more Chuck Norris...

[hannibal]

I'm sure some of these have been posted before, but this is the first Ive seen them, and they cracked me up...

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris has the greatest p0ker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of p0ker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

And still my favorite...Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

[skylndrftr]

definitely all of them have either been posted or been linked (www.chucknorrisfacts.com)

by far my favorite:Chuck Norris has the greatest p0ker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of p0ker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

[crzycav86]

chuck norris is gay.

bill cosby greater than star

[elwesso]

definitely all of them have either been posted or been linked (www.chucknorrisfacts.com)

by far my favorite:Chuck Norris has the greatest p0ker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of p0ker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Thats a great one.....

[Mr1der]

I concur Wes.

but Fedor would own Chuck.

[gabossie]

Good lord, how many of these are there?! I haven't seen any of those before, and I've read A LOT of Chuck Norris "facts."

[crzycav86]

for love of gulati.. let chuck die.

[JESTER]

Well we would, but Chuck Norris cant die.

[MinisterofDOOM]

I love how pissed off people get about the Chuck Norris stuff.

People have macros set up in World of Warcraft where they can hit a single key and it'll spam random Chuck facts in general chat. People get hilarously steamed.

[elwesso]

dork o meter, INCREASING TO DANGEROUS (but usual) LEVELS.

[MinisterofDOOM]

Just doing my job.