If I Were The Devil

[audtatious]

The following is an essay by radio commentator and columnist Paul Harvey published in 1964. Some seems to ring true?

If I Were the Devil

If I were the Prince of Darkness I would want to engulf the whole earth in darkness.

I'd have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree.

So I should set about however necessary, to take over the United States.

I would begin with a campaign of whispers.

With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whispers to you as I whispered to Eve, "Do as you please."

To the young I would whisper "The Bible is a myth." I would convince them that "man created God," instead of the other way around. I would confide that "what is bad is good and what is good is square."

In the ears of the young married I would whisper that work is debasing, that cocktail parties are good for you. I would caution them not to be "extreme" in religion, in patriotism, in moral conduct.

And the old I would teach to pray - to say after me - "Our father which are in Washington."

Then I'd get organized.

I'd educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull, uninteresting.

I'd threaten TV with dirtier movies, and vice-versa.

I'd infiltrate unions and urge more loafing, less work. Idle hands usually work for me.

I'd peddle narcotics to whom I could, I'd sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction, I'd tranquilize the rest with pills.

If I were the Devil, I would encourage schools to refine young intellects, but neglect to discipline emotions; let those run wild.

I'd designate an atheist to front for me before the highest courts and I'd get preachers to say, "She's right."

With flattery and promises of power I would get the courts to vote against God and in favor of pornography.

Thus I would evict God from the courthouse, then from the schoolhouse, then from the Houses of Congress.

Then in his own churches I'd substitute psychology for religion and deify science.

If I were Satan I'd make the symbol of Easter an egg

And the symbol of Christmas a bottle.

If I were the Devil I'd take from those who have and give to those who wanted until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. Then my police state would force everybody back to work.

Then I would separate families, putting children in uniform, women in coal mines and objectors in slave-labor camps.

If I were Satan I'd just keep doing what I'm doing and the whole world go to hell as sure as the Devil.

[bigbadberry3]

Wut?

[PapaSmurf2k3]

Religion post? Ruh roh raggie.


Are you sure that wasn't written/broadcast by Rick Santorum?

[Dattebayo]

Excuse me, I am going to go have an existential breakdown now.

[alms24sebring]

Im deciding whether to read it..

[PapaSmurf2k3]

Cliffs notes:
Some dude complaining about America going to s*** and blaming it on p0rn, unions, and keeping church and state separate circa 1964.

Surprisingly accurate as to what people are debating today.

[audtatious]

That's why I posted it, not due to religious debate.

You guys don't remember Paul Harvey on the radio? "That's the rest of the story"....

[bigbadberry3]

You guys don't remember Paul Harvey on the radio? "That's the rest of the story"....

Two face?

[audtatious]

who what?

[Kompresshun]

You guys don't remember Paul Harvey on the radio? "That's the rest of the story"....

Two face?

You mean Harvey Dent?

[bigbadberry3]

You mean Harvey Dent?

Tomato tomato.

[Bubba1]

That's why I posted it, not due to religious debate.

You guys don't remember Paul Harvey on the radio? "That's the rest of the story"....

You're showing your age. Harvey's heyday was before a lot of Niconauts were born.

[Razi]

Excuse me, I am going to go have an existential breakdown now.

[audtatious]

That's why I posted it, not due to religious debate.

You guys don't remember Paul Harvey on the radio? "That's the rest of the story"....

You're showing your age. Harvey's heyday was before a lot of Niconauts were born.

His last newscast was 2009, not that long ago.

[Bubba1]

His last newscast was 2009, not that long ago.

Right, but "last newscast" is not the same thing as "heyday".

[PapaSmurf2k3]

Not to mention everyone in my generation stopped listening to the radio as soon as we could devise a way to play Ipods through car stereos, so 2004?

[audtatious]

<sigh>

The lame generations....full of metrosexuals and masculine women

[Beancooker]

That's why I posted it, not due to religious debate.

You guys don't remember Paul Harvey on the radio? "That's the rest of the story"....

Matt, when these kids were born,
All TV's had a remote, they have never "tuned the dial".
CD's were already made. They have seen and heard of cassettes and vinyl records, but have never used one.
All telephones were tone dialed. There was no rotary or pulse dialed phones.
They have never has a soda from a can with a pull tab.
They don't remember Gatorade in glass bottles.
They have never pumped "regular" (leaded) gasoline. Regular to them is "unleaded 87 octane".
They have always had the internet.
They have iPods and satellite radio... They have never heard of Paul Harvey.

[numbnuts240]

Matt, when these kids were born,
All TV's had a remote, they have never "tuned the dial".
CD's were already made. They have seen and heard of cassettes and vinyl records, but have never used one.
All telephones were tone dialed. There was no rotary or pulse dialed phones.
They have never has a soda from a can with a pull tab.
They don't remember Gatorade in glass bottles.
They have never pumped "regular" (leaded) gasoline. Regular to them is "unleaded 87 octane".
They have always had the internet.
They have iPods and satellite radio... They have never heard of Paul Harvey.

our sole tv had dials.
house parties had to be in the basement so the dancing wouldn't cause the records to skip. then there was always the lull when side 1/2 was over. i also have a record player in my living room that gets almost daily use.
never dealt with rotary or pulse phones.
pull tab cans? wtf you talking bout gramps?
gatorade in glass bottles? see previous comment.
never had to deal with leaded gasoline, but i'm very aware.
i have neither an ipod or satellite radio.
and lastly, i wasn't born, i just was one day.

[Beancooker]

Okay Tita, you're from a third world country, and while you may have immigrated here, you're still "there" as far as technology. This does surprise me that you have never used a rotary or pulse dialed phone.

Here are a couple examples of pull tabs. This was a big upgrade, because there was no longer a need to carry a can opener to drink a beer or soda.

[nissangirl74]

That's why I posted it, not due to religious debate.

You guys don't remember Paul Harvey on the radio? "That's the rest of the story"....

Matt, when these kids were born,
All TV's had a remote, they have never "tuned the dial".
CD's were already made. They have seen and heard of cassettes and vinyl records, but have never used one.
All telephones were tone dialed. There was no rotary or pulse dialed phones.
They have never has a soda from a can with a pull tab.
They don't remember Gatorade in glass bottles.
They have never pumped "regular" (leaded) gasoline. Regular to them is "unleaded 87 octane".
They have always had the internet.
They have iPods and satellite radio... They have never heard of Paul Harvey.

Damn you Noah.....I know all that s***, including Paul Harvey. I used to listen to him everyday on the way to work.

[audtatious]

Did you read the OP in his voice? I did

lol

[Dattebayo]

Tomato tomato.

Pizza pizza?

[PapaSmurf2k3]

That's why I posted it, not due to religious debate.

You guys don't remember Paul Harvey on the radio? "That's the rest of the story"....

Matt, when these kids were born,
All TV's had a remote, they have never "tuned the dial".
CD's were already made. They have seen and heard of cassettes and vinyl records, but have never used one.
All telephones were tone dialed. There was no rotary or pulse dialed phones.
They have never has a soda from a can with a pull tab.
They don't remember Gatorade in glass bottles.
They have never pumped "regular" (leaded) gasoline. Regular to them is "unleaded 87 octane".
They have always had the internet.
They have iPods and satellite radio... They have never heard of Paul Harvey.

I'll go along!
I don't think we had a tv with a remote for the first 9 years of my life
CDs were already made, but were uncommon until about '97 for me
I have definitely used rotary phones. SPARKS fly out as you use them. Its hilarious.
I think I found 1 old a** soda with a pull tab and tried it out. These were actually really not common in RI because all the damn tabs would end up hiding in sand at the beach, and people would cut their feet on them.
Never had a gatorade out of a glass bottle, but yoohoo on the other hand.. MMMMM MMMMMmm
Never pumped lead.
I don't think I got internet until maybe 99-2000?
No satellite radio. Never heard of Paul Harvey.

[4cefed]

I hear you audtatious.

Throughout my day I am constantly reminded of how far we have fallen, what is wrong with us, and how broken we are. I am generally concerned about the direction we are going and where this road will end. I think there are very few people of working age that understand what "hard work" and "sacrifice" really mean. If "The Great Generation" were our age again, they would spend all day kicking our collective asses, and they should. Is this the world that they all came together for?

One thing I don't hear are solutions and answers.

What do we do about it? What do I do about it? I am by no means a natural leader, I lack creativity and inspiration. I am a good follower and team player though. At this point in my life my body isn't even in any sort of physical shape to do little more than negotiate my day, and it's embarrassing. I wonder what kind of world I'm going to leave to my daughter, what kind of inspiration I'll be?

I want to make this place better. I want freedom for all. I want to instil a sense of value and worth to the next generation. I want to stop Big Brother. I want to end the reign of the banks, mega-conglomerates, and corrupt government. I want to be able to look forward to the future instead of questioning it. So what can we do now?

What can I do?

[Gold Digger]

When I was in elementary school, I knew who he was, but never listened to him. I had a friend who's older brother used to and as I got older, I started to listen to him.

The way he spoke, his delivery, his dead-pan seriousness in what he talked about. Loved it. I never was a regular listener, but if he was ever on the radio while I had it on, it stayed there.

The way he would end the show, "Paul Harvey. Good day."

Matt, when these kids were born,
All TV's had a remote, they have never "tuned the dial".
CD's were already made. They have seen and heard of cassettes and vinyl records, but have never used one.
All telephones were tone dialed. There was no rotary or pulse dialed phones.
They have never has a soda from a can with a pull tab.
They don't remember Gatorade in glass bottles.
They have never pumped "regular" (leaded) gasoline. Regular to them is "unleaded 87 octane".
They have always had the internet.
They have iPods and satellite radio... They have never heard of Paul Harvey.

My first TV had a dial, and only had 3 channels. 4 (CBS), 6 (NBC) 8 (ABC).
In my house, it was a record player and cassette deck. Parents did have some old 8 tracks laying around with a working portable player. My dad still has a pretty respectable vinyl collection as well as a large collection of cassettes.
We had a rotary phone in my house till the late 80's.
Those pull tabs will cut the hell out of you if you aren't careful.
I remember Gatorade in glass bottles.
I never pumped leaded gas, but it was still around in some places in my area in the very early 80's. The full service stations would always ask, "Regular or unleaded?"
My family didn't get regular internet access in my house till like, 2001. Shortly after I got out of the Navy.
I had an iPod, but now I have a smartphone and all my music is always with me.

And I already mentioned I know Paul Harvey.

[TTkickedin]

Meanwhile in 1963:

CIA STARTS MKULTRA

That's America for you.

[audtatious]

I hear you audtatious.

Throughout my day I am constantly reminded of how far we have fallen, what is wrong with us, and how broken we are. I am generally concerned about the direction we are going and where this road will end. I think there are very few people of working age that understand what "hard work" and "sacrifice" really mean. If "The Great Generation" were our age again, they would spend all day kicking our collective asses, and they should. Is this the world that they all came together for?

One thing I don't hear are solutions and answers.

What do we do about it? What do I do about it? I am by no means a natural leader, I lack creativity and inspiration. I am a good follower and team player though. At this point in my life my body isn't even in any sort of physical shape to do little more than negotiate my day, and it's embarrassing. I wonder what kind of world I'm going to leave to my daughter, what kind of inspiration I'll be?

I want to make this place better. I want freedom for all. I want to instil a sense of value and worth to the next generation. I want to stop Big Brother. I want to end the reign of the banks, mega-conglomerates, and corrupt government. I want to be able to look forward to the future instead of questioning it. So what can we do now?

What can I do?

You go about your life and try to instill your values in your kids. Kinda tough today as social media, tv, and schools have such a huge influence.

[4cefed]

Well, just "going about my life" is kind of the problem. If I just keep my head down and do what I'm supposed to do, the world changes without me. And lately, it's not changing for the better.

The problem is that "they" don't want you paying attention to what they are doing. So how do we start changing things for the better? How do we restore our lost freedoms?

Freedom of Speech, Press, Religion and Petition - It is now a felony to protest in any area deemed "Restricted"

Right to keep and bear arms - That went out the window a long time ago. Not sure what part of "shall not be infringed" they didn't read.

Right of search and seizure regulated - Patriot act killed that one.

Right to a speedy trial, witnesses, etc.
Right to a trial by jury.................................} These are all nullified by the National Defense Authorization Act.
Excessive bail, cruel punishment

[Jesda]

I haven't listened to Paul Harvey since the early 90s. My friend's dad would drive us to early morning choir practice and he'd turn the radio on in his mid 80s Maxima. That was a pretty cool car, and Harvey had a pretty cool style of delivery.