New rant: don't pick up the phone if you're not ready to answer.

[MinisterofDOOM]

I've had this happen to me several times lately, and it's starting to almost seem like some kind of joke. I'll call somone, and they'll pick up the phone and...

...

...

...

...

After maybe 5 or 6 seconds I'll have to say "Hello?"

Because they haven't said s***.

What the F*** are you doing? TALK! You picked up the phone, jackass. Why answer it if you're not going to say anything? Usually, my "Hello?" is greeted with a very timid and confused-sounding "Hello?" echoing right back, as though the person on the other end has never seen one of these telemajingdongs before and can't figure out how another person's voice is magically annoying itself through at them. YOU picked up that phone, a**-for-brains. You consciously reached out and lifted the reciever up. WTF did you do it for, if not to continue moving the handset to your face so you can say "Hello?" That is the SOLE PURPOSE of picking up the phone when it rings. If you decide don't want to talk to me when you answer it, AT LEAST do me the courtesy of hanging up on me so I don't have to sit around wondering what in the blazing Hell you're doing on the other end.

I think I've called a half dozen people between tonight and thursday night who have taken several seconds and a prompt from me before confusedly venturing forth on the amazing journey of the telemaphone conversation.

People piss me the hell off. Stop being stupid. Please? Will you do it if I say please? I'm making my saddest-puppiest begging face, here. The stupid needs to stop. I can't handle any more. Stupid overload. Answer the damn phone or don't pick it up in the first place. Or I'll find you and beat you to death with it.

Thanks, and that's all.

[themadscientist]

Start breathing heavy and asking "what's your favorite scary movie?"



My favorites are the ones that call you then ask if they can put YOU on hold. Muthaf***er, you called me!

[MinisterofDOOM]

Yeah. I run into that a lot with a company I work with, actually.

Your image is broke.

[themadscientist]

I see it, but then again, I see a lot of things others claim aren't there. I'm convinced it's a plot to convince me I am crazy,,,and me too.

[MinisterofDOOM]

It's an inactive photobucket account.

As far as plots to convince you you're crazy...the ones I'm worried about are the plots to convince me I'm sane.

[Veriest1]

What I hate is when someone answers the phone and continues with the conversation they were having before you called. I don't know how many times I've had people hit "answer," then I hear someone else in the middle of saying something random, and then the person I'm calling answers them before finally saying, "oh hai" to me about 4 or 5 seconds later.

Did your feeble mind forget that you'd answered a phone between the time your finger hit the "answer" button and your hand getting the phone to your ear or do you just think I want to hear some snippet of your conversation? Trust me, it has never been that interesting.

[MinisterofDOOM]

Yes. That drives me nuts, too. Either talk to me, or talk to the people in the room. Don't do both, it's rude. And if you're conferring with them after I ask you a question, do me a favor and cover the mouthpiece so I know who the smeg you're talking to, because I can't see you through the telemaphone, even if I get really, really annoyed.

Also, your signature smiley is exactly how these people make me feel.

[Veriest1]

And if you're conferring with them after I ask you a question, do me a favor and cover the mouthpiece so I know who the smeg you're talking to, because I can't see you through the telemaphone, even if I get really, really annoyed.

What's really amusing is when they answer the phone while in mid-yell. For example, scolding a child or telling their spouse to get them a beer.

[krash]

well, sometimes I wait a second or two before I say anything just to make sure its not a stupid computer.

[MinisterofDOOM]

Does it cause you physical pain to greet a computer?

[Rex]

well, sometimes I wait a second or two before I say anything just to make sure its not a stupid computer.

No, but it validates the number as being a "good number" if they get the audible prompt to start the computer. It's the Ying to your Yang in this rant.

[MinisterofDOOM]

Wouldn't allowing the call to connect be enough to confirm the number as "good?"

[PoorManQ45]

What I hate is when someone answers the phone and continues with the conversation they were having before you called. I don't know how many times I've had people hit "answer," then I hear someone else in the middle of saying something random, and then the person I'm calling answers them before finally saying, "oh hai" to me about 4 or 5 seconds later.

Um, you interrupted me. I will say hello then ask you to hold on for a moment while I finish up what I was saying/doing.

[MinisterofDOOM]

No. If you CHOOSE to answer the phone, I am not interrupting you. It's not megaphone. You get to choose when you accept the call. Don't take the call if you're not ready to take it.

[PoorManQ45]

Wouldn't allowing the call to connect be enough to confirm the number as "good?"

Some systems work that way, some require a prompt.

[PoorManQ45]

No. If you CHOOSE to answer the phone, I am not interrupting you. It's not megaphone. You get to choose when you accept the call. Don't take the call if you're not ready to take it.

Then that sends you to the Voicemail. If it is really important you will leave a message. That process takes longer then for me to finish saying what I was saying.

[hannibal]

I do this sometimes if I answer while I'm driving. If its already taken me a few rings to get to my phone, I'll flip open my phone, then turn down the radio or roll up the window, then say Hello.

Certainly doesnt take more than a 2-3 seconds from opening the phone though. And its better than missing a call I wanted to answer, then going thru the whole call them back while they are leaving a msg, and I get their voicemail, and we spend the next five minutes either dialing or waiting to see if the other is calling back.

[nissangirl74]

This is why I much prefer communicating with people through e-mail, IM or text. You can answer the question when you get the time and if your response isn't immediate, the person on the other end expects it.

[krash]

Does it cause you physical pain to greet a computer?

Yes. It hurts my tendons.

I guess I've never really thought about it from the other persons perspective. But if I answer the phone and it isn't DEAD SILENT, then I usually go on to greet whoever is trying to sell me something. I've found that if its just dead silent that its a computer. Although, I guess I could just pay attention to caller I.D. and avoid the whole ordeal.

Sorry MOD

[numbnuts240]

if the caller id reveals a number that is obviously a soliciting call, i'll pick up and immediately hang up. if i get fooled, i'll say "hello?" and then promptly hang up when they ask for a "second of my time".