IT/Computer guys will find this funny, I did.

[Luke]

If you're a man, and work in IT, you will appreciate this.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticedthat the new program began unexpected child processing that took up alot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installeditself into all other programs and now monitors all other systemactivity. Applications such as p0ker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Huntingand Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to runmy favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,A Troubled User.

(KEEP READING)______________________________________

REPLY:Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that itis just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATINGSYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is alsoimpossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It isimpossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the systemonce installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed tonot allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual underWarnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 andwork on improving the situation. I suggest installing the backgroundapplication "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE becauseultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the systemwill return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use willcause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens,the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchaseadditional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary WithShort Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and willcause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck, Tech Support

[slow s13]

LOL you dont need to be an IT guy to laugh at that

[Mr1der]

oh...YOU'RE WELCOME!

/Nick Burns, your company's computer guy.

[Drift Machine]

Delightfully witty.

[themadscientist]

I have found a useful hack for wife 1.0 called tunecar 1.8.From the error message "Ilostrace" open the command promt and type "boostup.exe" Wife 1.0 may not run stable, as with all overclocking measures the warrantee will be voided and you risk data loss. I recccomend you back up data with photos of wife 1.0 and renewing service contract on the unit in case it should "crash"

[Jesda]

Hopefully control-alt-del brings up Makeupsex.exe and allows recovery from crashes.

[MinisterofDOOM]

That's great.

Perhaps, with some skill, it would be possible to run a dual OS system with both Wife 1.0 and Girlfriend 7.0.