Lost my fvcking religion tonight. (LONG)

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HeavyDuty
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OK AZ, yes, I've now had a few Captains, which is what urged me to share this with you guys. I hadn't had a drop in a week when the following happened.

Should I post this in NICO General?

I suppose, but I only really go here. (the Quorum)

Should I keep this to myself?

Probably.

If given the light of day would I have reacted differently?

Nope. :D

So here goes:

I live in a nice little lakefront neighborhood, not upscale, not PWT-ville.

My 71 y/o Mom is visiting me & my kids for the weekend. Along with her is her new I35. While walking her 13 y/o blind Chow on public property, he takes a wizz *ONLY* on a roadside bush. Suddenly, my neighbor appears & rips her arse for everything from that wizz to my divorce, a small box of 6 - 1 gallon paint cans the garbage men won't take that's been sitting outside my garage door, to the current condition of the yard (sorry, I've been busy with primary residential custody of 2 - 3 y/olds & 1 - 7 y/old as a single father.)

This is a guy I know on first name basis & our kids have spent the night at each other's houses, etc, since I moved here in 1997.

So, when my Mom came in & told me the tale, I shrugged it off...that's my nature. If someone is compelled to make a comment on a subject on which they know, or should know they are grossly inadequately informed on, then nothing I can say or do will convince them otherwise.

To quote Siddhartha, the Enlightened One: "It does not further." Meaning nothing you can do or say will achieve a positive outcome, nor one different than the current one.

About 45 min later, I glance out the front window to find the box of paint cans firmly placed on the hood of my Mom's 02 I35.

:ak47 :bash :bsflag :angry7: :nono :slap :oblivion:

"You gotta be fvcking kidding me!!!!!!!!!!"

I walk outside, remove the box of cans to find a nice dent right in the middle of the hood.

So what do I do, me, the mild-mannered, ever a good neighbor, do anything for anyone that I thought deserved it, too nice, amiable, accomodating, etc, etc, etc????????

Of course, I pick up four of the half-filled paint cans from the box, and proceed to walk next door and heave them at his house, finally the last one burst open and changed the front entrance from a nice shrimp colored hue to one of a goofy sky blue my wife picked out of a batch of unsold paint years ago.

I was aiming for the bay window out front, it's probably a good thing my aim sucked at paint-can-hurling.

All the while I was screaming incessantly about the fact that his parents weren't married when he was born, he was not the father of his children, that his household was asexual, at best, and that his wife's strap on was the only phallus in the domicile that has gotten any action, except for the last few times his fingers slipped through the toilet paper as he was swilling his morning cup of Maxwell House.

He finally emerged, his 6'2 frame sheepishly lanking about the shrubs, pulling out the unexploded paint cans and tossing them into my yard, muttering "What have you done?"

I continued my verbal assault all the while thanking God I had removed the firearms from my home months ago before filing my response to my wife's motion for dissolution of marriage.

Finally, he advanced (almost) to the sidewalk where I had begun the seige. After a few choice words he invited me *onto* his property to continue the discussion.

That's when I came to my senses.

Instead, I drew my own line in the sand, many years of Judo as a child, followed by a short stint in the art of Kenpo as an adolescent taught me to realize when to say when.

So, I stepped but two feet away from him onto city property, removed by Docksiders, and extended an invitation to him to join me there.

As I expected, he turned coat and went to his wife, on the porch, already on the phone with the police.

I asked if he needed the number of the Deputy on call, seeing as though I just finished painting & installing a ram air hood on the Orange County Deputy's '04 GTO. :D

As fate would have it, Dave was not on duty & another officer showed up. I explained my position, and as he left my property, and as I was removing the paint can box from the driveway, I could overhear him saying:

"AND DO YOU SIR THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE TO DAMAGE PERSONAL PROPERTY OF SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIVE THERE??????"

Basturd.

Sorry for the diatribe, I'm just still reeling from the whole experience & dumbfounded at the situation.

I had no one else to share this with but you guys.

I don't care what the situation is..........you don't mess with another man's car. Period.

I was not going to let this be one of those situations where 25 years from now, you think about how you KNEW you should have taken action, but for some cowardly reason......didn't.

Hey Steve!!!!!!!!!!!

:moon


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AZhitman
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ATTA BOY JASON!!!!!

What a wanker!!! Did you file a report for the dent in Mom's car?

Send me his phone number, I'll call him up and be "Mom's insurance company"... :)

maxnix
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Wow, Jason, you may need to move to stay out of the stir. Sounds like a real fine neighbor.

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Mr1der
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heh, I woulda given him a facial with a closed hand.

nuQ
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jason,,,,,,,,,,not to make light of this, but you put a smile on my face, just from the stupidity of that neighbor of yours!!!

just got done watching pulp fiction,,good line in the movie,,,,,"never ***** with another man's car"!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!

you should pat yourself on the back that you didn't cross the line with him. very smart and mature move!!! keep us updated!jeff

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Jesda
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I would have lost my mind. You showed a lot more restraint than I would have.

squeefoo
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Air cut through by steel. The blade stops: from silent stone, Death is preordained.

Fudo 1654

If the enemy has become stone, he has lost his ability to defend, plan, or resist, from fear and confusion.

If you have turned to stone, you are stone and can't be understood, no motive, - creating confusion and disorder.

You must assume he will be defeated for this to work, all emotion must be cast aside. (an empty vessel)

In a sense a mexican standoff, with the one who doesn't blink the victory. He blinked. This koan has served me well since I first read it in 1996, by either keeping me out of jail, the hospital (unlikely), or death. From a book "The Sword" by Fudo -disciple of Miyamoto Musashi. I see this as an extension of: "It does not further"

Hope this helps to gain your balance and understanding. Squeefoo

maxnix
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We need some Q45 koans! Or at least some Haikus.

Lightning fast, silent steel cloud.Only the knowing see it pass.

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1qckser
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Great job heavy:D glade it worked out for ya, and glade the officer seen it for what it was, your nieghbor is an A@#.

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Falkdesigns
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Sux you had to go through that, but sounds like you taught that focker a valuable lesson.

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Q451990
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Glad that you didn't kill him... it was all I could do to keep from beating the crap out of an old lady and her even older mother in a Home Depot parking lot once. I was sitting in the Q eating my lunch when I heard this loud thud on the left rear door only to see this hag trying to load something in to her car. With a great deal of restraint I got out and asked if she could not damage my car while loading hers. She proceeded to tell me that if I was any kind of gentleman, I would help her. After sitting in the car for a few seconds to compose myself I got out and treatened to get her insurance information, etc, etc... I finally let it drop and gave her mother a loud round of applause for getting in to the car without dinging my door and telling her that she should have taught her daughter how to do that back in the day...

Don't let it drop Heavy... hopefully the hood can be repaired without paint!

Heath

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elwesso
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Wow, that was a great story... I would have been very pissed as well, i dont think i could see myself throwing stuff at someones house.....

I read it a few days ago but was hesitant to read it..

Heath, thats a great story at home depot, some people are very selfish.. I guess Im glad i live in area where on some roads your lucky to see 3 cars in a 25 mile stretch... Yes they do exist!

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Mr1der
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think he needs a burning bag on the porch come halloween.

HeavyDuty
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Thanks for the responses guys, I've been replaying it in my head since Sunday & still can't believe either of our actions.

It's just not in my nature for any of this kind of stuff, two wrongs don't make a right.

Over the last couple days I remembered two other neighbors that have had a run in with him. It was so trivial I had forgotten about it.

I'm better now, I'm sure his wife had no knowledge of his actions before I attacked his house. Now she knows, and the Police are aware of "who started it" in the event of any further nonsense.

Thanks for letting me vent.

squeefoo
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It sux to have that tension next door. Hopefully he got a criminal damage to property ticket, (take a little wind out of his passive-aggressive sail), around here anytime the cops are called somebody gets a ticket! Sort of a service charge for the "public servants" with the expansive bene packages.It may help to obtain the incident report for the claim on moms cardamage. Good luck w/ everything.

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SFBayQ45
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Quite a story...it was probably best that you took the mature approach. Knowing that you knew the local deputy, you knew better than to swing first...good call.

But what are the ramifications? That's unclear at this point because it's not like he doesn't know your address to settle the score underhandedly. Keep an eye out for your kids since he might target the weaker party if he feels inept to approach you directly. Neighbor disputes are the worst.

Let's hope he's not like Hitman with 16,000-possee connections to back him up with every move. LOL.

CrashGordon
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Wow, you guys should have been there. I have never seen "j" turn such a red Hue. I feel that he handled the situation quite appropriately judging by the Moronic actions by His neighbor. All i know is that my car was about 2 feet from the I35 and if there had been a dent in my car all hell would have broken loose, I probobly would have knocked on the front door and thrown the paint cans in his house. all the time while deficating on his prized lawn.

It still brings a huge grin to my face to picture jason walking down the sidewalk (as red as a baboons arse) screaming humerous profanities and heaving paint cans. I know that two wrongs dont make a right, but i will be damned if this wasnt the best thing for him to do.

still laughing!!!

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elwesso
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Man wheres a video camera when you need it.....


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