Good for a laugh, can't believe anyone would actually do this though.
Oil Change
How not to change your oil.
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Axel Grungy
- Posts: 4711
- Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2003 8:13 am
- Car: 2001 G20 5spd
- Location: Cincinnati OH
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skydragoness
- Posts: 9394
- Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2002 6:49 am
- Car: 03' 350z Touring 6spd
92' 240sx 60k survivor :) - Location: North DFW, TEJAS
- Contact:
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RedHatchback
- Posts: 476
- Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2004 4:28 pm
- Car: was a 240, now a cobra, soon a z32 TT
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RedHatchback
- Posts: 476
- Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2004 4:28 pm
- Car: was a 240, now a cobra, soon a z32 TT
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Florida240sx
- Posts: 11114
- Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2004 7:17 am
- Car: 1993 Nissan 240SX Hatch 5spd
2012 Nissan Altima S coupe 2.5 - Location: DeLand FL
Funny stuff sounds liek the kids at my school. Both just blew up there engine the next dya after chanigng oil. When engines were blown the checked oil and it had only 1qt. honda civic and 3000gt. Now at my old school the one im goign back to..well 90% of them don't know how to even pump gas.Let alone even check their oil. Say a kid one day skipping class to change his oil in the school parking lot. Admistrator came over just as he took the plug off and scared him and got oil all over him.
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PhaneSoul
- Posts: 844
- Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2004 7:10 pm
- Car: 89 Nissan 240SX SE Black 5spd Wrecked
95 Nissan 240SX SE Green 5spd s14.5 yay! - Contact:
Oil Change instructions for Women:1) Pull up to Mr. Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.2) Drink a cup of coffee.3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintainedvehicle.Money spent:Oil Change $30.00Coffee $1.00Total $31.00
Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a chequefor $50.00.2) Stop by Beer Store and buy a case of beer, write a cheque for $30.00, drive home.3) Open a beer and drink it.4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.7) Place drain pan under engine.8) Look for 13mm box end wrench.9) Give up and use crescent wrench.10) Unscrew drain plug.11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in process. Cuss.12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Drink a beer.17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work.18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to recycle.19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.21) Walk to Beer Store; buy beer.22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.24) Remember drain plug from step 11.25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug.27) Drink beer.28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.30) Drink beer.31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.33) Begin cussing fit.34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left boob.36) Beer.37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.38) Beer.39) Beer.40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.41) Beer.42) Lower car from jack stands.43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.45) Beer.46) Test drive car.47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.48) Car gets impounded.49) Call loving wife, make bail.50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.Money spent:Parts $50.00DWI Charge $2500.00Impound fee $75.00Bail $1500.00Beer $60.00Total-- $4185.00But you know the job was done right GUYS!
Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a chequefor $50.00.2) Stop by Beer Store and buy a case of beer, write a cheque for $30.00, drive home.3) Open a beer and drink it.4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.7) Place drain pan under engine.8) Look for 13mm box end wrench.9) Give up and use crescent wrench.10) Unscrew drain plug.11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in process. Cuss.12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Drink a beer.17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work.18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to recycle.19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.21) Walk to Beer Store; buy beer.22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.24) Remember drain plug from step 11.25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug.27) Drink beer.28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.30) Drink beer.31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.33) Begin cussing fit.34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left boob.36) Beer.37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.38) Beer.39) Beer.40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.41) Beer.42) Lower car from jack stands.43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.45) Beer.46) Test drive car.47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.48) Car gets impounded.49) Call loving wife, make bail.50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.Money spent:Parts $50.00DWI Charge $2500.00Impound fee $75.00Bail $1500.00Beer $60.00Total-- $4185.00But you know the job was done right GUYS!
.I am speachless. You know, I'm not gonna trash the guy though. I'm sure enough people already have. I'll just say this, some people just need to leave mechanical things alone. If you don't know what you are doing, or need help with something, please, ask for help. Drain plugs are not that hard to remove, ESPECIALLY on a car that new. He was probably turning it the wrong way, or he is only 8 years old and not strong enough yet to loosen it.