Monday, Monday

[zozoka1212]

Toilette

Little Johnny was in class again.Teacher asked everyone "Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?"

Meg puts up her hand, "The sky is definitely blue."

"Thats not bad, Meg," says the teacher, "but the sky can be grey or red."

Young Sally tried: "The grass is definitely green."

"Good try Sally, but grass can be yellow or brown too!" Suddenly Little Johnny's hand shoots up.

"Miss Brown does a fart have lumps?"

The teacher was horrified. "No of course not Johnny! What are you talking about?"

So Johnny says,"Well then Miss brown, I've definitely **** my pants!"

My favorite commercial from Europe:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eX1ohfFa-RQ

zozo

[marlin29311]

omg that commercial is crazy...lol

[G_whizz]

I love little Johnny jokes!!

But that commercial is FTW!!

Thanks Zozo!!

[TeflonG35]

Lol....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8CzQdUS1mo&NR=1

[zozoka1212]

Oh yeah good one.

Here is another dog one well dog was.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3DKpqT9lDo

This is from a long series of choclate commercials. These 2 guys the black dude and the white guy have some history.

zozo

[zozoka1212]

Here are all the 3 commercials before the doggy one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...dex=4

zozo

[SVTCOBRA]

Good Monday Morning Zozo!!!

[DevonD]

I think everyones car needs a security system like this one. just to keep birds and animals off. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...lated

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...lated

[telcoman]

Male Trip to Wal-Mart:

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle o f Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, "I Got Worms."

In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog **** off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog **** on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

Telcoman

[zozoka1212]

LOL

zozo

[BrandAidDesignG35]

That was kinda depressing Telcoman

"You know what's funny? I think that these UFO's that keep showing up on US soil are just the Jap's playing games with the US, their UFOs would be far superior to the technologies of North America.



Youtube get's firewalled here at work... Have to check back later tonight!!!

[telcoman]

That was kinda depressing Telcoman

I'll try to do better?

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister..

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car!

Telcoman

[zozoka1212]

hahahah

LOL

[BrandAidDesignG35]

Oh you did better big guy!!! THAT's SWEET!!!!!