J30 is running! No more fuel modulator or drop resistor.
I didn't use the switch setup because it would be nearly impossible to run the wires through the engine firewall.
I just did some splicing of the wires, that connect to the fuel pump. Black and red wire that I bought. Ran it through. pulled through side bolster of back seat, then tearing off side panel near both passenger doors.
I then pulled the wire through the vent looking things near heater core that go through from passenger to drivers side. And ultimately splice to the ignition wires. I now some will say its not "technically right" but its not a big deal. The fuel pressure regulator is doing its job and sending the extra fuel to the return line. no bogging down after high revs. Very happy with the results.
Hopefully this will be useful to others with this sort of problem. As it is, parts like the fuel mod are rare and expensive for our j30's.