Nine Rules

[Tino]

Nine Rules for Running Under the Radar By Eric Peters

Getting rid of something you don't want is much harder than not getting it in the first place--for example, a beer gut. This is also true when it comes to speeding tickets. Far better to avoid getting one in the first place than to deal with the aftereffects: fat fines, insurance "surcharges," and points on your DMV record. The cunning road warrior knows the secret is stealth. Keep a low profile and run under the radar--so to speak.

Here are a few tips for quick, efficient, and ticket-free travel:

Always run in packs: Herd animals always travel in groups because it's safer; each one has less of a chance of being picked off by a hungry lion that way than if he were out there all by himself, the only target at hand. It's the same with driving faster than the law allows. Your odds of being ticketed when driving 75 mph in a 55 zone are far greater when you're all by yourself than if you're traveling with a pack of cars going about the same speed. You don't stand out if there are five cars around you, and you've also got four other potential victims for any lurking cop. Much better odds!

Find a rabbit: If you saw "Smokey and the Bandit," you're familiar with the term. A "rabbit" or "blocker car" is one that runs interference for you, tripping any radar traps that may be present and occupying the law while you sail on by a minute or so later. Rabbits are easy to find; most of the time you'll encounter one within moments of entering any major freeway. Look for another car that's driving faster than everyone else, and slip in behind him--but not too close. Maintain a good following distance; leave enough real estate between you and him so that if there is a cop up there someplace, it's the rabbit who'll trip the radar--and it'll be the rabbit the cop goes after, not you. On lucky days, you'll find a rabbit you can follow for hours of near-invulnerable fast moving--until he gets off, or gets pulled over.

Avoid cruising in the far-left lane. Since cops are, more often than not, skulking in turnouts and medians between divided highways, the cars being "painted" by their radar are typically those traveling at high speed in the left lane. Radar emits a diffuse beam, and cars farther over to the right are not as easily tagged by it. Perhaps more important, they're less conspicuous to the cop. He's there to generate revenue with the least amount of hassle possible (to him). Tagging speeders in the far-left lane is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Do not drive aggressively. Constant jockeying for position, bumper-riding, and lane-changing will one day get you into an accident just as surely as living off Slim Jims will clog your pipes. And in the meantime, these rude behaviors make you much more noticeable to any cop who is running radar by the side of the road--or who is slipping onto the freeway from an on-ramp behind you. The key to fast, safe driving is smooth, fast driving. Pass only when necessary, and then slip back into your groove and motor on. Don't jerk the car around, tap the brakes constantly, or otherwise make a spectacle of yourself.

Turn your radar on. That's your mental radar, or situational awareness. If you're going to drive fast, pay attention to what's going on around you. Constantly scan the road ahead (and behind) for the scent of bacon. Be on the alert for unmarked police cars. (Pay special attention to any nondescript four-door sedans, especially Ford Crown Victorias and Chevy Luminas--two favored law-enforcement cruisers.) Take note of the behavior of other drivers, and act accordingly. If you see brake lights going on up ahead for no apparent reason, it's probable there's a squealer up ahead. Slow down. Pay especial attention to the way big-rig truckers are behaving. If they're barreling along at 75 mph, it's probably free and clear--so full steam ahead! If you see them driving slowly, however, so should you.

Avoid driving fast between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. For one thing, there are fewer drivers on the road, making any "speeders" stand out. For another, the night hours are "drunk patrol"--when cops are looking out for lushes and will beam in on you in a heartbeat if you're doing anything technically illegal, as a pretext for pulling you over to see if you've been drinking.

Enforcement day. There aren't enough cops to watch all the roads all the time; the way it works, rather, is that certain roads--or stretches of roads--are targeted periodically for heightened enforcement. If you notice a cop every couple of miles, it's a good bet that the road has been designated today's revenue enhancer. Slow down. Conversely, if you are driving that same stretch of road on another day and see no police at all, it's likely they're elsewhere--and relying on your paranoia, rather than their radar, to keep you muddling along at 55. It's safe to put the hammer down.

Choose your weapon properly. As tempting as it is to road-trip in a lava-red Viper or a fly-yellow Ferrari, you'll go farther, faster, in something more subtle. I once made the trip to Memphis, Tenn., from Washington, D.C. (to pay homage to the King at Graceland), in under 11 hours--driving a Ford Taurus wagon at a near-constant 80-plus. Cops are not looking for green Ford Tauruses; they're gunning for someone in a rice rocket with a 3-foot-tall wing and an oversized "fart-can" muffler. Stay away from bright reds, blues, and yellows--anything that makes your car stand out like Shaq at a little-people's convention. Silver, gray, and white are great "mixer" colors that let you blend right into the background.

Heed the rule of ten. Talk off the record to most cops, and they'll tell you that, for the most part, you won't get a ticket for driving 10 mph over the posted limit. Thus, 65 mph would be absolutely safe on most highways posted 55. And realistically, you can push that to 70-75 mph and still retain very favorable odds--provided you're heeding the rules above. Just don't drive more than 20 mph over the posted maximum in any state, as there are statutes on the book that allow the cop--or force him, in some cases--to issue you a ticket for "reckless driving," a charge far worse than mere speeding. Such a ticket usually requires a court appearance and can mean suspension of your license if you are convicted.

[Cold_Zero]

This looks like something familar on the Netscape homepage this weekend.

BTW-I was in your neck of the woods, Tino. Where in New England do you live?

[MaineExport]

What? Tino cutting and pasting without giving credit to the source?... shame on you.

Anyway... thanks for the insight man... I just forked over $163 to the state of Maine for a 52 in a 25 ticket. I have REALLY bad luck with cops... and I have lost track of how many traffic infractions I've been cited for. I have, however, contested three speeding tickets and an "Operating After Suspension" charge... and won them all!!!

[op.tic]

midget convention, lol

[Cold_Zero]

I drove from Indiana to Massachusetts and then back again on my vacation. Going out to Massachusetts, there were plenty of cops in Ohio and from Columbus to Cleveland (I-71) they had 6 plus cars pulled over. Pennsylvania, New York and the Mass Pike weren’t too bad. As soon as I exited the Mass Pike and started south on I-95, my radar detector went off and it was a laser speed trap. I nearly locked up the brakes trying to stop. Luckily I didn’t get nailed for speeding, even though later I was traveling +100mph on 3A to Plymouth.

Going home was worse, because it was the weekend after the 4th of July. There were cops everywhere in Mass, NY, PA and Ohio. I hit another laser speed trap on I-71 near Mid-Ohio and I was traveling way over the speed limit. Luckily there was traffic ahead of me so the cop didn’t aim the laser gun at me until I knew he was there. The one thing I like about living in Indiana is that there are rarely ever troopers on I-70 clocking people.

[Tino]

I did give credit to the source. And its not the ticket that kills ya, its the long term insurance effects.

oh, used to live in halifax, now the brockton area in a small town called whitman.

[MaineExport]

Brockton?... just outside of Boson? I knew a couple guys that grew up there... I wish I could remember their names...

[Cold_Zero]

The wedding I attended was in Taurton or Middleboro. We stayed at Whitehorse Beach just south of Plymouth. Whitman is one of the stops on the train into Boston. The guy marrying my wife's aunt was from Brockton. He didnt have much to say of Brockton.

[MasterMan]

but i knew all this.. but uh.. thanks?

btw i have never been pulled over.. i have gone 20MPH past a cop and still didnt go after me.. guess im a lucky SOB..

[Thee 240sx Owner]

:Werd

[InstantRice]

I've been pulled over for 26 over that was no fun, but somehow my friend can pull like 35 over right past a cop and the cop wont even waste the time to catch em.

[Tino]

The wedding I attended was in Taurton or Middleboro. We stayed at Whitehorse Beach just south of Plymouth. Whitman is one of the stops on the train into Boston. The guy marrying my wife's aunt was from Brockton. He didnt have much to say of Brockton.

yep im on the commuter rail often and brockton is horrible. I think the nicest part of brockton includes an actual private owned 2 bedroom house with the train behind it and a rusty chain link fence, thats considered the upper part of brockton.