I LEARNED'D something today!

[MinisterofDOOM]

you know, if you masturbate you will not get into heaven!

I'm pretty sure the sign says "Do Not Skate" not "Do Not Masturbate." They do rhyme, though, so I can see where you might have gotten confused.

[snwbrdr435]

mmmmmmm okay maybe i'll make one.

[drksolest]

Any suggestions from the learned'd crew?

other then a pull-a-part place, i'm doing nothing but drinking, cleaning and gettin myself ready for SUNDAY FOOZBALL! oh and my parents r coming down monday night so i'm settin up for that.

u should go to pull-a-part again n see what they got!

[marlin29311]

you know, if you masturbate you will not get into heaven!

[numbnuts240]

I'm going to dinner later with my family for my sister's birthday. Her new boyfriend will be there. I'm planning to make him as uncomfortable as possible. I am really going to enjoy myself. A lot.

Any suggestions from the learned'd crew?

oh man, i used to be really good at that. my shenanigans were always at our house, so i was able to wear appropriate "costumes" when meeting new bf's. sit unnecessarily close to him. keep referring to yourself in the third person and give him a new condescending nickname every time you talk to him (i.e. chief, sparky, numbnuts, boss, buddy). you have to use the right tone of voice, but i think you will be able to handle that easily. preach chaos theory all night. ask him inappropriate questions about his sexual history. that's all i got for now.

[MellowZ32]

[numbnuts240]

can i be the biker?

[DrifterXRPS13]

i wonder who's who in that pic?

[MellowZ32]

i wonder who's who in that pic?

I wanna be the leather bear

[MinisterofDOOM]

other then a pull-a-part place, i'm doing nothing but drinking, cleaning and gettin myself ready for SUNDAY FOOZBALL! oh and my parents r coming down monday night so i'm settin up for that.

u should go to pull-a-part again n see what they got!

I actually think I will go back to pull-a-part. I need some speaker amps.I was referring to shens to pull on my sister's new boyfriend though.

sit unnecessarily close to him. keep referring to yourself in the third person and give him a new condescending nickname every time you talk to him (i.e. chief, sparky, numbnuts, boss, buddy). you have to use the right tone of voice, but i think you will be able to handle that easily. preach chaos theory all night. ask him inappropriate questions about his sexual history. that's all i got for now.

"Greetings, [name]. The MinisterofDOOM offers his heartiest regards."

I can totally do the chaos theory thing. Ian Malcolm is one of the reasons I wear only black today.

"Buddy." Oh, man I hate that word. Uhh.....die. I would never call anyone else "buddy" unless perhaps I was about to kill them.

Good stuff, thanks man.

[marlin29311]

i wonder who's who in that pic?

I call electrical worker.

[DrifterXRPS13]

^^ the goat?

[numbnuts240]

I was referring to shens to pull on my sister's new boyfriend though.

i left you some ideas, but i thought of another. take him to the side and convcine him of jsut how crazy your sister is. like that time she caught her last bf watching p0rn and she almost took his d!ck off with the pruning shears. or how she makes t-shirts that say "i'm with (insert bf's name here)" and "future mrs. (insert last name here)". basically convince him that she is the ultimate stage five clinger.

[snwbrdr435]

So mod your trying to get rid of him?

[numbnuts240]

So mod your trying to get rid of him?

it's a new bf, so he's probably either not keen on the idea of his sister dating, or just trying to be a douche. i was a combination of those two when my sister was dating.

[Murdered_T]

man im sooo hungry

[MinisterofDOOM]

it's a new bf, so he's probably either not keen on the idea of his sister dating, or just trying to be a douche. i was a combination of those two when my sister was dating.

Yeah, combination of both. I'm just being an ***, but I also want the guy to be afraid of me so he's less inclined to do anything he probably shouldn't.I'm find with her dating. I just want to make sure if she's dating bungholes, they get put in their place.

[numbnuts240]

i just didn't want my sister dating. the worse part is that she was 3 years older than me lol. i've been an a-hole my whole life.

[MinisterofDOOM]

My sister's 6 years younger than me.New Boyfriend is 2 years younger than me.I am suspicious.

[Murdered_T]

KILL EM

[numbnuts240]

My sister's 6 years younger than me.New Boyfriend is 2 years younger than me.

that s*** don't fly around these parts that's the bf that gets brought to a big family function and gets taken aside by lots of male relatives. he get intimidated to the point right before he soils himself and he uncomfortably goes back inside to tell the gf that he's not feeling too good and is going to take off.

[MellowZ32]

My sister's 6 years younger than me.New Boyfriend is 2 years younger than me.I am suspicious.

you should be!my lil' sister is 19 and is dating now and just to be on the save side I always threaten her dates!

[snwbrdr435]

A few years ago i went to pick up a girl and he dad invited me in and then proceeded to take out all his guns and started cleaning them.

[MinisterofDOOM]

A few years ago i went to pick up a girl and he dad invited me in and then proceeded to take out all his guns and started cleaning them.

Actually, I was considering going over early and doing exactly that with my dad.Imagine walking in and finding your date's dad and brother cleaning an SKS, Mauser, and several large-caliber handguns while mumbling furiously about those "damned commies."

[DrifterXRPS13]

That's when you tell him abouty our gun collection and bam...the bond is made!

[snwbrdr435]

I started helping him clean them haha

[numbnuts240]

Actually, I was considering going over early and doing exactly that with my dad.Imagine walking in and finding your date's dad and brother cleaning an SKS, Mauser, and several large-caliber handguns while mumbling furiously about those "damned commies."

that would be priceless. hide a camera and upload it so i can see the lulz.

i couldn't do that because my gun collection consists of a super soaker and my d!ck. on second thought, that might make him uncomfortable enough to not want to date my daughter. me, sitting on the couch with a disassembled super soaker, polishing my c***

[DrifterXRPS13]

mmm sounds hot tito

[snwbrdr435]

me, sitting on the couch with a disassembled super soaker, polishing my c***

[MellowZ32]

i couldn't do that because my gun collection consists of a super soaker and my d!ck.

that's a tiny collection, really tiny!