Welcome, and sorry to hear about the circumstances that brought you the QX4
We have a section on oil filters that basically recommends you don't get Fram, and that Puraltors are very decent. I've heard pretty good things about Wix/Napa Gold around here.
post6254749.html#p6254749
Bosch and K&N also make great filters. If you want to really see what they're made of and get a good run-down and comparison, check out some of the links at the end.
I personally use a MicroGreen. It has a dual-stage microfilter system so the really fine particulates get filtered out as well. It's meant to be used for extended oil changes, but I don't. The oil is actually visibly cleaner when I change it.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007USGKGS
As for the wrenches, I have a cap-style that's about 2¾" in diameter. I would go to a local parts store, get an example filter from them, and test-fit wrenches until you find the right one. I ended up having to buy two, though, since the first one was an ⅛" bigger than the second, so it skipped when things got too tight.
Your other option is to buy a strap wrench or pliers since they pretty much fit all filters. I've always found the strap wrenches to be a bit fiddly, though.
http://www.amazon.com/Channellock-209-9 ... B0009WG5SU