I've noticed a few people bashing the french lately....

[Movingviolation240]

So I thought I'd add a bit more coal to the fire.....

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ---Mark Twain

"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!" ---- Hannibal Lecter

While speaking to the Hoover Institution today, Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was asked this question:"Could you tell us why to date at least the Administration doesn't favor direct talks with the North Korean government? After all, we're talking with the French." The Secretary smiled and replied: "I'm not going there!"

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."

--Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." ---- Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" ---Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." ---Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."

--- Regis Philbin

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slappedthere. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."

--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)

Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French.... Raise both hands if you are French.

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."

---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."

--Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won'thelp us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" ---Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."

--David Letterman

REPLACEMENTS FOR THE FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM: "Runaway" by Del Shannon, "Walk Right In" by the Rooftop Singers, "Everybody's Somebody's Fool" by Connie Francis, "Running Scared" by Roy Orbison, "I Really Don't Want to Know" by Tommy Edwards, "Surrender" by Elvis Presley, "Save It For Me" by The Four Seasons, "Live and Let Die" by Wings, "I'm Leaving It All Up To You" by Donny and Marie Osmond, "What a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin "Raise Your Hands" by Jon Bon Jovi

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolve around him.

PaulOrlando, FL

[MaineExport]

Haha... good stuff movingvilation... this stuff must circulate through you pilot-types quickly. My brother emailed me the same stuff last week... apparently it had made its way though all the pilots at Vance AFB.

[Movingviolation240]

hehe, yea we're our own weird subculture......

[lessthanjakejohn]

lol, but I heard it at school 3 weeks ago and its still so funny.

[big jon's 240]

You already said most of the good ones, but here are a few more:

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Mac's than the Nazis?

Q. Why are the French so afraid of war? A. You would be too if you never won one in your history (unless you count the french revolution, in which case they fought themselves!).

Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q. Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 so wildly? A. It was their first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.

A man asks his friend, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders, and replies, "I give up!"

Q: What would the French call a nuclear explosion in Paris? A: Proof that more inspectors are needed.

[BB Turbo]

OMG, that is hilarious! Good stuff, good stuff.

[VimyJ]

MovingViolation, you're a pilot in Orlando? My brother is a pillot in Orlando, too. He works for Delta. You?

[VimyJ]

Back to the French, there is a loose gene or something running around in their culture. They have done some great things and maybe that accounts for their arrogance. Effiel Tower was revolutionary, Napoleon was brilliant, their food generally beats the crap out of the stuff in N. America, Suez Canal, they had the vision but not the technology for the Panama Canal. That said, they do some wacky stuff. Remember the nuclear test they did right after the Soviet Union went bankrupt? Their agents sank a Green Peace vessel in New Zealand. They pulled out of NATO in the 60's.

They act like they want it all their own way. Kind of like the US come to think of it.

Oh, and let's not forget the left over French wacky genes in Quebec that cause no end of stipidity in Canada.

I've said it before. I hope the UN find WMD in Iraq just so the French have no choice but to vote yes to war or abstain so that the US can at least have some legitimacy for this invasion. They definitely have delusions of grandeur but they do have the bomb and the technology to put it anywhere they want.

The way things stand there would probably be more support for an invasion of France than Iraq in the US right now.

But, did you hear about the knuckle head beotch in congress who wants to exhume the bodies of all the dead GI's buried in France and return them to the US? Is it a good thing when people who think France is stupid try to get even by being stupider?

PS Send all your French wine to VimyJ for proper disposal.

[longrunQ]

Yes, but the French own Nissan, and Infiniti, and you're driving one, so go sell it if you feel so bad about them.

[VimyJ]

Yes, but the French own Nissan, and Infiniti, and you're driving one, so go sell it if you feel so bad about them.

Au contraire, oops. Sorry about that. To the contrary, I own a Japanese car that was Japanese owned when it was created. It also could be one of the reasons that Nissan now has major French participatation but that's another story. :pface

And to think, that the Japs were once a reviled enemy of the US not so long ago. Man oh man, this is an interesting world.

[ninjak84]

Haha, I'm pretty sure the next war is going to be USA vs. The World now!And of course, Canada will send our 50 troops to help you guys out :P

[AZhitman]

I've said it before. I hope the UN find WMD in Iraq just so the French have no choice but to vote yes to war or abstain so that the US can at least have some legitimacy for this invasion. They definitely have delusions of grandeur but they do have the bomb and the technology to put it anywhere they want.

The way things stand there would probably be more support for an invasion of France than Iraq in the US right now.

PS Send all your French wine to VimyJ for proper disposal.

Great stuff Mike - Thx for the laugh.

[VimyJ]

Haha, I'm pretty sure the next war is going to be USA vs. The World now!And of course, Canada will send our 50 troops to help you guys out :P

You probably don't realize that you are almost exactly right with your supposition.

Canada has about 50 middle level officers seving in active units in the US armed forces flying planes, commanding units, navy, just about everywhere. Although officially awaiting UN sanction for war, the Canadian government has given permission for these personnel (sorry, french word) to continue their assignments with their units. Opposition parties are dutifully and loyally disputing this decision. (Ya gotta love democracy.)

Canada also has about 40 serving with the UK. Officers from all three countries exchange between each other as far as I know. Probably other NATO countries as well. Which reminds me, I'm damn happy that NATO hasn't been mentioned for quite awhile. France doesn't "really" belong to NATO anyway. They have some sort of special "just for the French" deal thanks to that idiot DeGaulle.

[skydragoness]

Quote »"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."--Conan O' Brian[/quote]

this quote and the Marge Simpson quote had me laughing. I love Conan O' Brian!!! he always has me up later than i should be, and laughing my *** off. my kind of humour :ylsuper

[themadscientist]

Screw the French. They generally suck and are irrelevent anymore. They think their culture is so superior to everyones, they are welcome to it. I'm sure we could reactivate the Maginot line, extend it to the English channel, pull troops out of Germany to man it and keep the French bottled up in their own little twilight zone for everyones benefit including theirs. I'm sure the Spanish can lock them up on the south.

[TrueSlide]

I think the only good thing the french invented was the blowjob. They need to invent some leg razors for their women.

I was watching Future Fighting Machines and they had some french battleship on their, I noticed whenever the french have anything on that show, it sucks, all screwed up and gets a low rating. They spent 2.8 billion on a ship powered by a submarine nuclear thing, it moves slow as piss and always overheats, what a nice way to spend 2.8 billion dollars.

The French Suck

[Eswift]

Watch some more episodes and learn about how their semi and fully automatic troop weapons are far superior to the competition.

melt down the statue of liberty while you're at it, america, so you can make more casings for your depleted uranium shells that are littered over every country you have invaded since the 70's.

your stereotypes for the french are sickening.

i cant say that i get along well with them either, but you sound like a foul-minded politician.

[TrueSlide]

I seen a few episodes, their army was ranked last when they compared alot of armys. Baah, who cares about my stereotypes.

Foul-minded politician? Iam not a politician.

[themadscientist]

melt down the statue of liberty while you're at it, america, so you can make more casings for your depleted uranium shells that are littered over every country you have invaded since the 70's.

your stereotypes for the french are sickening.

And which stereotype is off the mark?

That they lie and backstab allies for their own gain?

That they have an inferiorty complex directing their foreign policy or perhaps greed?

That militarily they are a joke and the only war they won was when they fought themselves?

That some of them actually fought FOR the Germans in WWII, remember the Vichy French?

I could go on but they suck it's plain to see and people have a right to be pissed off about these spineless, shifty, two faced frogs. They have always been a stain on the map it's just that the average millisecond-attention-spanned-spoon-fed-couch-potato American has recently figured it out because real life went and caused the news to pre-empt "Freinds" on their idiot box this week!!!!America is far from perfect but France isn't even in the rear-veiw mirror. We should have made one of the conditions for Germany's surrender in WWII that they had to keep France.:rolleyes

[AZhitman]

I think the only good thing the french invented was the blowjob.

Actually, I think that could be credited to the ancient Greeks.

[Movingviolation240]

Watch some more episodes and learn about how their semi and fully automatic troop weapons are far superior to the competition.

melt down the statue of liberty while you're at it, america, so you can make more casings for your depleted uranium shells that are littered over every country you have invaded since the 70's.

your stereotypes for the french are sickening.

I don't think they use much coper in the 30mm rounds for the A-10.... and depleted uranium isn't radioactive so what's the issue? I think the thousands of rounds of .308 from the FNFAL's would do more damage to the enviorment as a whole... but that's just my humble opinion.

I'm not sure if I'd call the french guns superior, IMHO it's on par with an HK-91.

and BTW people don't become sterotyped unless they earn that reputation somwhere allong the line.....

Paul

[deesolballs]

I think the only good thing the french invented was the blowjob. The French Suck

I'm pretty sure the canucks invented that as a method to extract milk from bulls.

[AZhitman]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Eswift "]Watch some more episodes and learn about how their semi and fully automatic troop weapons are far superior to the competition. Now if they could find someone to actually CARRY and FIRE one, they'd be in business...

...your depleted uranium shells that are littered over every country you have invaded since the 70's. Yes, we're SUCH the bullies - Attacking poor innocent countries that are minding their own business, raping and pillaging, stealing their resources and claiming their land as our own territory... Wait - That's not the US at all, is it?

your stereotypes for the french are sickening. Ever been in a crowd in France and taken a whiff? That's sickening. My old neighbors in Alabama have better hygiene.

[AZhitman]

I'm pretty sure the canucks invented that as a method to extract milk from bulls.

No, no no.

The canucks invented the BJ as a convenient way to avoid participating in armed conflict.

[deesolballs]

If that doesn't work they do this ... ...along with the damned french as they hide in the fox holes.

[Rockenreno]

No, no no.

The canucks invented the BJ as a convenient way to avoid participating in armed conflict.

ped

[VimyJ]

[quote=" AZhitman Yes, we're SUCH the bullies - Attacking poor innocent countries that are minding their own business, raping and pillaging, stealing their resources and claiming their land as our own territory... Wait - That's not the US at all, is it?[/quote]Well, AZ, technically and theorectically the current attack upon Iraq is illegal. You know as well as I do that W heaped up a bunch of lies to fool old ladies and rednecks (where would the Irish Travels and televangelists be without that demographic?) into believing that Iraq were the perpetrators of 9/11. Self defence my foot. Only a fool would believe that.

Now, what is the US? A mislead nation with a mislead and misleading president.

You, yanks don't seem to get it. There are some in the world that don't want "American" crap flooding at them from all directions be it cultural hegemony or economic imperialism. W said, " We didn't do anything to deserve the attacks on 9/11." I've said it before and I guess I'll have to say it again get your heads out of your a$$es. For every action there is a reaction. Though your ignorance prevented you from seeing that you were making an enemy in Islam, an enemy you did make and that enemy rammed some planes up your poop shoot. I lost a relative and fellow countrymen in that atrocity so spare me your crap that I somehow don't know about terrorism.

So now we have a greedy dullard leading the world's only superpower who has a philosphy of two wrongs make a right. (If you have trouble understanding that concept, go ask your mothers. AZ?) What bunch of friggin babies. Stomping on Iraq using totally inappropriate...

Shut up and sit still, deeso.

... use totally inappropriate references to WW II (which I needn't remind you the US sat around and immorally profitted off of until a truly great American president dragged the friggin' the US and Bush family into that just war.) We Canadians lost more of our population pro rated than the US did during that upheval. Taking ridiculous evidence before the UN in a lame attempt to get legitamcy for a money and power (oil) grab super power style. Cheeny who drones on about "The 21st Century" when he and his ilk behave more like 19th century robberbarons.

This invasion is a pile of crap from top to bottom. The French stink? They're nothing compared to the stench that is already emminating from W's vision of Pax Americana.

You fools with your used cars think that W cares one bit about your well being more han his own? He is already exploiting you. Using your hard earned resources to launch an illegal war and leave you with crushing bill. Good to know that in 20 years SS and Medicare will be finished and America a morass of haves and have nots.

Try to keep up, Maine.

No matter how this first invasion goes, the US is making powerful enemies. Maybe a Europe motivated by US aggression will finally unite as a counterbalance to the US. Why not? The EU's gross domestic product is greater than the US so they have the money to compete. Eurorope spends it's money on good things while the US pumps it into arms. Proof, their isn't the level of poverty in western Europe that you can enjoy here in the US. Come see the south side of Chicago. The only time any part of Europe looked like that was after the Russians smashed Berlin. And devastation like that flourishes in Washington DC, LA, Miami, DETROIT, St. Louis, etc. You have your JDAMS and they have their national health care programs. (And to dispell another American erroneous notion, Medicare is about 10 times better than the profit driven system down here. The people telling you all you've heard about how bad the Canadian system are same corporate types telling you that Iraq was responsible for 9/11)

Quote » Ever been in a crowd in France and taken a whiff? That's sickening. My old neighbors in Alabama have better hygiene. [/quote]Ever been in a crowd of Americans? They're all wearing stupid khaki shorts and running shoes bellowing about their trite, ignorant and banal insights.

A lot of you guys are young and you show it. Age will broaden your experience but only you can cure your ignorance. There is a big world out there.

Let's hope this war doesn't get ugly with US troops getting frustrated and slipping into committing war crimes. BTW, since the US is theoretically is operating outside of international law, it's leaders could be held responsible for such crimes in a world court.

Forgive W for he knows not what he does. Neither do you simps.

This post will probably get pulled, too, because it is not politically correct. Have a nice illegal invasion. At least if and when things get too stupid down here I can always head back to the best country in the world, Canada. HAHA! I have my Green card so you rednecks can kiss my Royal Canadian a$$. I'm not going anywhere 'till I'm good and ready.

[Nathan]

VimyJ I dont know why I am even justifying your post with a response but here goes...even if Iraq DOESNT have weapons of mass destruction (which I firmly believe they do) Saddam STILL needs to be taken out of power. This is a guy who has had his own family members murdered, tortured thousands, used chemical weapons upon his OWN people, has shown no respect whatsoever to UN resolutions placed against him and has very strong anti-american sentiments (which quite possibly means he might just support terrorism). You stupid canadian fu(k, your the reason Canadians get a bad name! An illegal war...who really cares? If it ends up America against the world then so what, that bastard saddam needs to be taken down along with quite a few other world leaders! I hope you ****ing die.

[slw240sx]

AMEN vimy J... i couldnt agree with you more !!!!

[MaineExport]

wow.. I thought we weren't supposed to be discussing these matters at this point in time. I'll leave it at that and avoid falling into the personal attacks that you have hypocritically involved yourself with.