

1) water heater exploded flooding the entire downstairs with about 2" of water. I have a large downstairs (that's what she said...).

When this happened it pretty much totaled out the carpet. Yeah the landlord didn't bother to do anything about that. We walked around on plastic drop cloths for a week or so until it chilled out.

2) Microwave (over the range type) went KA-BOOM one day. Lots of smoke. Luckily they got us a baller new one.

3) Power upstairs went out for a week. No joke. It took them a week to fix this garbage. Extension cords running up the stairs and s***. Completely ridiculous. I was getting +/- 22v through the outlets.

4) My dishwasher is the biggest piece of s*** I have ever had the displeasure of using. Oh my sweet lord it does absolutely nothing. It breaks more dishes than not, and it has to date never gotten one dish cleaner than when I put it in there in the first place. Usually, things come out dirtier. This is not an exaggeration. If you do not believe me I invite you to come to my home and see for yourself. I want to go office space michael-on-fax-machine on this thing.

5) The outlets in my bathroom have never worked. This isn't a problem except for when I want to buzz my hair, charge something... you know what? No. Its not cool. This is always a problem.

Enough of listing s***, this could take weeks. Lets just get to the happenings of today.

So recently we have had problems with the wiring (who woulda thunk it??) where the breakers downstairs will trip if the heating is running and, oh, say you turn on the TV or the compressor on the fridge kicks on. You know, s*** that happens all the time.

Well that stopped bothering me when I realized (took me all of 2 minutes the first time it happened) that I could just cycle the main breaker a few times and reset each breaker after that and s*** would work again. Got into a habit of that, showed the roommate how to do it. Whatever.

So today I just get back from the dentist from getting a dry socket worked on (so now it doesn't hurt like eight b****es in a b**** boat, but my mouth tastes so foul I cannot describe it) and I make some soup and sit down to watch some TV and relax. Turn on TV, then satellite box, then stereooo...oooh s***. Breaker trips.

So I go to flip the breakers, like ya do, and nothing. I have no power downstairs. It will not come back on.

Luckily the fridge has power, so I don't have to worry about my food going bad. It is on a separate circuit from the rest of the place.

So the landlord has pretty much stopped fixing our s*** because we call him every week for something else that has crapped out. He doesn't want to deal with electrical problems because "he isn't an electrician." I would take a crack at it but naw, this shouldn't be my problem. Just because I know how to wire a building doesn't mean I want to or should have to.

I should also add that every other apartment in this complex has nice wood floors, newer appliances, french doors leading to the patio out back, and so on. Mine has 30 year old ruined carpet and linoleum. I pay the same as everyone else.

The lease is vague and full of holes. I really don't have the time to threaten the complex though.

Sorry for the wall of text rant s***, but I am just an irritable motherf***er right now.

So how about you guys,

Does anyone else live in a s*** hole that should be condemned?

[snwbrdr435]

Buy a house

[drksolest]

Oh my sweet lord it does absolutely nothing.

n' i'm out!

sorry for ur misfortune... luv ur rant

[r34 gtr]

Dude I know. This is my last semester of college, then I am frickin GONE.

Unfortunately I am going to be in an apartment next year too, but it isn't even built yet, and I am helping build it. It will be problem free, I swear to god. No twelve year old meth baby is going to be wiring my new apartment up, just me and my badass electrician, Don.

[snwbrdr435]

Well i liked the rant. Its scary how things end up getting rigged together by some people. My girlfriends parents house brand new million dollar house. The drywall job was half assed along with a bunch of other bs. Contractor sucked balls. When i finally do either build or buy a house it is getting a very thorough inspection.

[r34 gtr]

One thing I have learned:

A really expensive house only differs from a not-that-expensive house in its size. The angles WILL be all f***ed up, the studs WILL be irregularly spaced, etc. unless you build it your damn self. Sure it may have nicer fixtures and all that jazz, but when it comes right down to it everything is still going to have the fit and finish of a pile of animal feces.

Just thought of another thing about my abomination of a hovel that I call a hovel:

My kitchen sink is hilariously shallow. We are talking four inches. My faucet has no curves, it juts out right over the sink, mocking me, and will only allow one plate or utensil or what have you under it at a time. Thanks for going the extra mile first realty. You guys sure know how to please a customer. Just because you all have tiny penises doesn't mean you have to take out your sexual frustration on my kitchen appliances.

Oh, my roommate just informed me that OUR KITCHEN WINDOW JUST FELL OUT. Like it is f***ing gone. There is a hole in the f***ing wall. GREAT.

When we moved in my roommate gave the realty people WHO WERE THERE WITH HIM the door knocker, peep hole, house number, and doorbell and asked them to put it on the door. They proceeded to throw them all into the garbage in front of him. Talk about courtesy. Thanks ***holes!

[drksolest]

Oh, my roommate just informed me that OUR KITCHEN WINDOW JUST FELL OUT. Like it is f***ing gone. There is a hole in the f***ing wall. GREAT.

Thanks ***holes!

omg too funny

[snwbrdr435]

I demand pictures of your hovel

[r34 gtr]

[sx moneypit]

Looks like the roof on my house before i spent 7000$ getting it redone.

[Empty V]

How much is your rent? Why is there a real estate company involved? You need to start looking for a new place. The conditions you're living in sound like 3rd world luxury. Put a list together of everything you fixed and everything that needs to be fixed plus your complaints about the service. Once you have a spot that you'd like to move to bring this list to them and say that you're going to the health department if they don't fix every item on the list. Take pictures of everything and keep a log of all your calls. If they're real ***holes I'd take them to civil court for damages and extra expenses.

Out here in so-cal apartments can't afford to slack off. We shell out a ton of $$ for our places but they've got amazing service and the usual cheap appliances. But, when they break they're fixed that day. Right now we're paying $1500 for a 1+1 900sqft with wood floors, granite counter tops, washer, dryer, fridge, microwave, HVAC. Basically everything a normal person needs. Our last place was a 2+2 1100sqft and was $2000/mo and we had to rent the large appliances.

[Jesda]

You might want to ask NATO to help out with repairs.

[4cefed]

I didn't know Chrysler was building apartments.

[Jesda]

I didn't know Chrysler was building apartments.

[r34 gtr]

Honestly I don't give a crap. I'm going to be gone forever at the beginning of May, so it is not worth the effort to pack up all of my crap (there is a lot of it) move it, and unpack it, only to pack it all back up again less than 3 months.

And if you must know, the place costs $760/mo and utilities and internet run us another $300/mo because this place is drafty as hell. Probably because of the lack of roof and bullet holes, or "speed holes" if you will, that you can see in the above picture I have provided.

Side note: a very nice electrician guy just came and fixed my power! Yay! Apparently a wall outlet in the living room clapped out, and just happened to be connected to the Microwave's circuit breaker?? WTF? And when the heating kicked on it would err, "shock" the outlet and things would go bye bye. The heating is on its own breaker. Who the f*** knows. At least I can watch terrible CINEMAX AFTER DARK p0rn (no penetration FTL) on my 70" 1994 Hitachi projection TV now.

[4cefed]

Sorry to hear about it bro. I guess your deposit is bye bye?

[r34 gtr]

Oh hell no, I WILL be receiving my security deposit in full, or they will be receiving my foot up their rectal canals in full. Their choice really, but I am hoping for option 1.

This place was a crap shoot when I got here. Nothing I could do would leave any lasting impact on its crappyness.

[4cefed]

I got nailed in a changing lease one time and I elected not to renew. The only thing I didn't pay for was hot water. So I left the hot water running... for a month.

[danshaz82]

best rant ive read in a while. but ive looking for a house for next year all this week, and im tweakin out now haha.

one of my friends houses had a really bad gas leak. like real bad. they got that fixed and found out there was a skunk living under the house. and every time they turned the stove on, the skunk would spray. they also had fleas for the first month.

another buddy of mine asked the landlords to change the locks on his house the first day they moved in, and they refused. two days later someone broke in (cause they had the key to the old locks) and stole his mac pro computer and imac monitor. that stuffs worth more than the house its self. the land lords came the next day and changed the locks. also, his house was in a fire at one point, because we went into the crawl space, and everything is charred. like 5 alarm fire charred. you could breathe on the studs and they would break apart. its so ridiculous how s***ty they keep college houses.

[infinitgkid]

I live on a college dorm... need I say more?

[danshaz82]

I live on a college dorm... need I say more?

second year too

[MinisterofDOOM]

My dishwasher sucks as well. But my apartment management is great about very prompt repairs. Yesterday I went to run it (for the first time in a few weeks since I don't use enough dishes to need it very often) and the water pump made horrible noises for a while without pumping any water. I thought "YES! New diswasher time!" But no...5 more seconds of grinding noises and the pump started working. Boooo.

My dishwasher just manages to spread the grime equally across all dishes rather than actually cleaning it.

[r34 gtr]

Do not get me started on the on-campus housing I had to endure. At least I expected that place to be god awful. It was WWII-era government housing turned student housing. It was the projects, literally, and we treated it as such. I think there was one week when I set the dumpster on fire three times. When the police came everyone just shrugged and said "I dunno who dunit"

Porch monkeys we most definitely were. I remember my buddy Hashish (no f***ing lie, he was from Nepal) talking to the cops whilst tripping face on some mushrooms while we all hid in the bathtub. Good times.

I no longer set dumpsters on fire, but this place makes me seriously contemplate it. I just do this kind of s*** to make myself feel better. Take THAT unreasonably tall speed bump!



More crap wrong with this place, you know, because its suck goes on forever:

Our screen door for the sliding glass door on the patio fell off one day last week, completely unaided by us, so my roommate just threw it in the woods. Problem solved. Not like they had any idea there was one there in the first place.

Apparently there were sliding glass doors on my roommate's shower/tub deal in his bathroom. Well as you can probably guess those f***ed up on him pretty quick, because we live in some kind of joke house HAHAHA HA HAAAAA, so he just ripped them off and threw them in the woods too. Curtain rod + curtain = problem solved. Kaiser Permanente style.

OH!!! Best part about this place you ask??

Wait for it....

ITS F***ING FIFTY FEET FROM A RAILROAD CROSSING!! WOOOOO WOOOOO HELLO MR TRAIN!!! WHATS THAT?!?! ITS 4AM?!? THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP!!!

Oh my loving CHRIST I hate trains. Every time one comes by (you can hear them leaning on the horn way off in the distance because we have walls made of origami paper) one of us will go find the other and say something along the lines of "Uh oh, guessss whaaaattt??? TRAIN YAY!!! :P!!"

its SO loud it rattles the pictures on the walls. We have a lot of pictures. This of course means LOTS of rattling.

Train traffic really picks up between 11pm and 5am. GREAT.

[MinisterofDOOM]

ITS F***ING FIFTY FEET FROM A RAILROAD CROSSING!! WOOOOO WOOOOO HELLO MR TRAIN!!! WHATS THAT?!?! ITS 4AM?!? THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP!!!

Meh...I live 1 mile directly off the end of an airforce base runway. There are times when you can't even hear someone shouting over the noise of the jets. I'm pretty used to it, though...doesn't wake me up and I only really notice if it interrupts a conversation.

[PapaSmurf2k3]

Damn dude... that's a good rant.

When are you gonna come swing by Memphis or Tunica?

[infinitgkid]

Damn dude... that's a good rant.

Yeah, this thread gets my vote for "Rant of the Month"

[r34 gtr]

I tried to get my mom to give me a whole bunch of money so I could gamble it all away in Tunica, but she wouldn't buy into it. I even tried the "But mom, they are going to comp us a room and everything!"

Yeah...

By the way, almost got back up last night to inform you that

I was woken up by a train at 3:37am this morning. WHEE. This time I heard it to far off that I really thought I was going insane. Then, sure enough, FIFTEEN minutes later it comes rumbling through WOOO WOOOO ARE YOU AWAKE YET?!?! WOOOOO!!!

Its so loud that you cannot yell over the noise, and I have to cover my ears because it physically hurts not to.

I'll update this if anything monumental happens to this place, or I decide to burn it down to spare next years tenants the suffering, but lets just call it quits for now.

I want to hear about your crappy houses/apartments/condos/hovels! I can't be the only one!

It can't just be noisy or broken-down, it needs to run the gamut of terrible.

[breadbox]

Yesterday everyone leaves the house round 4pm. I am left to my own devices and the power goes out until just before everyone else gets back home.

So I was bored and without power for an hour and a half.

Wake up this morning and there is no power. Start yelling out the back door that I want coffee...Power comes back on. I run and get the coffee pot ready to brew and the power goes back out.

We had a hurricane and had power the entire time when almost the whole city had none. But randomly throughout the year we just lose power for a few hours or an afternoon. You know if you stopped build tons of apartment no one can afford you could stop messing with my power grid. I swear the are building these damn things for the Chinese arriving in 2012.

[breadbox]

But the house..

1. the dryer ducting is approx 22 feet in length from the wall to where it goes out side. There used to be rats living in it, but they died gotta "steamed and then clogged it all.

2. The garage bay door is rotted.

3. on the left side of our house I believe there is a huge termite nest, possibly eating part of my home.

4. the roof is more of an idea then a device for preventing rain from coming inside.

[r34 gtr]

Haha awesome! well, not awesome, but you know what I mean.

22 feet of dryer ducting is classy.

You know, I have no idea where our dryer vents to. I don't even know if it does. I need to check this out...