MONDAY!!!!!

[zozoka1212]

How many of you guys in a management?

Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphan snake. By coincidence both were blind from birth.One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest and tripped over the snake and fell down."Oh my", said the bunny, I'm terrible sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth and can't see where I am going. In fact, since I am an orphan, I don't even know what I am." "That's ok, replied the snake. " Actually, I too have been blind since birth and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither al over you, and figure out what you are so you'll know. "That would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny and said, "Well, you are covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say you must be a bunny rabbit." " Oh thank you, thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake: " Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." So the bunny felt the snake all over and remarked, " Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be a team leader, Supervisor or possible someone in senior management

zozo

[kmckis1029]

damn thats a low blow lol... but i have a great supervisor presently

lucky i have only had one bad supervisor and i quit that job with in a month.

[zozoka1212]

I am a supervisor.

zozo

[BrandAidDesignG35]

Ok, now I'm going to post

You must've been googling "rubbing my snake" to find that joke

Zozo you da man!!!

[zozoka1212]

LOL

My old manager send me this couple of months ago. I just saved it.

zozo

[marlin29311]

zing!

lol, good one!

[toddnos]

, and you have forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be a team leader, Supervisor or possible someone in senior management

zozo

says the lessor paid employee to his boss, before being fired.

management>worker bee

yes, i have been in management for over 10 years..

[telcoman]

You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.4. You think a woman who is 'out of your league' bowls on a different night.5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.9. Your junior prom offered day care.10. You think the last words of the 'Star-Spangled Banner' are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.And Finally:An East Tennessee couple, both real-live rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband 'fixed'. The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish..

Telcoman

[marlin29311]

An East Tennessee couple, both real-live rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband 'fixed'. The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish..

[telcoman]

The Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!'

'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird.'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy . ' You really can understand and speak English can't you?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I c an converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'& nbsp;

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!'

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with on e wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man.'

'What are yo u talking about?' asks the guy.

'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?'

'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'

'Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!'

[Tampa G35 Sedan 6MT]

Telco.. You still got it!

Zozo I guess your jokes are hear to stay for mondays!

DJ

[telcoman]

Telco.. You still got it!

Zozo I guess your jokes are hear to stay for mondays!

DJ

e Harmony



Sorry. Your application to join our match-making service has been rejected.

You failed question #14: 'What do you like most in a woman?'

'My d!ck' was not the correct answer.

[Ar878]

LOL!short, sweet and awesome.

[zozoka1212]

LOL Telco bro those were awesome.LOL



Now I am just starting one on Mondays to see what Telco has on files.

zozo

[infinitgkid]

e Harmony



Sorry. Your application to join our match-making service has been rejected.

You failed question #14: 'What do you like most in a woman?'

'My d!ck' was not the correct answer.

Win... in its purest form...

[SVTCOBRA]

Nice! Look forward to my Monday jokes!

[zozoka1212]

One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.

"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"

"Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.

"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your

"Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"