Joke Thread! Post a funny u found today!

Post by **180crafter** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

Heres one I found, Thought I might share....

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm..... they are making cakes." The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother "What are they are doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes." The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy,you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night,eh?" Shocked, the Mother says, "How do you know?"

(Wait for it............)

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa.":D

Post by **180crafter** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

heres another......

What's the best thing about screwing 28 year old chics? ....

there is twenty of them . . .

Post by **red_240_fastback** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

that one is suppose to be why does michael jackson only like 28 year olds?

because there are 20 of them

Post by **180crafter** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

How about:

What's the difference between a 16yr old girl and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for 2 weeks.

Post by **180crafter** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

BTW, this in no way is a means for me to bump up my post count and my ego.... just following in the great 1ders footsteps.....

Post by **I30T** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned?

yeah, they found her face down in ricki lake.

Post by **180crafter** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?"

"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?"

Post by **Axel Grungy** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

180crafter wrote:How about:

What's the difference between a 16yr old girl and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for 2 weeks.

LMFAO tahts great

One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.

He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.

Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"

Post by **Mr1der** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

I'm not sure who the joke is on, I do afterall have his picture on my harddrive now...

Post by **I Need $$$** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

A man was walking through a park one day when a lady on a park bench by the lake stopped him. When he truned and looked at her he saw that she had no arms nor legs. As she noticed the puzzled look on his face she as said to him "As you have probably arleady I have no arms and legs and because of this I have never been kissed." The man being the nice guy he was bent over and kissed her then started to walk away. Again he was stopped by her where she proceded to say "Well like I said before I have no legs or arms and because of this I have never been f@$ked." He looked at her for a minute picked her up and threw her into the lake. As he was walking away he said "your really f@$ked now!"

Post by **Zydeco** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

A man Walks in to a bar,..............

...And says OUCH!!!!

sorry I just had to.

Post by **NIGHTfall_240sx** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

What Did The Lesbians Cook For Dinner?

..................nothing..

..............

they ate out

:ylsuper

Post by **andrave** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

why couldn't helen keller drive?

cause she was a woman.

why shouldn't you buy a woman a watch for a gift?

cause the is a clock on the stove.

what should a woman do when she gets home from the battered women's shelter?

the dishes if she knows what is good for her.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

nothing, you already told her twice.

and my favorite,why shouldn't women have driver's licenses?

cause there is no road from the kitchen to the bedroom.

Post by **corn322** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

did you know helen keller had a treehouse?

neither did she.

Post by **Healing** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

Heh, the Hellen Keller jokes.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog commit suicide? You would too if your name was Urraghhhururghhurahrrrrrrr (guess its funnier if you actually say it than typing it out on a forum)

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They left the plunger in the toilet

How do you fix your dishwasher? Slap it and tell it to get back into the kitchen

Whats better than winning the special olympics?Not being retarded

Post by **navysnail** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

wana hear a joke? womens rights

ok, that may not be appropriate but whatever

and why should women wear white? because the dishwasher should match the stove

Post by **getnrowdy23** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

haha, funny stuff

whats the worst thing about eating a vegistable?...having to put her back in her wheelchair.

im sorry im going to a bad place when i die....

one more bad joke...whats the worst thing about having sex with an 8 yr old boy?...getting blood on your clown suit. .....

Post by **getnrowdy23** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

8 or 80 triple blind or crazy... i f**k anything that walks the only thing i turn down are little boys and i turn them face down.

i hate to see what happens to me when i die..... those are probably not apropriate but..... you can take them off if ya want.

Post by **BB Turbo** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

Old enough to bleed old enough to breed

Post by **I30T** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

Dale Earnhardt jokes. I'm sorry, I live near the DEI shop and i am sick of people talking about him. all due respect, but for the most part he got more than he deserved.

on with the jokes:

whats the difference between dale earnhardt and batman? the wall moves for batman

all the people around here have license plate frames that say 3 - God needed a driver. a friend said "Why does he need one that runs into walls?"

Post by **vicki** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:34 am

Train Ride

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of *****es who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of *****es who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ***** in the kitchen."

Joke Thread! Post a funny u found today!

Joke Thread! Post a funny u found today!

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